The 60's - 70's and Men

Shouldn't do this - but as Manic Street Preacher says - tonight I am knackered. And I'm walking down memory lane to the tune of music from the Pandora on line radio station.

Willie Nelson wrote a song to to all the women I've ever loved - - - here's to the men....some of them....whom I've thought I loved.

Sarge McClintock - I found him on Facebook tonight. I thought I loved him. A disc jockey extraordinaire of the 60's - wondered what ever happened to Sarge - we were all into protest back then - he drank so much and look at him in the photo - must have been taken a few years ago.

He worked for the radio station where I was Miss KATI Icecycle. Which meant I had to walk around the mall in the winter in a bikini and five inch heals.....and a banner on the front of my bikini and have my picture taken - KATI!

Then, oh my gosh, Steve, a real screwball who asked me out and wanted me to become a stripper in Denver! I dumped him. Fine aspiration. Needless to say sometimes I wasn't too picky about my dating - but then I was rather naive as well.

The soldier from Mississippi I met in a Las Vegas night club that wanted to marry me - he lost his leg in the service . . . our worlds were too far apart - I really didn't mind he was handicapped, but so far apart....

Then, the music teacher in high school that had contacts in New York and called my parents in to talk about a career for me in the Rockettes - well, I sure was excited, a hidden dream of mine was to become a dancer. I don't know what happened - I never heard anymore about it. Why did he do that?

The night club outside of town - with steaks and dancing and lots of drinks - such a small dance floor - but in an isolated place, surrounded by pine trees and regulars...the Goose Egg Inn. What men were there - ah, Terry, Bill - and Bill's brother from Memphis (tall men who danced like a dreaming). I was married to Terry for two years and he fathered my son. He is an artist - I think still alive. I don't know. I'm angry at him, my son needed a father, and he ran.

The 60's dragged on into Iowa - and Faber - the crazy Irishman who carried me on his back from bar to bar - man, that guy was fun crazy. Asked me to marry him, but then I decided he was too fun crazy for marriage material. Faber is dead. I didn't cry. Then Mike, the guy I did marry who drove his truck down the road and I barely saw him - and I finally packed my little kids up and left him.

Before that, there were the boys, no, men, all supposedly "family" men at the insurance company in Baltimore - all but one were hustling me in some way - or maybe wistfully wishing, who knows, I was always so tall - they didn't make panty hose back then, so my garter and nylons peeking out from under my pencil skirts - - one took me for martinis on Wednesdays after work, but was very proper. What did a 40 year old man have in common with a 20 year old? I don't know. And then the other guy who gave me rides to work and slept with me once - Milt. Another, a crazy chiropractor who dated a stipper - where was I in the lineup? The middle eastern men who stalked me in Baltimore......the Pakistani I married before going to Baltimore who left for his home country three days after the marriage....and I later found out he had a wife and eight children in Pakistan.......An Iranian student who wanted to marry me in Baltimore, but didn't know how to break it to his father back in Iran....told ya'll I was a middle eastern man magnet....

Then - Alvin - the Indian who brought me into his world where I almost became lost - I will never forget the smell of woodsmoke, the taste of pork and corn over an open fire, and Indian bread . . . his skin smelled of smoke.....

Mike in Baltimore - the artist who broke my heart - and whose sculptured pieces of jewelry I still wear....

Jim in the 70's in Rawlins, who was my protector - who loved me from afar - got me a good job -and with whom I worked hand in hand for many years......

Mike, my soul friend for so many years in the 70's, I loved him, but nothing improper there . . . except perhaps he depended on me too much.......

Lonnie, who called me, stricken with cancer - a youthful sweet friend and sweetheart who apologized for taking advantage - we were Jr. High sweethearts - all I could do in the future time was to love him because he needed peace for the end - - - I have my suspicions that he killed himself rather than face the debilitation of cancer.....

Then men who were stuck in my skin like porky pine quills = = - that i have a long time since shedded.

I met God somewhere along the line - He reigned me in, he made me HIS lover - and men have dropped by the wayside - still some times I remember - maybe I shouldn't.

I have always been a wanderer - I will never know what or who tomorrow will bring to me.

Shocked - well, yes! I am a bit myself. Perhaps tomorrow, sober, I will delete this! I don't know.