Art Block!

Time for another dark doll - a moroseness is trying to overtake me. (She is done with charcoal, and then a photo overlaying that. My grandma's bowls are in the painting, coffee makers from other countries, my favorite book, and a silver box representing promises.)

I've hid out from church today. The weather looks superb - its a balmy 66 degrees this a.m. Poor kitty I think is sick, she has just been lying in her bed since returning from boarding. Tomorrow will take her to the vet.

Sent my grandson's girlfriend some acrylic paints for her birthday - at least I can mentor her that much. She is talented.

I miss my "crew" today, deeply, painfully. I remember all the craft & painting projects with the grandkids. I check the calendar and make out my bills, "OH, when, oh, when can I go back to Florida?" My husband says, "Come on" but has always told me everything will be fine even when its definitely, obviously not. (That only fooled me a few times too many....sorry, honey.) I can't face looking for work again down there. Yoiks, even master's degree jobs advertise out at $24,000. I've almost paid off the awful dental bill he said he would pay off. No, I must keep on until out of debt, retirement income is set as high as possible, and then..........................I will go back and convert the dining room family is currently using for storage to my studio and daybed place.

Guess I'll go get out the oil paints and work on my innocuous bowl of artichokes...somehow I am stuck in art, can't get to it, when I do its fairly uninspired and I feel blah about that too and hate it! Husband knows these art moods - nervous discontendedness, the start of the painting - "Wow its gorgeous, then the middle "it looks like crap," the struggle to finish, and then "hey, it looks purty good!" Well, here goes, I am going to absolutely tank up on caffeine, find some inspiring music and pull out the paint cart! AND, I'm proud of being a masterful colorist - I will produce an awesome bowl of art-i-chokes. The adrenaline will pump, the endorphines too from creating, and I'll be a new person by this afternoon.

Woo hoo.