Good gosh - here I sit. Blogging. My house is a wreck. A cat has puked on the carpet in front of the doorway. I should iron some clothes. Thanksgiving is a few days away and no one has purchased any groceries so I won't have to do it all right before Thanksgiving. I checked my bank account and the balance is minus 0 so I must wait for the groceries, I am sort of starting to panic. The kitchen table and kitchen is still piled with mail, toys, boxes of what I don't know. Where is the energy of yore? Whose stupid idea was it to host Thanksgiving? Oh, yeh, mine. Sheepish grin.
Perhaps Tuesday I can get my daughter to take me to the store. "H" - well ya get what ya get when he goes. I was in the middle of making green chili and sent him to the store for a jar of tomatillo sauce - what he bought me home was three cans of enchilada sauce. I would have been resigned but instead got angry when he insisted I wrote down E-N-C-H-I-L-A-D-A sauce. My memory is not good, but there is a world of difference between the two sauces..........well, anyway today I'm going to do the enchiladas. And I should quit getting mad when he does these guy things.
What is it about holidays that bring out the dysfunctionalities in families? I think maybe this year I'm going to do a lot of self-speak and just treasure the fact I have a family!
Missing grandma who insisted on dinner with the whole turkey sitting on the table at 12 noon sharp! She didn't like anyone drinking alcohol at dinner either - later after all these years, I found out we have alcoholics on her side of the family - boy that was kept hush hush. Now I know why my son had such difficulties. To this day, we all dutifully pretend we are abstainers of alcohol at Thanksgiving dinner. No elegant glasses of wine. But its ok. (I can drink mine while I cook - it takes away the pain, tee hee.) Anyway, she had a great time at these dinners. And she was our dear "big" grandma. Missing my son and the special dishes he liked, and my stepdad - but I think they know I am thinking of them. We all bring ourselves to the table, all of ourselves - and I pray that instead of impatience, I bring patience. Instead of criticism, I bring praise and an eye for all the beauty they are, instead of exhaustion - energy, instead of tenseness - relaxed love.
Then I have to have a tooth extracted Monday morning so I won't be able to eat. I'm starting to get nervous just because dentists freak me out, although this guy sounds very painless and with the new topical anesthetics you can't feel the shots. It is a previously root canaled tooth that had the root crack after the canal, perhaps I should save it - could I get the $1,000 back that I payed for it on Ebay maybe? Sorry - sick joke.
A patient assaulted "J" last night at the hospital. One of the nurses might have a broken rib, "J"'s wrist is cut and others have bruises. Open heart patient, very old, but feisty. Poor thing - I wish she could get out of the hospital. It's very hard.
Well, I need to get off my butt and move it out - swing into action - get the boy away from the TV. Plan some nutritious food for him today - he's eating some abomination of processed food right now for breakfast, and just came by and hugged me wanting to know what a kid had to do to "get some ice cream around here." Need to clean up that cat puke, roll up my bed, get boy to put away toys, and clean the kitchen out, find the tablecloth from Albania - etc., etc., etc., etc.
Have a nice weekend everyone.
