The Season of the Clutz

Americans have a saying - if we keep having accidents, we're "clutzy." My accident log for the last month:

1. After dark, fall down in street by car door. Struggle to get up, leg won't work. Grandson, who is with me - freaking and trying to stand in front of traffic and stop vehicles bearing down in same lane where I lie, struggling to get up. Assign him duty to stand on sidewalk, turn on cell phone and flash light at traffic. Gives him something to do and keeps him from getting run over, better me than him! Finally crawl around car to curb. I don't understand why someone doesn't pull over and help an ol' lady up.

Two days later I read in the paper, an older than me woman, was hit by a car in the same area, and dragged for some time and left in a parking lot to die. She lived, but isn't in very good shape.

2. Grab pan on stove with bare hand. Thumb burned. Is at the point all the skin has peeled off and it's icky. Now I have to wait until healed in order to draw again.

3. Pull cookies out of oven and scrape arm along top rack of 375 degree oven. Wound similar to photo above.

4. Drop heavy can on foot, split big toe open. Drive 3 hours looking for a doctor who will see me. My own physician's chant, "Go to Walk-in Clinic" or "Go to ER." ER costs $150 to cross their threshold. Walk-in Clinic made the lst step in medical mistake that nearly cost me my life, then risk department harrassed me for some time after mistake was discovered, very intimidating (guess they thought I might sue - not, was too busy trying to live), so I definitely will not go there again, EVER.

Then, even with insurance, they want $$$$$ up front before they will see you.

After the third clinic turned me away, I was about to go home and just put foot in plastic bag to catch blood, and hope it stopped eventually, when fourth clinic I walked into said they would take me in. After about 4 hours. They glued my toe shut - this is a new process to me - after insisting that I have xrays. A side note, apparently the man who invented flesh glue, also invented Super Glue. So the nurse tells me.

The reason the other doctors would not take me, they tell me, is that they did not have xray equipment.

Seems like the "new medicine" people will not just sew up a wound - first, must x-ray. If broken bone, then refer to orthopedist for more xray and outpatient surgery. Being conspiracy minded, I suspect it is all a play for money. I have been sewed up many a time, and merrily gone my way to heal up just fine. But this is 2009. This is today. The day of the super germ and massive infections so, they say, these procedures. I have a flash back to when "H" had hand surgery and ended up off work for months as he acquired a hospital staph infection.

"Just sew the thing up, already," I impatiently say.

It's not broken, they "think" after they read the xray. So they glue it shut.

During that time, we have been gone from home for seven hours looking for medical care, and then waiting in the clinic, so we are hungry. "H" has gone out for sushi and brings it back to clinic. Hey, pretty strange as we eat sushi in the doctor's office while people are coughing and hacking over our shoulders. Flu season is in full swing. I see an older couple that is requesting a vaccine, being turned away as the clinic does not have any flu vaccine.

Soooo - Finally, we leave, go to pick up grandson as youngest daughter is at doctor, herself. We go home, I prepare a salad for supper before obeying instructions to stay off foot. After supper, finally fall asleep, wake up at 1:30 a.m., and covering they put on foot is lost in bed, the tape splint has adhered to the wound and directions specifically state, DO NOT PUT TAPE OVER WOUND ADHESIVE. OK, now what.

At least I also got a prescription for the burns as they notice the arm and tell me the arm will soon start sloughing skin, and I should have a prescription for it. Ok, thank you, I tell them.

"H" takes me home, I am apologizing because I know he has little patience with anything to do with medical and we had planned a day of fun, not this. Especially a day that is wearing on into ten hours in traffic and clinics. He swears he's ok, but I notice he is getting grumpier and grumpier. It's his only day off this week. I am mad at myself again for not being perfect. Oi, far from it.

The sore places from the fall have healed. I just began to exercise again today. Now I am down again for three days. I will miss our drawing session tomorrow....

My Maggie (daughter) was rear-ended yesterday at a stop-light and they discovered several bulging discs in her neck. She is discouraged.

I just pray October gets over with soon.