I went shopping today, I hate shopping. Used to love it. Even when I didn't have any money to spend. Didn't have that much today, but looking decent in clothes caused me to go unwisely, even for a sale, a bit bonkers - I needed something for a funeral and a "meet the family" dinner besides the clothes I garden or exercise in - but didn't want to get any mid weight loss clothes. But did. I bought two outfits. I like them. No, I love them. But I am having what marketers call "buyer's regret." Oh, well, stop with the negative - I will have all I need when I need it if I don't start getting way negative and a couple of outfits will not change the way the universe spins.
So much of what goes on in the today grows from roots of yesterday, doesn't it? Here, a step dad who was too stingy (fear, in his roots?) to buy clothing for his kids, a mother who did her best, but hid the clothing to pay the dues later, and what did I do? What I was taught, married someone who hates me buying any thing, even with my own earnings, especially clothes and flowers for my garden. But then if you are with someone who will not communicate, one really doesn't know for sure what they are mad about, so perhaps there has been a lot of unhealthy assuming.
Very unhealthy, mind you . . . but YES, I hid them. But this time for the funeral, he said "get an outfit." Errrrrrrk - he did not say two outfits. But wait a minute - wasn't half that tax return mine? ...and here we go....jeez....get healthy, self, will you, already?
Maybe will post a pic next week or whenever I can get back to the 'puter and quit feeling guilty that I bought two.
What makes the above sort of funny for me, is that in marketing class, my professor covered the very process almost down to the exact process above. He and I used to have a good laugh over my buying stories, it was so entertaining for me to find out this "syndrome" is documented as part of a marketing course.
Speaking of weight loss - am really stuck. Beeeeeg plateau. Doc prescribed that wonderful pill that helps so much with pain and my feet felt weird last night - I looked down and they looked like corpse feet. Or eggplants. They were purple, red, and SWOLLEN! Called the doc and he ordered me in for visit today. Nothing serious. We don't think anyway. So gave me water pills. Suspense - will that break the platt toe?
Did I mention the pills make me goofy and I can't remember my name?
11 comments:
You know I dont buy myself new things to often but when I do I sometimes feel guilty. The girls need new summer shoes and such. They could use some new summer clothes too but we will get there. Its just that now I am looking at going back to work I dont want to go over board with spending.
I figured out my buying clothing issues were all tied up around self-esteem issues. When you live with someone that trains you to believe that you do not deserve anything (even the basic things in life) then you feel guilty when you get them. Learned responses. Break the cycle. Value yourself as an individual, made in His image and worthy of good things.
Yes, dress for the spirit not for the mind...then it won't feel so guilty shopping.
It's not bad to look good and feel like you are wearing something attractive...it's in every culture all around the world. Only in North America did we have this phase of contemporary times feeling guilty about dressing for our tribe. Other cultures adorn themselves with clothes and meaningful objects. It's part of being a human.
It is much more unusual that in contemporary industrial societies that men don't wear make up...in other societies men adorn themselves with neck laces beads make up...sometimes other cultures practice "cosmetic surgery"...like rings that extend their ear lobes or length of neck.
I bet you look gorgeous and I am sorry it's for a funeral but I hope you bought sassy funeral clothes YOU VIXEN!
Don't forget you are a vixen my love!
A vixen I will be - or die trying.
Sis, maybe it is tied up with self-esteem! I am scared though, because I am starting to like the eyebrows shaped, the mustache gone, and an appearance of a waistline. Oh the smile on Dr. Lovely's face - said I look totally different than when I came in - I tried not to drool and to act cool instead. I'm just grateful for feeling better.
I want to cook him vegetarian food and paint him as an angel because of his fine bone structure and piercing blue eyes.....
Tweety, I bought the boy a few summer things - although its still a tad cool for shorts.....and you are right, its time to use wisdom and not go overboard but to spend wisely until we get some indication of where this crazy economy is going......
Candy, yes, it is probably our North American culture. I am following the intriguing stories about the polygamists.....aol featured one about the women having all the same hair style and clothing and what that might signify.
Oh I forgot the feet!! Regressing to another life....... Wow, I would have freaked out...elevate feet..call doc about those feet, means blood not returning and not carrying away stuff from feets. And speaking of feet, I distinctly remember mum's closet full full of shoes, high heeled shoes, stacks and stacks of them. Must have saved a little using that powdered milk, huh!
See..we all spend on things we shouldn't..(books, wine, tatoos, toys, cigarettes, starbuck's) but being properly dressed is important for the mind and the body. Please call doc about the feet..
Did call doc about feet - sadly 'twas the Lyrica, we are sure. Some water pills and a couple of days later, I'm fine. Doc Lovely adjusted some stuff and I woke up not in pain today and so far so good - amazing what our hormones can do to us - and for us -
there were no blood clots - no heart problems -
I forgot about all the shoes - there are still clothes in the closet there with the tags still on.....come to think of it.
Remember going to work when returning to Rawlins. I wore one of "H's" suit coats one day - hey, it was probably weird, but I thought it looked nice - boy did he have a hissy.....LOL....I did what I always did - - sewed up a couple pairs of paints and two shirts - - -
"J's" new beau is spending like crazy - it's either a "bring 'em in" ploy - or he really is something else. We'll see. Wouldn't it be nice if he's the real thing?
Let us pray Sisty, let's us pray.
I hate buying clothes, I never buy any unless I absolutely have to. Plus, with all the walking I have been doing I have gone down 2 sizes and I don't fit in anything properly -NOT funny.
Vicky is right when she says
"I figured out my buying clothing issues were all tied up around self-esteem issues. "
That's a generalisation but it is very true in my case. Perhaps because I have always hated my body, I always think of clothes simply as I way to cover it up, not as a pleasure -which is weird, considering that I am mad about textiles.
Ah yes I forgot to tell you: I think your name is Gardenia, at least that's what your cats told me.
Milla, I am glad I am not the only person who speaks to cats, and more yet - hears what they are saying. :)
Post a Comment