Living with Kitty and View from my Picture Window

The piccy's are uploading now in html. Never seen THAT before. The dust bowl is a picture of the new trailer court across the street. For only $1,000 a month, one can live in the dirt in a new trailer.

Now, my trailer, yah, MINE, (I hope)to be is in green green grass, with a paved road, fence, studio in back, and storage with a little patio in a nice street with a cul-de-sac. Currently I live off of a highway -noisy, dirty.

I still haven't heard anything yet on the loan, but I got a counter offer and I'm trying another counter offer. I wanted him to fix the broke things. He doesn't want to. It will cost me to fix broke things, as I am no spring chickie, I can't crawl on top of mobile home, I can't crawl under crawl space. He's let the place go and it needs some work.

Today the long distance went out, and the cell phones, as well as the internet. I wondered if it was terrorism. But now things are back on, maybe it will hold tomorrow and I can get calls out to find out where I stand.

Been crying off and on today, don't know why - maybe because if I buy this place, it will be one more step toward permanency and one more step away from where my heart is yearning to be. Oh, if you are young and reading this, start planning for your retirement NOW!

Top (pic) Kitty is magnificent - but what an odd ball personality - guess when I think about it, I've never met a cat that wasn't an odd ball. My Florida Meowi is my favorite, he's a sweet heart. I miss him too. He's a little, only a wee, neurotic and I was afraid a car ride cross country would really mess him up forever. Black kitty is a big big cat - and pushy. Will eat all the time, anything and everything, including watermelon, avacodos, soy milk, shrimp, spaghetti - and on and on. I have to limit her or she gets sick. When she's limited, she's real pushy. A pushy cat.

Me Mum & Me

What is it with blogspot's picture upload? First I got 6 of the photos, now it won't upload at all.

It rained tonight. I am so thankful. This 90 degree apartment was making me wilt. I don't do well, unless I'm air conditioned.

Returned a while ago from visiting my mother this weekend. I did not want to go - I was having major freakout on Saturday morning.

No one would ever know I freak out because I appear so calm. But I had been through a week of server breakdown followed by four of our desktops, (spygate), followed by a top notch employee that moved on to more money. I couldn't find my keys, I was thinking of all the things I needed to do, like start packing and, well, gas is getting expensive! And I had (have) bills to pay. always a two to three hour ordeal for me.

The litter boxes were beyond foul and it was so hot I was afraid I would be reported for pet abuse if I went off and left Cat.

Anyway, I hid my underwear and bills and headed down the road.

Dinner this time: China Man's. More dread. Pleasant surprise - SUSHI, and CRAB LEGS....and a very excellent buffet. Of course I concentrated on the crab legs, don't get those fellas often in Wyoming. Just me & her. She was tickled I was pigging out because I don't eat much when we are at the "Hometown Buffet." We placed our purses in the chairs and hit the buffet. This really scares me, I am learning the ways of the 2nd phase of elderly. Please someone, if I post a piccy of myself with a perm and one inch short hair, send an assasin.

While we are eating, she wants me to go with her to the Dog Cemetery where she has about 20 of the little (and big) fellers R.I.P., and she wants me to chop the weeds out of the cemetery. It is only 101 degrees outside and I beg off until fall. But I feel guilty; she takes me out to dinner everytime I come over - seems like the least I could do. But just didn't want to risk a heart attack or heat stroke, especially so dog-gone close to a cemetery.

Always when I leave, she tries to give me "stuff." "No, mother, I don't want a case of toilet paper, I think I will be moving soon." No, thanks, I don't need all that Diet Pepsi, I'm off the stuff. She stuffs it in my box anyway. Lots of peaches, and yellow squash - let me tell you, if there is ever a national disaster, her house is the place to head to.

Tagged

Ok, 5 things in my freezer:

1. Okra
2. Hake
3. Waffles
4. Berries
5. Ice cubes


5 things in my closet

1. lots of bags, I'm a real bag freak - a bag lady
2. my bills, under a suitcase where I hide them from the landlord
3. my underwear, in a suitcase where I hide them from the landlord
4. my clothes
5. my purses

5 things in my car (oh boy)

1. Change
2. CD's
3. A Taco John's Bag
4. Cemetery Flowers I've been hauling around since Memorial Day
5. Hardware = a screwdriver, other tools, and an emergency kit

5 things in my purse/wallet

1. Lots of receipts
2. Lots of pens, pencils
3. Checkbooks
4. Lipstick
5. Broken plastic silverware.........and much, much more

Ok, Blogger friends, now you are tagged!!!!!!!

Luckiest, most blessed mom in the World

This piccy looks a bit stark and lonely - like me.

I wrote a long letter via email to my youngest last night, I was so lonely for them.

This came back to me from my daughter in response to a letter telling her I might be out here two years longer than I planned:

I love you and miss you with all my heart. I know Sagie misses you very much too. But we want what is best for you. You have spent your whole life taking care of us now it's time to care for yourself. Whenever I get to missing you so bad, I tell myself that I am being selfish. Others have lost a parent forever. I am lucky because I can still talk to you, you are still a big part of our lives (just a little further away). I am proud of you for taking initiative towards building a future. It saddens me so much to see elderly patients in the hospital that have nothing. Some of them are in such bad shape financially that they can't afford their meds and end up in the hospital over and over again. Don't worry about disappointing Sage. He is super lucky that you guys were able to have such a close relationship for so long and will again. Some grandkids don't have the opportunity to have such a relationship. We love you so much and will support you 100% in whatever you decide.

With much love and adoration,

Isn't that the best! I love 'em sooooooooooooo much.

Mi Casa or La Casa?

Hmm, posting seemed to bring the blog back. Wonder what that was all about. Found a mobile home on its own lot. It's older, not much room in one bedroom, the other is fine. Closet space at a minimum. It has a neat little studio in the back in which to do art work should I find the time, could even put a kiln there! It has green grass around it, lotsa room for flowers, a single car garage on the side.

Smells like pot now, but surely that can be scrubbed away????? It made my head woozy - I can not only smell drugs, but can "sense" them....being around just the scent always makes me woozy and wacked, I can tell when a person is doing drugs just by walking by them. It spooks people out. Ya think I'm nuts? This has proved out! Years ago when friends were experimenting, it would make them mad because I always knew. Not that I didn't have an experiment or two of my own many many years ago, growing up in the hippy era.

(Did I ever tell you about hitchhiking from Baltimore to the East Village in New York? No? Well I probably won't either.)

Perhaps a good praying over the place and days of good Christian music.....an ionizer.....would help.....good kitchen room for cooking - heating costs are a little scary, but I freeze myself up here trying to save money, unknown factor. No one would be stealing my underwear and I would have PRIVACY, yeh! I've been groaning about this place for two years now, but now I'm scared.....

Kitty could play about the yard - the studio has a "cat door" on the side of it.

I see about the financing at noon today. Guess I better hold off the "scared" until I know if I can even get money!

Phone is working, I made the company switch back to my old phone although I had to go through two support techs before one agreed and now it is ringing, taking messages, and seems to be fine. The one that I got through the insurance company for $50.00 was a piece of >>>>>> ya know.

test

my blog is down my blog is down my blog is down

Metaphor

"Ever since the house burned down, I see the moon more clearly."

Getaway

After an extremely stressful week, I decided to "get away." Drove to Saratoga to get a spa pedicure and have a peaceful lunch. Little did I know, as I left my cell phone at work Friday night, how upset the people in my life would be if I had 18 hours of respite from ringing phones. Wow! My mother had even called my boss and lots of people were "on my trail!"

Anyway, oblivious to the chaos caused by my short absence, lunch at this little place on the river was relaxing, the pedicure that I had been wanting to get with my gift certificate for 6 months was timely and wonderful. I wandered through a couple of art galleries, took some photos and was supremely happy for about 3 hours.

The Sagebrush was in bloom and gorgeous and I got in the mood to paint. But when I returned home it was either paint, or try to return calls and soothe ruffled feathers. Why am I such a "people pleaser?" Uhhmmm, oh yah, training. I have spent a good deal of time in therapy over the years trying to overcome that!

On down the river, tuber after tuber passed by. I wished I could get in with the "tubers" and the ducks and float away for a year and a day - "to the land where the bong trees grow" - how many of you know the Owl and the Pussycat poem?

"The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea-green boat. They took some honey and plenty of money wrapped up in a five-pound note."

Where do you find poetry like that nowadays?

Not exactly the Owl and the Pussycat here, but doesn't this look like a hoot? These young men were climbing back aboard after jumping the fence to the restaurant patio and ordering lunch.

This is a little different than lunch on the Gulf where the yachts are docked.

Then I saw miles of snow fence. Newcomers to Wyoming, and there are plenty of them, are dumbfounded by miles and miles of what looks like stadiums for prairie dogs or small antelope.

These fences collect snow and the theory is - that keeps the roads more clear of drifts in the winter.

That's all folks.....going to paint, though its hard to paint in 90 degree weather. Phone hasn't rang once. Folks must still be ticked off.

Oooops no snowfence - well blogspot seems to have trouble putting up photos for several weeks now, guess I was lucky to get three up.

Going to clean up kitchen - a cooler fan seems to have leaked several gallons of water across the floor. Then paint???? Bye.

Groundhog Day

These little folks are not really ground hogs - something out here known as "Prairie Dogs." (Pup, I know you will have really cool names for these guys, gals? too!) I think they are cute. Some people don't like 'em. They shoot 'em or drop bubble gum down their tunnels into their homes (boundary issues - I think so!) (The bubble gum is eaten by the little fellows and it blows up in their tummies and they can't poo and they die a slow agonizing death.) What some people do for fun.

Anyway, back on the subject. Why do I think life is like the movie, "Ground Hog Day?" Ummm, I can't remember.....

Ah, doing the same day over and over and over again. I guess I've had two many deja vu's lately. And I need a vacation back to Florida again. Already.

I used to like doing personnel - but we had to dismiss someone the other day. It was a rough go, and I felt bad, really bad, although the person did deserve it. We aren't in the business of rehab for various compulsive issues, but in the business of running a business without getting lawsuits from offended people. And it wasn't my decision. But the "confidentiality," the high emotions on both sides, the meetings to "decide what to do," all bought me back to my days working in personnel at the City. Sigh. I just wanna go home and be a Nana.

I want to be a housecleaner, a cook, a "nan," a chauffer, a flower garden cultivator. A volunteer at Church. A sewer of wonderful things, a painter of wonderful pictures, and a sculptress of wonderful sculptures. I want to be in my family's life, chaotic as it may be.

Oh yes, I am counting down the days.....business world, bye bye.

San Jose

Typical Tico Breakfast

From the roof top of the Hotel of the Angels....

Looking out of my "Angels" room

"Round the corner in the Courtyard."

Costa Rica

It calls - the mists of rain, the lush, the bodacious, flamboyant colors of nature, food fresh from untainted grounds, calls of birds in the rainforest, the beach with attentive young men who bring drinks with hibiscus flowers gracing the glass and who move the umbrella to keep the worst of the sun at bay. Sand, the sound of the Pacific, mangos plucked from the ground where they fall from trees to be taken home, sliced and eaten with lime and salt.

Oh, sigh.......................

PT Cruiser Club

Yeh! Let's start a club. Here is my little Cruiser with my boss, an elected official. (She wanted me to drive her in the parade in the Cruiser.)

So, of course, I think Hattigrace has the coolest of taste! And a convert to top off the coolness of her Cruiser! Ohhhhhhhhh, what a car. Congrats Hattigrace! My sister owns a dapper Taupe Cruiser. I think when my husband's truck drops, I will make him buy one.

The only thing about my Cruiser is - I traded her in. (Oh, sob, more loss.) The Cruiser, not the boss. But she's still my true love. ..the Cruiser. Boy they can haul a lot of stuff! And move into ANY parking space. And go fast! Yes, I got two speeding tickets right after moving to Wyoming. Considering that Haliburtons (big truckers hauling oil & inflammables at 90 mph) leave me in the dust, I began to wonder if drugs were smuggled in Cruisers - why was I getting picked up so much while others roared on at much higher speeds? I was picked up once for 7 miles over the speed limit????? AND ticketed! Could it be the Cruiser? Jealousy? But later time proved out that I am a cop magnet.

I miss her, the Cruiser - she had a malady, a limp, no one could fix, then I had the transmission serviced and I think, but can't prove, that they forgot to put the fluid back in. She froze! Couldn't budge her. After two attempts and several hundreds of dollars, the garage said they had "fixed" her, but she was sick AND limping after that until I said goodbye. Never knew when I would get in her and her transmission would be frozen tight and I could not move her. (She wasn't new when I bought her, and I think she may have been an abused child to begin with, as Cruisers are infamous for being PERFECT.) Getting stalled in the middle of nowhere in snow and below zero weather in Wyoming where cell phones don't work outside of town was not my cup of tea.

I felt bad, as bad as if I had euthanized a pet that consistantly pooped in the carpet and the bed. Didn't mean I didn't love it, just meant I didn't like stepping in and sleeping in poop.

The Buick Lacross - well, it was a heck of a deal, fantastic financing, a demo, but not my style of auto. Old fogies that hang out at the Elks' club drive Buicks out here. Anyway, I got picked up right away in that one. The cop blinded me with his lights as I nudged into the curb. He got out, and shone a flashlight right into my face. Intimidating silence. "Is it against the law to go slow?" I asked. (After two speeding tickets, I'm rather poking along these days.) "You didn't dim your lights quick enough, that's a sign of being drunk, get out of the car." "Officer, I am just going home from a 12 hour Commissioners' meeting, and really, Officer, we were not drinking, you can call ______ and ask." (____________ is also the Assistant Chief of Police as well as County Commissioner. )

Ya'll know what my Commissioner meetings are like, its a wonder I hadn't downed a big bowl of margueritas after the meeting before heading home. Today at a meeting, I was told by one of the Commissioners that I only needed the abilities of a trash collector to do my job, while the other one snickered away. Boy those guys know how to build morale! Thank the good Lord I am making enough money that I can laugh all the way to the bank. Elections are coming. I DO NOT forget!

The copper continued to scold me because I could've made that poor semi-truck wreck. Well, as I said, I'm 6'2" and as I got out of the car, I swayed because I do not do well with heights, mine, or nature's or man-made and because I am clumsy and last, but not least, I was exhausted.

Copper got up real close to me on his tip-toes, I knew he was sniffing. I was starting to come up on a real rebellious attitude, same one that overcame me after being tortured by the TSA. I was to the point of almost daring the dodo to take me to jail. I would call the ACLU from there. Grandmas of the world, unite against discrimination! Anyway, my name dropping was advantageous, so I did not have to go to the Station for an intoxication test.

What is going on in this country? Are old ladies selling drugs or transporting explosives to make their prescription deductibles or for shots of Botox? Do I look like a vulnerable old lady that can be easily hassled? For what? Cookies? The tail-end of my iced Chai? Maybe sitting down I do. WRONG!

Working the River

Ducks know how to work a river. I did duck watching last weekend. They float, either leisurely or a bit more seriously when looking for food. They know how to work the current, how to flow with it. They stay cool in the summer heat and, by nature of the oil in their bodies and unique feathers, they stay relatively dry as they paddle or float about their environment. They hang around together. They have a weakness for an easy meal as they gather about people hoping for a potato chip or a handout of some kind. They can navigate land well enough to do what they want to do. And, most can fly long distances and even move cross country if they get it in their head to do so.

I think the ducks gave me a lesson in life.

Looking for a home today, to get away from apartment life - the noise, the snooping, the washing of the money down the drain with nothing to show for it when it is time to go. The freedom to keep my windows open if I want, to have a cat or dog or rat or bird, and a flower garden. Or all of these. We'll see what the bank says Monday.

Now, going to fix my hair, iron some clothes, and go to the Governor's dinner and auction. Oh dear. Politics year. I watched Joe Biden on TV last night and had to laugh - are those false teeth or lumieniers? He can work a crowd. Then watched our highest leader speak on TV, has he developed a speech impediment? Ooooh, the lady reporter got a nipping at the ankles. (Hmmm, after this roundup (I believe a harvest from governmental internet snooping) of terrorists, perhaps I don't mind so much being hassled at aiports - oh YES I DO!) But I'm starting to get really p_____ off at terrorists.

Then too, the anniversary of the attacks in London was yesterday.

Yeh. Weekend is here. I like it.

The River

Thursday is prayer group day. A small but powerful number of us get together and call upon God for His wisdom, His kingdom, and just ask Him for His love to come down and surround us. There are times we feel His presence so powerfully, tears flow and we want to stay forever.

I've found myself wondering where we (humankind) are going with N. Korea thumbing its nose at civility and acting like a bully to the world. I've found myself in fear for all that I've known to be blown to smithereens and what would happen to my grandkids and kids? What will happen to me sitting out here on top of oil, coal, uranium, gas, with unbelievable inflation where a modest two bedroom apt. or trailer in the middle of the dirt costs a $1,000 a month?

In our group, we've received visions individually that we share with one other, hopefully with our limited human knowledge to try to figure out what is happening in the world, in our lives. We've seen rivers, rapid growth, acceleration. I've cursed the wind here, the wind that howls, the wind that blows dirt in your face and house, the wind that cuts, the wind that ruins hair and drys skin like a prune. A pastor gave me a prophetic word not to curse the wind because God is moving in it - moving for change. I still fall back and curse the wind.

Again today, I saw a fast moving river with a headwater where a person stood waiting. In addition, two huge angels stood to either side of the headwater and there was a lever on one side, much like that of a carnival ride. One angel was waiting for instruction to push the lever to start the action that would open the headwater and release the person into the river. The person in the headwater was nervous, somewhat fearful of the "ride" down the river. The word was to pray for courage and willingness to ride the water.

More "words" come in from prophetic websites, "words" from here and there, sermons, books saying that the world, and all that is in it, is changing and changing at an accelerated rate. What does it all mean? I don't know. But in the midst of the mighty blowing wind of change I see angels moving very fast back and forth on the currents of the wind. What are they attending to with such urgency?

We will see...I remember several years ago praying everyday for nine months, "Oh, Lord, bless me indeed, enlarge my territory....," etc. You remember the "Jabez prayer?" I lost my good paying job...down, down the river I plummeted in pain, "failure," and fear, somehow right into art school - a lifelong "wish" and dream. I didn't know how I would pay for it, how I would make it through because I had to work. And I'm "no spring chicken." God took me from semester to semester. It was hard. It was fun. And I learned God knows where He's going and we're going.

Then just at the finish of school, this position opens up out here in this vacant, windswept land. I undertook one of the most difficult journeys of my life. I don't know where I'm going next - maybe home, home to my babies. I just know that sometimes God does not tell us where that river is going because if we could see the rapids on the way to the destination we would jump out and not end up at the place He wants us to be, and His kingdom plans for us would be short circuited.

I want his best, even if it means not feeling so good for a while. I pray, "Dear God, don't leave me behind!"

And I'm not so good on waiting on His timing for the trip or the end of the trip.

Holiday Blues

Back to howlin' about being homesick again. Happens everytime there is a holiday and I'm not home to be with my family.

"At my door the leaves are fallen' - a cold, wild wind is blowin'." "Sweethearts walk by together, and I still miss someone."

Don't know who wrote it, Joan Baez sang it as well as Johnnie Cash -

but here's to my family this 4th of July 2006 without you..........nothing to do but be blue for you.