Day two of contacts....

Went to Walmart and purchased special eyedrops and a card for my little camera - I can NOT stand NOT taking photos. Its like I'm missing part of life, not being able to record it.

The contacts went in within five minutes this morning. Or, this afternoon - I slept so long, I'm ashamed. I woke up at 2:30 a.m. last night to find whole family of descendants under me had destroyed the living room - boxes and wrappers and etc., they were opening wedding presents at 2:30 a.m.

My TV has been taken over by current SIL who has on the forbidden thing in my territory - football - sorry all red blooded females and males - I hate the game. I would rather watch Mexican wrestling I hate it so bad. But my sense of Karma tells me I should be hospitable - after all, they are currently homeless. I pray daily for the workers on the home site to be quick, quick, quick.

Ex SIL is out in the 90 degree heat playing batman with grandson - I called them in and fed them red chili - duh - but I bought a ton of hamburger from Sam's and that portion was cooked and handily turned into chili. So, they are double sweating. I'm sitting here with swelling ankles, a thing that happens in summer, think I should get on the elliptical, but will have to wait until SIL leaves to take daughter to work - hurry, hurry.

Will go to beach to watch sun go down and let the boy run among the waves, maybe I will too, well, maybe walk. Then home again - hope the shaved ice stand is open later.

"H" in a town down the road for orientation for new job - don't know when the switch will happen - he's going crazy because Albertsons is paying severance to employees going to work at Winn Dixie, but not the employees going to work for Publix, even though there will be a no-income gap for the Publix hirees. No, its not fair, but I know one thing, making ourselves sick over the unfairness will hurt no one but - guess who - us. So, I'm just practicing thankfulness in this economic climate that he has a job to go to.

Contacts

Well, yes I need business contacts too! BUT I got a wild hair. Yep. I love my glasses, I love bold, in your face eye glasses, sun glasses. I can hide behind them, I can use them when I'm in my power mode (oh, I'm so deluded on that one) - and I can see things with them that I couldn't see otherwise.

But for some crazy reason I decided I wanted contacts and I discovered "H" has VISION insurance on me. Woo hoo. I came home wearing contacts from my eye exam today. Never mind it took over an hour to insert them Today I can wear them for four hours. I never want to take them off. I am FREEEEEEEEEEE. It is the oddest feeling. Why haven't I done this before? Well, when I inquired about them years ago they were incredibly expensive and I was told my vision problem could not be corrected by contacts. But hey, it's 2008 and I decided to check it out! I need new glasses too - the blurriness I am experiencing at the end of the day and when reading for very long is just a need for more lens power.

For years, until I was in my forties, I enjoyed perfect vision. It was incredibly hard to get used to not having perfect vision....but I'm there now. Reality is reality.

Anyway, I'm dreading taking them out and putting them back in tomorrow - but what fun - what freedom - shouldn't be a big thing, but it is an incredibly big thing. As soon as the dilation drops wear off, I hope I find I am seeing as well as I think I am. Did you know they make BIFOCAL contacts? LOL, baby boomers will never age, we won't!!!! No one would ever know if I didn't have a big mouth!

It's awesome to be able to see to put on makeup. The down side is that I can clearly see my face, and, uh, there's a few more wrinkles there than I thought there was.

Wedding Over

Except for the aftermath. House is still piled with boxes. And there is too much tempting cake sitting around. Anyway, it was a pretty wedding and the reception was really elegant. I held up ok - another day I'll be rested. My daughter looked stunning - well, we all looked pretty good - amazing what dressing up will do for people! Will post pics soon I hope - I found one camera that the card had been removed from and my trusty Sony Mavica - someone had destroyed the tip of the charger and I couldn't charge it, so I had to rely on the photographer, who happened to be wonderful taking the pics. Now, if we can get them back quickly - he took lots. The ones of the boy were exceptional.

They are on a short honeymoon then will have to move in with us until their house is finished. Oh, dear Lord, hurry the workers.

I didn't shed but maybe 3 or 4 tears - my oldest daughter was the one that cried. The groom's oldest son cried, but then its only been about a year and one-half since his mother died, so it must have been really hard for him, although he likes my daughter.

So, how is a down-home grits 'n country, it is what it is, family going to meld with a green, organic, overly analytical bookworm family? Dunno. Time will tell.

I had a great time with groom's boss and her husband, and sure did enjoy visiting around with people...for a latent shy person, I was very social. It must have been the jewel-encrusted silver flip flops - had magic in them? Three glasses of wine?

Now, I have to make a lot of appointments this month for eye exam, back-related, some business related, school for the boy, then surgery - then hopefully, I can be NORMAL and start getting lots of things done that I need to do for myself to get out of the overwhelmed pattern which I've been running in circles this year, and last. Been falling down on Doc Lovely's program, but at least I am holding. So far. Need to get back on track and make it a priority. Tomorrow - first thing.

I'm Launching!

Here's the big announcement - I bought into a business, a business I can do based at home. More importantly, I will be making my contribution toward helping people as it is a Wellness business.

I am testing the products myself so I will know without a doubt that these products work, not only well, but fabulously well. So far, everything has met my expectations, above and beyond.

The other people in the business are upbeat, positive and have the same expectation: Helping other people feel better.

My website is online, I need to do some tweaking. My business email is dianaobe@mynikken.net.

And I have to think of a name for my business cards. Not Healing Tree Design, but something with "Healing Tree" in it. I'm so excited. I will also have a wonderful excuse to go to Orlando in October for a conference to learn more.

This is so unlike me, but seeing people whole mentally, spiritually, and physically has long been a passion for me, as well as getting there myself, so I jumped in almost the first time I was introduced to the products and way of life.

UPside DOWn

First, I told Andrew from "To Love, Honor, and Dismay" that I would spread the word - he has some of the clearest most sane feedback that I've ever come across in the area of relationships. His link is on my blog....even if your relationship was made in heaven, (am I a cynic or what), you can go on and help someone else with your point of view.

Second, egad, I was just invited to join something called "Yearbook" - now there is My Space, Face Book, Classmates, now Year Book in addition to Blogspot. These all feed my computer addiction so I have to cut back somewhere. I think my favorites are Blogspot, then My Space. Yearbook looks to be a "Meat Market" and very superficial....shudder. Sorry, if any of you are on it and love it. Just my weird opinion.

I found a watermelon in my garden. A real, true life watermelon!!!! I was weeding (oh,yes, weeds had gotten that bad) and there it was. Half was eaten away by something, so I just cut that part off, turned it under for mulch, and bought the other half into the house, cleaned it up and it is - GOOD! Awwww, my first watermelon produced by my very own efforts.

Future SIL is informing me that their dining room table and chairs will arrive in a box and they are putting it in my garage - uh, the garage is full. Very full. A fire hazard, a mental drag down, a rat trap, and a dangerous place to place anything as it will disappear. I guarantee. Besides, gees...is there a limit? I once made a wonderful peg board, nailed it to the wall and hung all my garden tools on it. Did it disappear? Yes, behind stacks and stacks of boxes too heavy for me to move - and the spot I had for storage of my paintings, etc...???? Has it disappeared as well - can I reach it when I am called with an opportunity to show somewhere - No, I can't. I want my Prozac and I want it now. But I can't find it.

The garage is already full, and "H" is piling cardboard boxes full of books in the bedroom.

Ok, I will regain my sanity - I will have surgery, then I will recuperate. Then I will, God willing, find someone with a truck who will help me clean that garage and the bedroom. I will give everyone fair warning to remove their stuff they never use and I am going on a CLEANING, Feng Shui (or however you spell it) spree in the garage. Someday. This year I hope. I have been steadily going through my "stuff" clearing it out. But then stuff that is not mine takes over any space I make for myself. This would make a really good script for a horror movie. Even more scary than people being chopped up and cooked in a pot, or truckers who scare you, or.....

I'm getting confused just writing this.

Ghosts in New Orleans

My daughter and grandson did a get-away to New Orleans - they like spooky places tours. She took this photo of a building - it did not reflect the round lights or the light coming out of the room in her other photos, nor could they see this when they looked at the building. It freaked her out - the round orbs up close seem to have faces in them....

According to the Guide, fourteen murders happened in this building - some of the victims had the blood drained from them from a cut in the left wrist.

Any ideas?

There will be - - - Movies

Nice thing about being "senior" - cheap movie tickets.

Let's see, what have I seen lately? The latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight - Ledger was awesome, scary. I have to admit I was sleeping through a lot of it - now, that's tired!

Next, Journey to the Center of the Earth - Exciting and fun, what I saw of it. Slept through lots of it too.

Stayed awake through: Wanted with Angelina Jolie. What can I say? Looking at her is worth it, other than that, blood and brains - but maybe a good escapist action film....she's so funny sometimes in her choice of films.

TWICE - I saw Mama Mia - this film delighted me from the tips of my toes to the top of my head - partially because the cast acted like they were having the time of their lives. Also I love that people past 35 having sex lives and being energetic and fun was actually portrayed in a film coming out of Hollywood. Aww, suck it up, you'll all pass 35 sooner or later, my dears. Be happy to know its not over. Seriously, this was such a fun film - a must see. "H" even smiled his way through it...at first he thought it was a pure girly film then began to have a great time!

This afternoon I watched There will be Blood in between two two phone calls from my daughter. (She had been to New Orleans and shot a photo of some spirits or something - yes, I'll post it later.) Anyway, watching how getting oil was done in the "early" days was interesting. I think what it does to people's lives is probably pretty much the same today...greed will eat a person up sooner or later. What getting oil does to people's lives - we now see on a global scale.

Amazing what can be accomplished when the kids leave home, ha ha!

Shifting Sands and Clanging Change

Too much change, too fast! The above is "H's" new vehicle - I may have mentioned the engine went on his '94 Toyota small pickup. Upon the advice of our trusty mechanic, he said goodbye to it and traded it in - I think the salesmen were snickering when they saw their "trade-in." He even had the headlight stabilzed with duct tape - yeh, really! I like the car - it is much like my old PT Cruiser - small, yet roomy for tall folks, zippy, fun, and best of all, you can still haul stuff.

Next change - his new job prospect looks pretty good - transition perhaps in August. Our prescription insurance ends this month - I have to order a few prescriptions ahead - the pharmacy keeps goofing on this, so I will have to take care of it later today.

The wedding still on - I have a breather for a few days as they took the boy and went on vacation - its nice having a quiet morning, time for blogging, and leisurly coffee and more coffee. I'm supposed to be making lots of bows for decoration while they are gone - but I feel like painting, so I will. Maybe a few bows. :)

I bought into a wellness business that I can work as much or as little as I want. I need extra $ and this is something I am passionate about. Hope I am not crazy, I probably could have put some much needed new flooring material in for what that cost me. But this business will help others live a better life....(when I get all set up and a website done, I'll post what it is!) Hopefully when fall comes there is another venture a friend and I have been considering....

I scheduled back surgery for August 27th. I may chicken out yet, I don't know. Since the injections I have so much less pain, but I know they don't last forever, yet I know ANY surgery is a risk....so I am of two minds. I did find someone who does "non-invasive" surgery, who pioneered the wire cage technique, and who teaches it. So that should be some good kind of credentials. He would do it at a quiet hospital in the next county which pleases me....and best of all, I would be down for about two weeks compared to months with the open surgery proposed previously. Probably five days in the hospital because even though its non-invasive, its extensive, and they freak out a little about surgery on people who have had pulmonary embolisms. He did say I would never be totally without pain, but if I don't get the pressure of the nerves, I will eventually not be able to walk because it is already affecting my right foot, thus the fall in the airport. (Soooooooo embarrassing.) He watched me walk and said the right foot is definitely dragging. This is I know, as I have been being very careful about not falling.

The main thing is I can take care of myself after surgery and not have to worry anyone else during their major transitions.

Big Meowie is still gone - I gave up hope for a couple of days, but have renewed the searching and I won't stop. He may pop up again. Especially now that the house is quiet. I will not get another - although to me, these little companions God gave us humans that are so easily domesticated seem to make a house a home. There are still two left - although they are the champion odd balls of the catworld. Ms. Meowie eventually came home....I need to find a place where I can find etched tags for their collars. I miss their little cat fights - the two that knew they were mine, or vice versa, were always swatting at each other, one trying to keep the other away from me. Psycho definitely knows he's the boy's so the only one he loves on is the boy and his mom, although I'm the one that let the little brat nurse the skin on my arm when he was pitched out of mamma's warm nest at 4 weeks old and fed him with a kitten bottle.

Something odd in me that wants to gather animals about me....thier silent (sometimes) companionship comforts me, entertains me, and blesses me - but I'm one of those nature lover/tree hugger people types who sees a magnificent gift when I spot a dolphin at play in the Gulf or one of the bays - doesn't take much to please me. There is something noble in an animal - animals are so much less complicated than humans....

Let's see - what else? I'm now reading "Infinite Love and Gratitude." About the mind/body/beliefs health connections. I need to get over to our book review blog and post about two others I've read. Airplane trips are the best way for me to read non-stop!

Such a beautiful, magnificent sunny day today - I am soooooooo excited - wish the days were twice as long . . . . but they aren't. For good reason I'm sure.

Well, now to get over and visit you all - speaking of visits - I had hope Candy Minx and Stagg would be popping in - it didn't work out, maybe later this year, but I was so looking forward to seeing them - soon!

Take care all....!

Kids and Pets

Kids and Pets are at the mercy of whoever "owns" them.

I had a pastor once who said that you can tell the value a town puts on its children by seeing how much the town tolerates animal abuse and neglect. Think about it.

My kitty looks so trusting, innocent and helpless doesn't he? The hunt for him still continues. Too much rain tonight. It left me wondering if he is cold and wet and hungry. The other ones stick close to me like they know something is terribly wrong. I pamper them with special canned treats and a little chicken. They are appreciative. Its almost like losing a child - it makes the remaining ones seem more precious than they were before the loss.

The kid photo - the one on the right is me - (the tall one of course) and on the left, a life long friend, Ann. We still keep in touch often. Two little girls who carry the weight of the world on their shoulders - who would have guessed. Ann was widowed when she was 19 and pregnant.

I have so much weighing on my mind. Children want so to keep things status quo and familiar. Even though that familiarity isn't necessarily the best for them. Its always hard knowing what to do. When I grew up, no matter how terribly complicated things were, the only place to go was in my head, and I didn't have any comparisons and I thought that's just the way things were. Dreary, always dreary. Trying not to make waves. Any waves.

The weight is almost paralyzing. It's nearly midnight now, and I want to go open another box in the garage. It is labeled "canvas." I wonder if perhaps it also contains pastel paper. There is another art party tomorrow night. I feel like making black ravens. But I am too paralyzed to do art. I miss fierce anger - at least I could get stuff done.

Went to get hair trimmed for wedding - Todd says that it is hard growing up, but maybe having it hard makes us more deeply attuned and more compassionate. He has a bitty black, baby toy poodle that the boy holds the entire time we are all in the shop.

I tell "H" the boy has finally found the kind of dog he wants. And, at home all hell breaks loose - I didn't say we got one, really, why the explosion? But I know that there will be no more animals in this house because they deserve to be respected by all the inhabitants of a home, and not treated as a nuisance or worse. Different values - a pet brings joy and peace to my home in my mind, not resentment and anger. One might get frustrated with some of their antics - but to hate them, no way. Maybe in his new home the boy can have a puppy. Maybe. Stepdad says he doesn't want the boy's cat, Psycho. "H" doesn't want Psycho here - so now what? IF, IF there was such a thing as reincarnation I would hope both stepdad and "H" come back as cats. At an animal shelter. Something about walking a mile in someone's moccasins to learn empathy.

I smile because the boy says that Psycho is the little brother he never had. I don't smile because now he's afraid Psycho will disappear too. Pretty darn lonely when you think a cat is your little brother. All of us fear loss because of the loss of my son. Because of the loss of property in a tornado. Because people go away. How do we teach children and ourselves to move on?

Ah, company is coming, I'm excited. Rays of sunshine! Some of my favorite people in the whole world, lively, stimulating conversation! Warmth. Yay. And someone to share a stick of butter with! (Smile) I think I will try pricing out a condo on the beach - wouldn't that be fun? Come on Monday so I can make some phone calls.

Went to see Mama Mia tonight waiting for the black cloud to leave the house - it was nice to laugh myself silly and to be so delighted by a movie. See it for some light hearted laughter - it has a good cast - great scenery - fun story line -

Big Meowie still on the "lam"

The water, the beautiful water. Maybe tomorrow - maybe tomorrow.

Big Meowie still missing. We passed out flyers around the area last night.

Ms. Meowie is taking off too. I am getting them some identification collars ASAP.

I think I'm over my depression of seeing all the cats at the animal prison. It was totally pitiful - so many kittens - one tiny mamma cat nursing tiny babies - I would be facing expulsion from my own home if I took them home - other cats with that sad look in their eyes - it hurts my heart to see animals with depressed eyes - animals or children. I want to make it all better. I bet there were 50 cats/kittens there. They only keep them four days before euthanizing them.

Drove out to a beautiful sports medicine clinic yesterday and discussed my MRI with a neurosurgeon. He does "non-invasive" surgery - thinks he can fix the multiple mess I have back there at least enough to get pressure off the nerves, but he said I probably never would be free of pain - it would just lessen and my foot will quit being floppy whereas if wait I might not get use of my foot again if it gets more nerve damage - soooooo - maybe August. Maybe. Late August. He supposedly pioneered this technique of wire cage around the damaged part of vertebrae stuffed with my own bone and a series of bolts (a definite fusion) and goes around teaching. I think "H" is resigned to the necessity of paying COBRA premiums for a few months. Well, its tough, but sometimes life just throws some deals at people and we have to "deal" with it. I would have liked to have had some new carpet rather than pay premiums too, but hey....walking is pretty important too. More important than having boxes of books one never reads sitting around in the floor.

I believe he is going out this a.m. to make a final offer on a metallic orange HHR so he will have wheels under his feet.

I'm going to lunch with a friend that I look forward to seeing - she's the one who does the "Day Apart" seminars. She just returned from Africa so I will have some exciting conversation, I'm sure.

Then downtown to close on a refinance at a lower interest rate. Odd time to decide to refinance - should have done it when rates were even lower. I'm impressed though that we qualify for a refinance during a time when lenders have tightened down the screws, which apparently they should have done a long time ago. I was always terrified of sub prime lenders, however I have an ex son-in-law that has picked up several houses beginning in that market and is now a landlord as well as a homeowner. Go figure.

More coffee, a strawberry shake for breakfast, then I start the day....we've been making centerpieces and favors - tonight I will make a variety of red, white, and black blows. Feels good to be doing something with my hands. I will be soooooo glad when this wedding is over, school has started - the boy is getting so fidgety - he is eating like crazy and all the ribs have disappeared - for him, that's a good thing. I have eggplant and snap beans and all sorts of vegetables to prepare. Too much to do today. Tomorrow hopefully the beach and hopefully Big Meowie will be returned safely and unharmed.

MISSING!

My baby is missing, my love, my darling, my kitty boy that I have had for 10-11 years. I came back from my trip and when I tried to pet him he would duck and run from me. I couldn't figure it out, what had happened to him while I was gone? Then I woke up one morning and he was gone - just gone. I was up from 1 a.m. last night until now, calling for him every so often. I saw hawks soaring and calling through the air the morning of the night he disappeared.

Daughter said she would check at the dog pound, but she didn't get there until it closed. I will go when it opens in the morning, then I'll have to come back home, then leave later to pick up medical records, and then return home, and then later go to another town to see the neurosurgeon. Perhaps Big Meowie will be there and I will not feel so gloomy.

I can tell I'm back home - the stress never ends - I'm so exhausted I can barely move. "H" has slunk back into his non-communication, don't bother me mode and is angry at me because we will have to pay COBRA premiums to keep me insured until he finds another job. So wicked of me to need health insurance.

Other daughter is furious with me for smudging her paint on her car door - at least it didn't scratch into the metal - I did not have time to get it to a garage to get it buffed out before I went out to clean my stuff out of my mother's garage as she arrived to pick it up after I left for Wyo. So she's not speaking, only to triangulate in my other daughter and "H" and they are all holding their secrets again. I left my mother's house thinking that I was getting away from all that triangulation - she has even triangled her dogs into her dramas. Anyway, I ordered 3 copies of "Infinite Love and Gratitude" - I will read one, give one to each daughter and hope for the best. I don't know what's in it, but I think, intuit, that we all need it. Life is too dang short to carry grudges around - I would think that they (grudges, bags of unreasonable anger) are very heavy on one's shoulders.

Went to see Doc Lovely today - he hadn't seen me for a while - a big grin broke out on his face - he was way more tickled than me....gave a class on fat cells around our middles that store hormones that do awful things to us - maybe that's why I feel down - I then left his office, ate two pieces of blueberry cheesecake, one piece of key lime pie, a handful of sun chips - ah, yes, I BINGED....big. I think I aggravated my starving fat cells and caused a hormonal riot. Oh well, I'll be fine tomorrow when I'm not so blooming exhausted and will get a handle on it once again. I think I better get my red blood cells checked again.

An invitation came from a friend who has a wonderful connection with God - to attend "A Time Apart" day ..... I need to go and soak and lay my head on my spiritual Father's chest and cry, (or maybe just rest and be gently rocked) I haven't cried for a long time...too long, it seems that all my tears have dried up pretty much. I don't know why. Too tired I guess. For now.

Home again

Came back to this beauty - the rest of garden is full of weeds and the tomatoes are done as well as the other vegetables so I will be relegated to the farmers' markets for the rest of the summer until I learn more about gardening in Florida.

Naps and sleep - and back to regular diet - starting to feel a bit normal so far this a.m.

There are only pics of dogs for my Wyoming trip - that usually sums up visits to my mother's. I will post them - they are a fairly good bunch - entertaining and I fell for a bouncy, a bit obnoxious but totally CUTE Whippet, pic to follow - only dog that ever would obey me, so she won me over. (My cats seem depressed, dried up, and in need of TLC in only ten days....I don't know what happened while I was gone. Big Meowie acted afraid I would hit him, my poor timid beautiful baby. Today I am going to get them some canned salmon and hopefully we can bathe them - grandson will help with 20 pound big mamma, Ms. Meowie. Despite flea treatment her white underbelly is crawling - fleas so love white fur.)

I did get all my boxes out of the garage - hooray! My mother was a total grouch until it was all completed, but after then we had a nice time. It wasn't as terribly hot as I feared it would be. The doctor in his infinite wisdom gave me a prescription for the trip for muscle relaxers and things went fairly well.

Two of my friends drove hours to come see me, bless their hearts. We had good visits, and I was able to see my sister for about half a day. My friends told me I looked like a different person, that was fun. She was tied up with a class reunion pretty much and spent time with her son and the trip was over too fast.

The return flight which took part of an afternoon and all night long was miserable, totally miserable. I should have been able to read an entire 400 page novel, but only got a few pages into my return trip book.

So, back to normal. Sort of. Wedding plans still progress on........I'm spending all the time with grandson that I can. School is only about 3 weeks away.....the wedding is two weeks away - their honeymoon will be in Biloxi - old folks' heaven I call it - when I go there, which has been years now since, I see old people who look like they need to spend money on clothing and some self care, often hauling oxygen tanks - and the incessant sound of gambling starts to grate on my nerves, so I leave for a nearby small southern town where there is a unique artists' commune and a museum. Perhaps there will be some good shows there - the food is usually always good where there are casinos.

I found a slinky, black chiffon across the chest, with a band of faux rhinestones under the bust, fabulous sale outfit for the wedding and my shoes came in. I just need some rhinestone/fake rhinestone earrings. And where will I wear that after the wedding? Who knows? Maybe I will start responding to all the wedding invitations I receive from people at church. Not. Go to a wedding so you can wear your outfit? How superficial is that? But everyone should have one black, slinky outfit in the closet in case something special comes up.

This week we have centerpieces to assemble. And I wonder why I have a hard time painting.

Ah, maybe the winter will bring time with it. Suppose? The house needs painted on the inside and upkeep on the outside - I've been trying to paint the front door for a year and one-half - lots of all projects on the list.

Leaving

Leaving here today at 4 pm - tired already - will be on all night flight - getting home at 8:44 in the a.m. tomorrow - no, I am not going anywhere romantic like Italy, just trying to fly in our economically crashing country.....I've had almost ten days of news and my Zune is not charged so can't listen to anything uplifting to overcome the concern I have loaded onto my shoulders for my country.

I hope to sleep on the longer leg of the flight.

Being back to regular routine will be really nice.....and blogging and commenting. Hola - see you soon. Er, will write comments soon.

Status Report

It is incredibly hot here - no A/C. I have escaped to Starbucks once and went to store to get me a couple more pairs of summer bottoms - I have shrunk another size. Tomorrow my sister is coming to get me and we'll go out of town for a day, hopefully it will be restful. There is still business to take care of from home while out here as well.

My back is screaming at me today, "enough, already."

We took a truck load of "stuff" I don't want to send home to Poverty Resistance, and I do have some of my son's boxes remaining which I will have to ship another time because it is so costly....I will not be able to unpack anything when 15 boxes arrive at the house because daughter is packing up to move to her new home when its time and there is such an ongoing mess there at home.

Made it out to the cemetery with an armload of red gladiolas.

I'm in bad trouble with the older daughter as she found out her son and I scratched her vehicle accidentaly. Because I didn't tell her. I guess I should have called her immediately and informed her that she had a smudged place on the paint on her car. Oi. At least there is no scratch - just some smudged paint. That shouldn't break my bank to have fixed for her. Wellllll....maybe it will. There is just so much going on, my mind categorized it in the "to deal with file when returned home."

Now, I have to sit down with my mother and get her affairs in a notebook as she has decided best not to leave it all as a surprise. She still says I have "stuff scattered all over her house," but I don't see it, and I'm too tired to care much right now. And if someone says, when I get back, "How was your vacation?" I will most likely have to walk away because of what I might say.

I still have to take photos of some things that need to be posted on Ebay for sale.

I long to be home. I miss my family, I miss my cats. My routine. I wish my mother would move closer. I think.

I think a huge Tex-Mex dinner and two margueritias would make me feel immensely better (or worse, LOL!). But I won't, I will doggedly continue on to my goal, THEN, ....then!!!! But only once. Wyoming does have a corner on tremendous Mexican food however.

Isn't it awful to look forward to a five hour layover in Denver, just for the rest?

Anxious to catch up with ya'll.

How about this news? Banks failing. A government that is trillions of dollars in debt bailing them out? This state is now cutting Medicaid, and many clinics and doctors are loudly announcing they aren't taking either that or Medicare, including Blue/Cross Blue Shield insurance. What will they do - just let people die? Folks, I haven't seen anything like this in my lifetime. My mother says she has - the beginning of the Great Depression - I rarely watch the news at home - here it plays 24/7 - well, at least Angelina and Brad had their babies and they are healthy - ok, I admit it, I am a bit star struck over that dazzling couple.

So.....leaving this pitiful dialup computer and rejoining my mother and the dogs.

Later.

The Starlight Cafe

Just dropping by via dial-up to say Hi, Everyone.....

This is a stressful trip. I'm afraid I will not be able to see everyone....too much to be done here.

But, for tonight, I'm lying here with my Zune and earphones..and putting worries on the shelf...

Some lyrics from Tom Kenyan....(ya, I know you've never heard of him) If you have, I am your life long "soul friend".....

Some find peace in the house of prayer, I find it in your eyes.
And I want to touch you, just touch you, may I take shelter in the
comfort of your touch?
The storm has been way too much, may I drop anchor in the harbor of your touch?
Another excerpt from the song from "The Starlight Cafe." (From his albumn, "Forbidden Songs" ....

Starlight Cafe, every thought is a taxi....take me please to the Starlight Cafe.
Take me across the river where everything shines and my fantasies and dreams
are just doing fine..and I will pay whatever the cost to find that my dreams
have never been lost..

Take me cross the river, I hear there is a table where you can talk to everyone
from the past......we'll go up to the bar where the bartender makes drinks full
of stars......

Yes, I'm going to sit down at that table and talk to everyone from my past and
tell them everything I should have told them, at last

From: "Moorish Moon"

I see the stars up in the sky, and I see the passion in your eyes,
How many lovers have stood under this moon....

The power of this moon.....

This artist loves to play with the power of sound to manipulate your senses...one feels like they are moved to another space, another time, another place. He combines his art into an interesting bundle. Thisparticular album has a painting that his father created - the only remaining painting that his father did of island women somewhere in some exotic places where he sailed....a rather delicious, dreamy listen.

From "Would you like to dance?"

I have spent too much time in life just watching, but now....
Would you like to dance?
May I have this dance?

Sometimes when I am near you I feel like I am floating in air
And it still amazes me that I do not even seem to care...
What is the feeling I am feeling inside of me - what is this grace
come down from above
And I already feel like singing with the turtle doves
Could it be that I am just falling in love...

These would be such nice songs to have some wine nearby, some candles, and to lie under the stars listening, falling in love, with the sea, the salt air, the sand, the pure joy of life, two lovers tumbling in time, a memory pressed into the heart that looks like a painting in the mind.....this music also goes nicely with a long mineral bath...

I just love this music so much....

My Back Yard

I don't go out back much this year - I don't know why. Today I looked out through the patio doors and was flooded with green beauty of my little area of the world. I so appreciate it. There are banana trees, red berry bushes, some holly, an orange tree that the birds are already beginning to peck on the oranges - I need to get a tent over it, a lemon tree - well, bush, a crepe myrtle, some native trees and and a native "green garden."

I am beginning to see some mutant wasps that are doing the job of pollinating. They are living in the walls of the house. I am torn between trying to destroy them and realizing that in regard to pollination - "someone (something) has got to do it." They have not been aggressive. Only one lone bee visited and fewer and fewer dragonflies appear each year. I have worms now - which is a great sign - it means the soil is improving.

Under the orange tree is what is left of my once magnificent gardenia bush.

I need more color - this winter I will do some research and find out what I should plant for color. When I first moved here I planted some flower beds in back, but they were completely obliterated while I was gone, and now I'm lucky to get anything out - I have in my mind, some rather romantic and sexy looking gardens - ah, we'll see what time brings. The red berry bush is spectacular in the winter. The holly just sort of sits there - boring.

I'll be gone starting day after tomorrow for about ten days. I dread the trip. I have always had trip anxiety - just a dread of leaving town - usually turns out great, and I don't let it stop me, its just uncomfortable.

Finally have my tickets straight - I think - I'm worried sick about leaving grandson - I guess ten days is better than two years - lots of paperwork hanging in the air along with suspense about will "H" be employed four months from now - will there be any hurricanes - will they remember to water the flowers - will I be able to get around and see everyone I should see out in Wyo? Can I get water, meds on plane ok? My daughter told me she had to pay $7.00 for a bottle of water at the airport - I can go without it on the way out - but coming back will be a 17 hour trip - next time I will drive, God willing....

So, gosh, what will you all do when I am not posting worry-worry stuff? Will stay in touch as I can.

The Aftermath

Grandson woke up early all excited about picking up the litter from the fireworks. ???? Well, he's a boy - boys, as a rule, are really into blowing things up. Fireworks is as close as they get until military duty (even then, statistics show over 115 soldiers in Iraq have committed suicide when confronted with the real thing, the heat and the horror of war.) But boys have played at war for centuries I would bet. Our generation had "cap guns" and produced very few serial killers, we played "Cowboys and Indians." Fireworks!

He and the neighbor kids have picked up the fireworks litter, I swept it off the walks and we're fairly tidy again. Even our social Ms. Meowi even went outside to the porch with us to watch the action. Considering that it is against city ordinances to explode fireworks in the city and county, we had quite a show in the neighborhood. It ended by midnight, nothing burned down, no injuries, no cars damaged that I know of, (except for older grandson's and my accident with my car door scrapping his mom's - I am going to have to do an emergency buff job before she picks her car up) - everything's cool.

I know I said in a comment, I hated fireworks. I do. But if ya got kids around - well, that would be like hating Christmas!

The big kids went home for the 4th, their dad came and got them. I enjoyed them so much. Ha, ex-SIL looked me up and down and said, "Wow, you lost the weight, you look gooooooood!" Yay, its starting to really show.

Made a huge potato salad and a chocolate cake frosted with orange flavored frosting, something I've done every 4th, except when in Wyoming since the 70's. Psycho then ate the top of half the cake out while we were at the beach. The cat is nuts about muffins, cake, any type of baked goods.

After lunch we went to the beach to meet future SIL's kids, grandkids, who left when we got there (coincidence???) after teasing Grandpa about not making it home for curfew. I still don't feel real good about this wedding. Because of age difference, because of his way of "handling" children, and some control issues I see. So far I have been right concerning all SIL's.

So that was the Fourth - now entering into the weekend - probably beach for me and boy, shaved ices, lazy days.

I take off for Wyoming on the 8th. Not enough clothes to have to worry about sorting to pack, they are pretty much ready to go. Getting on the plane and having tickets, airlines coordinated and making it to the next plane, and staying on track with eating, is what is concerning me. That and my mother's plans for me to work in her garage in 95 degree heat when I get there. I am used to air conditioning and she won't use it in the house because she's afraid her short haired dogs will "get cold." (Didn't used to need A/C in Wyoming - but climate has changed.)

Why is it, no matter, how old one is, visiting parents often ends up being stressful? Do I make my kids feel that way? Many times I go the opposite way and don't allow them to fulfill a responsibility. "Be there for major surgery?" "Heck no, you got those cruise tickets, just run along and give me no mind."

No wonder society tries to herd us off to nursing homes, LOL!

Wyoming friends are calling wanting me to stay with them while there - it will be hard to get around to everyone. If it weren't for the little boy, there is nothing tying me down - I could have stayed a month. Maybe next year if my back is good, I'll hop in the car and do that - take a road trip and stay where I may.

I have booked an appointment with a neurosurgeon here. Yike.

My Psycho Valentine

This is one of my "babies" - - he took a fancy to my African lace inna Zebra Chair.

OH, P.S. Happy Fourth of July, State-siders.

Oh, deys Eggplants!

Yup, these are backwards, but I have a feeling I have a big day ahead, so's I'm not going to rearrange them for the post. Aren't those eggplants beautiful?

It seems like the word, eggplant, will either make people gag, or say, "yum."

I love them - stuffed or in Eggplant Parmesan. I invented my own EP recipe - and threw in okra to make it southern and because I love okra. So, I made the sauce from scratch, poured it over the crisply browned eggplant which was rolled in egg and flour, put a slice of mozzarella on top, lightly sprinkled with Parmesan, melted the cheese over all, and served with hot pasta and garden veggies. Grandson thought it was scrumptious. Future SIL ate with no compliment - but he's not the complimenting kind - eating it, being he's also a sausage man, was compliment enough. No one else would touch it - not even with a "ten foot pole." But it was fun. I ate some. Afraid to weigh today after this weekend spree. I haven't touched the Krispie Kremes though - hey, they are now using "healthy fat" for the decadent things, or rather I should say no trans-fats, which are the killer kind.

Went to art party last night - and blew a dud again - I am so uninspired.

Perhaps have an appointment with Dr. Lovely today - I don't know - soon will make phone calls. Lots of paperwork to do, and the "kids" - are moving back in here until their house is built - oi - Grandson is lost in a summer of play with a neighbor boy - that is excellent, next year he will be twelve - nothing better in childhood than long, long days of summer play, bikes, sleepovers, cold watermelon on the front porch, late sleep in mornings . . . .

SIL-to-be informed me we were having his family for the 4th of July - oi, again! Well, he barbecues and I can start my famous potato salad early, and I also make a deep dark chocolate cake with orange frosting for the 4th. If they don't like a house that has only narrow paths in which to traverse, tough. Perhaps it will be good to have towering (I don't feel tall with the "boys" around) raucous relatives - they do stick together......

I'm asking my missionary friend to come translate to the south of the border cleaning ladies who do not speak English and attempt to get a work permit out of them. I am so pain-in-the-whompess fixated on doing things "right" - which usually gets me in more trouble than "overlooking" things that are on the edge or over the edge...ok, ok, ok, I guess maybe in the fall, I will look into learning some, at least, rudimentary Spanish...ya never know when you'll need it. What is it they say? "Don't fight progress?" (Or, the lack of...)

And, I am starting my trip to Nepal. I decided. Don't know when. But I wrote it down. It will happen. I'm making a "dream it into reality board." How will I explain a photo of Bruce Willis on a motorcycle to "H"? Oh well, I have pictures of gorgeous women I am gluing on as well - Candy and Stagg have inspired me - collage, here I come! The images - ? It is the concept - of being fit, active, looking good, happy, achieving far flung, even far-out dreams. Gonna do it. I went through a list recently while cleaning files that I wrote years and years ago - even seemingly impossible dreams have been achieved.........so why not?

Lazy Saturday Stress Reduction

We rousted ourselves out of bed early this am, Grandson and I, and headed for the open air fruit/plant/craft/art market that has become a success in downtown Martin Luther King Jr. park. Then I took him to a buffet breakfast where he snacked on raw spinach, lettuce, tomato, a huge piece of chocolate cake and water. I had an omelet, no cheese, but we'll see what damage that does - it felt heavy. Well, ok, confess, I ate a sausage too.

We purchased eggplant, string beans, yellow squash, cucumbers, a new creeping native ground cover plant, a bouquet of flowers (above) and a hand made leopard cat with a saucy personality. I am excited to make Eggplant Parmesan with spaghetti for dinner tonight and sides of steamed squash, string beans, and cold sliced cukes. A feast!

The red flower is a bloom from my hibiscus. It's glorious, yes?

Last, but not least, is an every day, several times a day occurrence....I bend over, my back catches and I drop a bunch of stuff. I just wait until someone comes by and picks it up, or I get on my knees late in the day and crawl around putting it away. It makes me want to cry. But, hey, I can crawl - what if it was a wheelchair!!! So, I can say I'm lucky I can get stuff picked up -

Hattigrace called me this a.m. and I felt really good about something I'd been pondering for a long time after talking with her. Will report on action taken when something starts to happen. Friends are better than diamonds or gold, any day. Also lots of encouraging comments to my last post...thanks, folks.

Happy Saturday................!