Friday, April 25, 2008

All in a Day's Time


Come on, already, I said I want in!


Scream louder and pick on the screen with your claws, that'll bring her for sure.


Back in Mobile again.


'Shroom garden



The pretty Gerberas


Grape tomatoes - won't be long now.


Pink rose hiding in non-blooming Day Lillies


Big Meowie ready for bed.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Buyers' Regret



I went shopping today, I hate shopping. Used to love it. Even when I didn't have any money to spend. Didn't have that much today, but looking decent in clothes caused me to go unwisely, even for a sale, a bit bonkers - I needed something for a funeral and a "meet the family" dinner besides the clothes I garden or exercise in - but didn't want to get any mid weight loss clothes. But did. I bought two outfits. I like them. No, I love them. But I am having what marketers call "buyer's regret." Oh, well, stop with the negative - I will have all I need when I need it if I don't start getting way negative and a couple of outfits will not change the way the universe spins.

So much of what goes on in the today grows from roots of yesterday, doesn't it? Here, a step dad who was too stingy (fear, in his roots?) to buy clothing for his kids, a mother who did her best, but hid the clothing to pay the dues later, and what did I do? What I was taught, married someone who hates me buying any thing, even with my own earnings, especially clothes and flowers for my garden. But then if you are with someone who will not communicate, one really doesn't know for sure what they are mad about, so perhaps there has been a lot of unhealthy assuming.

Very unhealthy, mind you . . . but YES, I hid them. But this time for the funeral, he said "get an outfit." Errrrrrrk - he did not say two outfits. But wait a minute - wasn't half that tax return mine? ...and here we go....jeez....get healthy, self, will you, already?

Maybe will post a pic next week or whenever I can get back to the 'puter and quit feeling guilty that I bought two.

What makes the above sort of funny for me, is that in marketing class, my professor covered the very process almost down to the exact process above. He and I used to have a good laugh over my buying stories, it was so entertaining for me to find out this "syndrome" is documented as part of a marketing course.

Speaking of weight loss - am really stuck. Beeeeeg plateau. Doc prescribed that wonderful pill that helps so much with pain and my feet felt weird last night - I looked down and they looked like corpse feet. Or eggplants. They were purple, red, and SWOLLEN! Called the doc and he ordered me in for visit today. Nothing serious. We don't think anyway. So gave me water pills. Suspense - will that break the platt toe?

Did I mention the pills make me goofy and I can't remember my name?

Friday, April 18, 2008

Under Construction


Still planting! Today we bought Gerbera daisies, a blue bush to bring butterflies and birds, and some fire plant. I had to pull more of that devilish dollar weed before putting these in the ground. I love the bright simplicity of the Gerberas. The roses are blooming nicely.

Called the doc and told him, I'm done, can't stand the pain or being sick from the pain meds. He phoned me in something that is taken regularly twice a day for seizures, it just happened that a discovery was made that nerve pain was helped with this med. It does help a lot - but its only a "masking," I can tell. Also it makes me very dizzy and loopy (mmmm, what else is new?) so its not the answer. I also got a referral to a pain clinic that specializes in nerve blocks. We'll see, I go next week.

The calendar is whopping full until mid May.

My hair is now very short - don't know if I like it - went to Walmart and bought some large earrings. (Not driving across town to avoid Walmart!) We'll see. It's easier - just spray and push it around.

Psycho has peed on the boy's school backpack. I had covered the catnip with a laundry basket with a brick on top of it. Have the cats figured out a way to chew the plant to the roots anyway? Of course. Devious little whiskered varmints.

I've been watching the last three seasons of Nip/Tuck. And getting a lot of the elliptical done with the pain meds and the edited (no commercials) version. I have laughed, I have cried, I have identified, I have thought how ridiculous, yet I'm hooked. I don't usually like anything that has a lot of visuals on sex thrown in purely for entertainment value - I'm old fashioned enough to think that belongs in private. But somehow the steamy scenes fit in with the series without driving me bonkers. The writers and directors are brilliant as well as the leads. So, this is confession time, I have been hooked - popping in and out of these when I'm alone and no one is there to corrupt besides myself.

Still following the fast from negative thinking studies and reading the Bible and Tolle's book as well. A contradiction? I don't think so - maybe some do.

Still sorting clothes - egad. So hard to get rid of them out of fear that I'll gain it back. Especially with these sodium based pain meds - I'm not losing so fast now.

It is in the upper 70's and I think summer has landed - it will get hotter and steamy and that is my luscious Southland!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A Pea Green Kind of Life


Clothes! I'm still working on weeding out my closet.

See, its a problem because I think things should last forever. I tried on a twenty year old pants suit, No problem, it's still good - isn't it? Yeh, it is still good, but its not me. Never was. It's causing me to squeak putting away the big clothes that are still new (uh, new to me is three years old and under) though I'll never be an executive whatever any more - I don't need them - thank God.

I've never really known how to dress for sure - to please myself and other's expectations - often the two have been at odds - I always have gone against the flow of what is currently fashionable, or pushed over the edge a bit past trendy, but the last two years I have been buying what is timeless. I haven't purchased much at all compared to most people I know. I love the new slim looks, the geometrics, the cuts of the clothing - I would stay in this era forever!!!

I tried on the pea green outfit, era - uh, I don't remember - a mark down Liz Claiborne - and the pants were super baggy in the seat and legs - the top seemed to flare around the middle after I had sat down for a while. I looked in the mirror today and wondered what I could have been thinking to buy it even if it was on sale. Perhaps it was an effort to look appropriately middle aged????

Still, I wonder how to dress "appropriately" even now. My guts tell me to dress like me - to decorate my body with lush splashes of color and fabrics that flow in celebration. I look around in church - let's see, a blouse, slacks, lace up shoes - maybe an occasional pair of heels - a jacket. Well, the pastor's wife is middle age and she's HOT - geometric sleeveless dresses - blue jeans, cute sandal shoes. Looking good. Hmmmmmm. Should I end the wondering and just be ME, and wear what I like?

Never will forget one place I worked about 20 years ago. One day I wore black stretch leggings and was called in and told I couldn't wear knit pants unless the top came down over my hips. ????? Thereafter I went through a stage of wearing clothing a size too large.

Another place of work: I made a gorgeous black with red flowers flowing dress and wore it without a bra. The boss was a happy man.

The tattoo I guess was a way of waving goodbye to a pea green kind of life...and clothing. (Funny how doing stuff that is good for us sometimes doesn't feel so good on one level.) Give me the happy geometrics! The bright colors - bubbles, circles, combinations - clingy, so what - everyone just about seems to have a bit of extra at the waist. And if the tattoo peeks out - so?

Ok, I now feel better for getting the pea green outfit and the others to the Goodwill box. Just takes a bit of reflection.

Wish I was here.

Can't post much today - "H" on the warpath because I forgot to turn off the water in the flower bed - cleaning lady coming and I have a mess to try to clean up so she can clean - stuff needs sorted and disposed of and put away - its going to be one of those days that I am going to have to go look for something to do to get away from the "seething." The sun is shining. Maybe the beach for a walk if not some browning of the body covering -

God grant me the wisdom to change the things I can, to not worry about the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference - something like that. LOL, maybe I should go find an Alanon meeting.

So, I have to get moving - have a great day everyone.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

So Much Fun.............






What a weekend! First we rescued a turtle from the highway - poor thing was lumbering along and stopped - I pulled off the road, put up my hand as a sign for the traffic to stop, and ran out and lifted him up. We put him in the wading pool until we could find a place away from a four lane highway for him. Today we located a wonderful place, a large acreage with ponds, and it was fenced as well. When I picked him up for transport, he was strangely still. He didn't make it - perhaps he'd been hit - yet one part of me feels like a murderess or something for interfering with nature - but I could not stand driving away letting him get smashed.

We had a baseball game, a trip to Target where I found a couple of things on sale to fit, the boy had crawfish at a buffet and chocolate eclairs. We moved on to Albertsons to pick up a prescription for a new non-narcotic pain med for me and Lean Cuisines (under 300 cal) for my meals. Next, came the ice cream store which I navigated through managing not to get ice cream.

The first dose of the pain med felt like three Martguerita's - which is nice - but, hey, most of my life is spent needing to function on all cylinders. Oh well, the pain was like 65% reduced. Now, I realize how bad I really was hurting as I'm on my second day of meds. I hope the "woo woo" feeling will pass. Apparently the med was/is used for seizure control and they found out it also controlled nerve pain. Ok, we'll give it a whirl.

Today was Missions Conference day and I met up with many old friends and folks I had assisted while they lived on the foreign field, and old friends from school days who came from all over the country to participate. I will go to a luncheon Tuesday to spend further time with some pastors and the missionaries - these were nine years of my life.

I was particularly intrigued with the talks from the folks in Nepal and then in a town in Chechnya, which was southern Russia. It is only a few miles from some "hot spots." I would like to go there in July. I'm going to look into it. Maybe it'll work out, maybe not. That's not much time in which to raise money.

The top photo is a fella that is completely nuts - in a good, fun way. He's worked in England, Philippines, and South Africa. He makes everyone laugh - he was on a TV show in England and had people rolling on the floor with laughter.

I also burned up my heavy duty shredder. Grandson inherited the insides and tinkered all afternoon with it.

Then last we did more gardening. Still have so much more to go - but I'm enjoying very consciously not "thinking" but being in the now with the dirt, the silence, and the war with the dollar weed!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Have a Great Weekend.


As a relief from the two disturbing posts previous to this, here is the orange first rose of summer. Isn't she gorgeous?

Do We Really Want to Eat This?

Yes, I'm on a roll this a.m.! Check out the new link on the left to Scientific...etc.
Also view:



I will never darken Kentucky Fried Chickens' drive through windows (or walk-in) again. And I thought China was bad, and we haven't cleaned up our own yard, so to speak.

Lately, I have noticed that sometimes I will get a chicken from the grocery store and I have to throw it away because the meat is mushy. The video probably explains why. If one jumps and stomps on live chickens for a long enough period of time I guess the meat would get mushy. The last one I bought from "H"'s store was awful - since he goes there everyday I asked him to take it back and get my money back, pick up another from a store he drives by on his way home (cheaper there too) and he could have the leftover money for gas. I got lambasted - that was the last big chicken fight - to me to return the chicken with an explanation would not only have been a good financial thing to do, but would also let the store know that the meat was unacceptable so they could maybe do something about it. This would also save me 40 miles of driving to make an extra trip to that store and seemed more environmentally sane as well. But then I have to admit, I have one of those inferior female brains. So what do I know?

OK! The computer goes off now for the day. I am moving on...........

Weapons of Mass Destruction in the Back Yard



My question is, why don't we just move it overseas like they did with our manufacturing, computer, and other jobs? Huh?

Dangerous Animal Virus on US Mainland?
By LARRY MARGASAK,
AP
Posted: 2008-04-11 08:29:54
Filed Under: Nation News, Science News
WASHINGTON (April 11) - The Bush administration is likely to move its research on one of the most contagious animal diseases from an isolated island laboratory to the U.S. mainland near herds of livestock, raising concerns about a catastrophic outbreak.

Skeptical Democrats in Congress are demanding to see internal documents they believe highlight the risks and consequences of the decision. An epidemic of the disease, foot and mouth, which only affects animals, could devastate the livestock industry.

One such government report, produced last year and already turned over to lawmakers by the Homeland Security Department, combined commercial satellite images and federal farm data to show the proximity to livestock herds of locations that have been considered for the new lab. "Would an accidental laboratory release at these locations have the potential to affect nearby livestock?" asked the nine-page document. It did not directly answer the question.

A simulated outbreak of the disease - part of an earlier U.S. government exercise called "Crimson Sky" - ended with fictional riots in the streets after the simulation's National Guardsmen were ordered to kill tens of millions of farm animals, so many that troops ran out of bullets. In the exercise, the government said it would have been forced to dig a ditch in Kansas 25 miles long to bury carcasses. In the simulation, protests broke out in some cities amid food shortages.

"It was a mess," said Sen. Pat Roberts, R-Kan., who portrayed the president in the 2002 exercise. Now, like other lawmakers from the states under consideration, Roberts supports moving the government's new lab to his state. Manhattan, Kan., is one of five mainland locations under consideration. "It will mean jobs" and spur research and development, he says.

The other possible locations for the new National Bio-and Agro-Defense Facility are Athens, Ga.; Butner, N.C.; San Antonio; and Flora, Miss. The new site could be selected later this year, and the lab would open by 2014. The numbers of livestock in the counties and surrounding areas of the finalists range from 542,507 in Kansas to 132,900 in Georgia, according to the Homeland Security study.

Foot-and-mouth virus can be carried on a worker's breath or clothes, or vehicles leaving a lab, and is so contagious it has been confined to Plum Island, N.Y., for more than a half-century - far from commercial livestock. The existing lab is 100 miles northeast of New York City in the Long Island Sound, accessible only by ferry or helicopter. Researchers there who work with the live virus are not permitted to own animals at home that would be susceptible, and they must wait at least a week before attending outside events where such animals might perform, such as a circus.

The White House says modern safety rules at labs are sufficient to avoid any outbreak. But incidents in Britain have demonstrated that the foot-and-mouth virus can cause remarkable economic havoc - and that the virus can escape from a facility.

An epidemic in 2001 devastated Britain's livestock industry, as the government slaughtered 6 million sheep, cows and pigs. Last year, in a less serious outbreak, Britain's health and safety agency concluded the virus probably escaped from a site shared by a government research center and a vaccine maker. Other outbreaks have occurred in Taiwan in 1997 and China last year and in 2006.

If even a single cow signals an outbreak in the U.S., emergency plans permit the government to shut down all exports and movement of livestock. Herds would be quarantined, and a controlled slaughter could be started to stop the disease from spreading.

Infected animals weaken and lose weight. Milk cows don't produce milk. They remain highly infectious, even if they survive the virus.

The Homeland Security Department is convinced it can safely operate the lab on the mainland, saying containment procedures at high-security labs have improved. The livestock industry is divided. Some experts, including the former director at the aging Plum Island Animal Disease Center, say research ought to be kept away from cattle populations - and, ideally, placed where the public already has accepted dangerous research.

The former director, Dr. Roger Breeze, suggested the facility could be safely located at the Atlanta campus of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, or at Fort Detrick in Frederick, Md., home of The United States Army Medical Research Institute for infectious diseases.

Another possibility, Breeze said, is on Long Island, where there is no commercial livestock industry. That would allow retention of most of the current Plum Island employees.

Asked about the administration's finalist sites located near livestock, Breeze said: "It seems a little odd. It goes against the ... safety program of the last 50 years."

The former head of the U.S. Agriculture Department's Agricultural Research Service said Americans are not prepared for a foot-and-mouth outbreak that has been avoided on the mainland since 1929.

"The horrific prospect of exterminating potentially millions of animals is not something this country's ready for," said Dr. Floyd Horn.

The Agriculture Department ran the Plum Island lab until 2003. It was turned over to the Homeland Security Department because preventing an outbreak is now part of the nation's biological defense program.

Plum Island researchers work on detection of the disease, strategies to control epidemics including vaccines and drugs, tests of imported animals to ensure they are free of the virus and training of professionals.

The new facility will add research on diseases that can be transferred from animals to humans. The Plum Island facility is not secure enough to handle that higher-level research.

Leaders of the House Energy and Commerce Committee also are worried about the lab's likely move to the mainland. The chairman, Rep. John Dingell, D-Mich., and the head of the investigations subcommittee, Rep. Bart Stupak, D-Mich., are threatening to subpoena records they say Homeland Security is withholding from Congress. Those records include reports about "Crimson Sky," an internal review about a publicized 1978 accidental release of foot-and-mouth disease on Plum Island and reports about any previously undisclosed virus releases on the island during the past half century.

The lawmakers set a deadline of Friday for the administration to turn over reports they requested. Otherwise, they warned in a letter to Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, they will arrange a vote next week to issue a congressional subpoena.

A new facility at Plum Island is technically a possibility. Signs point to a mainland site, however, after the administration spent considerable time and money scouting new locations. Also, there are financial concerns about operating from a location accessible only by ferry or helicopter.

The Homeland Security Department says laboratory animals would not be corralled outside the new facility, and they would not come into contact with local livestock. All work with the virus and lab waste would be handled securely and any material leaving would be treated and monitored to ensure it was sterilized.

"Containment technology has improved dramatically since foot-and-mouth disease prohibitions were put in place in 1948," Homeland Security spokeswoman Amy Kudwa said.

Cattle farmers and residents are divided over the proposal to move the lab to the mainland.

"I would like to believe we could build a facility, with the knowledge and technology we have available, that would be basically safe from a bio-security standpoint," said John Stuedemann, a cattle farmer near Athens, Ga., and a former scientist at the Agriculture Department.

Nearby, community activist Grady Thrasher in Athens is worried about an outbreak from a research lab. Thrasher, a former securities lawyer, has started a petition drive against moving the lab to Georgia, saying the risks are too great.

"There's no way you can balance that equation by putting this in the middle of a community where it will do the most harm," Thrasher said. "The community is now aroused, so I think we have a majority against this."

In North Carolina, commissioners in Granville County originally endorsed moving the lab to their area but later withdrew support. Officials from Homeland Security ultimately met with residents for more than four hours, but the commissioners have taken no further action to back the facility.

"Accidents are going to happen 50 years down the road or one year down the road," said Bill McKellar, a pharmacist in Butner, N.C., who leads an opposition group that has formed a research committee of lawyers and doctors.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Whole Lotta Shakin Going On


Dear heavens - I have been on the computer for about two hours trying to make MySpace work for me. I still don't care for it. But we'll see. I came back to blogspot today - it feels like a warm robe on a cold winter day - comforting somehow. I think MySpace is for the youngsters - but hey, I'm hip. Old, but hip.

Dang, the Blue Angels are practicing and shredding my nerves - I guess its that time of year. I will be back later to comment. Just checking in. I can't think with my walls shaking.

Yeh, too much coffee too.

Oh - the first rose of summer is breaking out in bloom - orange as sherbet! I continue trying to weed the flower bed, a bit at a time, so slow, so slow. I have to fertilize the grass somehow - will figure it out. Then I'm going to write a book on how to continue to live life with a bad spine.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Tall Women Rock


I'm blogging like crazy this weekend!!! Well, it is raining.

I just found a Tall Woman's Website, its marvelous. Loved the above video.

Catniposa Ecstarocia or "I get High with the Help of My Friends"





Dried catnip is usually a treat for the cats. When I planted my herbs and vegetable starts, I decided maybe a little of the fresh stuff would be nice. I have also heard of using catnip tea for various ailments. If it works for cats, why not humans. Well, the start for the catnip is now covered over with a laundry basket and a brick, as the cats nibbled off most of the start and rolled in that. Then Psycho began eating the dirt around the plant. Whoa. That must be strong stuff. How's that for a blast from the 70's?

Raining here - and I hoped for sunshine. We'll see what the morning brings, this may mean no softball practice. So besides enabling cats to get high, I'm not sure what is on the agenda this weekend.

I had better get a shower and prepare some breakfast just in case there is baseball practice. So I will leave you and wish you a very good weekend.

Early Friday a.m. befor a Happy, Happy Weekend.


Have a great weekend everyone.

I'm back to the ballfield.

Still trying to quit thinking negative/uncontrolled thoughts.

Trying to stop wondering if the mental states of people around me are a by product of tap water filled with prescription med residue.

Why? Why? Why? It just is.

I think I need a program - Al Anon?

There is squeaking in my walls. Are the mice having sex? (I only want to know, because baby mice will be a problem.) I am not kinky. Well, a little, maybe.

I let the cat in when she started tearing the screen off. I had to let Psycho out last night because he was all over the counters, the stove, the sinks, but he didn't come in with the screen tearer. Is he ok?

My back has felt reasonable for two days. And the vegetables are planted. Cucumber, 3 different types of peppers, tomato, thyme, basil, and catnip..........catnip probably will have a difficult time surviving - it attracts cats (no duh), cats that roll in it and bite off the new shoots. Maybe I should chew it?

My tooth hurts - I need to see the dentist - drat, I know I'm looking at half a grand with it.

I ate chocolate yesterday, last night. It was good.

I yelled at the boy because he is beginning to refuse to mind me and will have to go back to school without his assignments done because he is refusing to do them.

I slam the door to "H's" bedroom cave because he will not participate in life. That is, anyone else's life.

I regret both.

Toller's book is not for me. I've spent days trying to get through it, and he is just on a different planet than I am. I continue with my fasting from negative thoughts devotions, trying, trying, trying. I can't do it myself, I need God's help. There I differ from Toller. I am not God. Knowledge does not free me - I agree that is the first step, knowing that we need to change and what we need to change, but then we humans fool ourselves - and I think that is what Toller refers to as Ego, and the followers of Christ refer to as the "flesh" or "fallen man." I still have to rely on God to show me what I need to change because there are things in myself that I lie (or don't realistically see) to myself about. And for me, only a supernatural power (God) working within me frees me, enables me to change. But I am not God. So, I leave ascended consciousness or whatever it is to Toller and seek to become more Christ-like, or Christ filled. I yearn that "I would decrease so He could increase in me." I believe God wants the "I" to be very present or it wouldn't be there in the first place, but to have the "I" subdued and yoked with God. That way we could do ANYTHING, even replace fear with faith.

It's now 5:30 a.m. and Psycho is home and it is 73 degrees outside. I will pack the swimsuits and towels with the baseball gear - we'll go eat at the Shrimp Basket and at least walk the beach and splash a bit today - I bet it will reach at least 80 degrees. I love you, sunshine.

Missions conference is this weekend, a Nepalese friend will be here and I can find out what is happening in Nepal as well as Tibet from the people's point of view. I will see my beautiful friend from Kenya who has orphanages for street kids. I just received photos of 29 new kids coming in. I check my budget to see if I can get out the ridiculously low amount it takes to support one for a year and allow them to go to school. I will see my friend who is a medical missionary in the jungles of Nicaragua. I will cry when 100 people march through the church carrying flags high in the air from as many nations.

It will be a good weekend, one in which I am thankful for the gift of being alive, for sunshine, for the boy, for a beautiful, if a bit small, home, for dirt and plants, and grass, for little boys and girls playing baseball, for left over pot roast, even for the challenge of getting the clothes washed and dried without bending over and starting a war with pinched nerves. Yeh!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Cougar



Red posted a beautiful post about big cats which prompted me to share my experience with a big cat.

The above cougars are prints from oils done by a Wyoming artist who lived out on a ranch and painted incredibly realistic wildlife in dreamy backgrounds. She is now passed away, but I have three limited edition prints - The above two cougers: "Footloose" and "Golden Eyes." The coyote below is called "Belly Deep and Blowin'"


It is surprising I feel any affinity for cougars or wildlife of any kind.

Doesn't everyone have a crazy uncle tucked away in the family closet somewhere? Well, ours is buried now - which makes us all a lot safer, but this is where the cougar story starts.

This wacked out uncle would try to tame anything that walked out of the forest, prairie, den, tree, or other wild place. All the family members have stories to tell of being attacked by a coyote, a bob cat, a badger, or, yes, a cougar. I was around the cougar a lot. It had its front claws and fangs removed. Still, several hundred pounds of putty tat that would lie on top of cupboards so it could swat visitors (crazy uncle thought that was hilarious) was a bit scary. Once he claimed the cougar was constipated - I must have been ten years old - he told me to hold the cougar down while he gave it castor oil. The cougar was at least twice my size and it was quite a wrestling match with uncle standing by laughing his crazy head off. Finally he held the cat down while I straddled its broad chest and poured down a bottle of castor oil. I never did find out if the cat had a proper movement.

Another time he and my mother decided a picnic would be fun for my sister and I. They threw us in the back of the pickup with the cougar that, once we hit open road, heading for a remote mountain area and all the exciting smells added to the smell of little girls in deep fear, made the cougar start screaming. Ever heard a cougar scream? You will never forget it.

We lived through it. My sister came back with a huge burn on her temple where a discarded cigarette blew back and burnt her.

Next, Uncle decided to take a male cousin rabbit hunting, claiming the cougar was as good as any hunting dog. Yeh, you betcha. So off they went, until they came back to town full speed - Togie, the poor cougar who knew no better, got a whiff of rabbit blood and turned on my cousin and pretty effectively shredded my cousin's face with what was left of his cougar chompers. My cousin carries the scars to this day.

Needless to say, Togie went to cougar heaven that fateful day.

Why our parents put up with this behavior, (not from the cougar, but the crazy uncle) I will never know. A psychologist I once visited said, "Gee you kids were at risk, weren't you?" We all thought it was normal, what did we know?

Meeeeeeeeeeeoooowwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Diverging from the cat story, another fun thing my uncle planned for children was to take them "snipe" hunting. There was a small lake on the property and when it became dark, one child at a time was taken to sit by the lake to watch for the "snipes." I became very conditioned to love the night as I sat there alone, feeling brave to overcome the fear, and looking at the stars shining on the lake, inhaling the prairie and sagebrush smells as adrenaline, like electricity, would course through my body at any sound. I was also aware that big kitty cats, rattlesnakes, coyotes, an occasional bear, or bald eagle looking for prey roamed the area. Later I read in my textbook studies similar methods were used by satanists to condition children. No wonder there are more than a few in this family with anxiety problems.

Anyway, the good news is that I have no fear of any animal, but proper respect is due each one, besides strange large dogs (because I was bitten once) and am often found leaning over a zoo enclosure telling whatever is caged up that it is such a lovely creature and I hope it's happy.

Monday, March 31, 2008

What's Happening Here....

The kitty is our Psycho cat when he was an adolescent. His cold continues and one other cat has it mildly. The vet said to watch them, but mostly it was like a human cold but not interspecies transmittable. Isn't he cute - just makes you want to kiss his little cat lips (until you remember where they've been).

Sunday I sat on my haunches and dug weeds and planted some vegetables in the flower garden and some herbs, fertilized, babied existing plants, and watered. I managed to get up but could not lift my feet, so I shuffled in, and spent the next 18 hours in bed, afraid that it might be permanent. Turning over was excruciating. This morning I am up and better. Well, I can't totally walk upright, but I can walk without pain. It was so much fun being in the warm sun and earth, I couldn't be moderate.

All the sorting and getting "rid of" that I've been doing for a year is starting to show - today I walked in the house and there was a quiet, sort of serene atmosphere and I almost cried I was so thankful. That lasted two hours, the kitchen table is covered again - ahhhhhhhhhh. The pantry is back intact after the bug wars, with snacks in clear plastic containers (thanks, W.C.).

Have hit the 35 pounds mark in pounds lost - the scale didn't move, and didn't move, and didn't move - then two mornings ago, wow! I was happy. Am happy. Except I'm finding a bit of baggage I don't remember having when I was younger and my clothes are fitting even worse - but not complaining, not complaining.

Daughter just called this a.m. and the medical trip is off, instead I think I will drive to Doc Lovely's and spend a lot of time in prayer for her and her family. Supernatural help is needed when raising teenagers - true! She says a storm is coming this way from Birmingham - we'll see - I feel adventurous! I'll pick up fresh strawberries from the farm.


Forty days of negative thought fasting continues - the dailies are coming so fast, they are hard to keep up with, let alone blog them. I may give a summary a bit down the road. Spring break here and no classes - so I feel free as a bird for a few days.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Trapping Aliens


Having awakened two nights in a row to sounds of breaking glass, splashing noises, and a mess to clean up, I came up with a brilliant idea to catch the midnight counter top marauders.

We heard little smacking sounds as they landed on the tape, then "thump," when they jumped quickly off! Within two nights they decided they don't like walking on places that are sticky. We can now place a vase of flowers on the counter top without having to clean broken glass mixed with water and flowers. They won't even brave the tape for their usual food raids........They wouldn't stay long enough for me to get photos of their gleaming little cat eyes in the dark. They know enough not to jump on top of the stove - so I think they will remember the icky tape and desist.

Jocelyn's date showed up one night and asked why we had upside down tape all over our counter tops. With a serious look on my face, I told him we were catching aliens. It was so much fun to observe his face.

What a week! Tuesday I prepped for happy sleep tests as the docs want assurance of no internal bleeding. I was pretty much out of commission for at least 24-36 hours. I don't know what kind of drugs these guys use, but I was begging for the anesthesiologist to come by my house at 10:00 p.m. nightly with his needle and bottles. However I was informed he had been propositioned by many so I would have to get in line. Actually I've been pretty tired since then, so I wouldn't want his cocktail EVERY night. Everything was fine - I knew it was, so back to the blood doctor to figure out why I seem to be short of the stuff, though the tests were better for a while, but most recent one somewhat depleted. How could that be so fast?

Then - we found little Miller-like bugs in the pantry. That wasn't the worst of it, upon investigation, we found them in every step of bug development. Sooooooo......it has taken three of us since Tuesday evening to unload everything, inspect it, wash it or throw it away, wash inside of pantry, and then put everything back - well, I still have two large boxes to inspect, sort, and put away. I was so tired by this afternoon that I started watching "Dead Man Walking" with Sean Penn and fell asleep during part of it sitting up. I will never make remarks about old people sleeping while they sit up again.

On my list of to-do's are "the oranges." They have dark spots on the skin. I need to take them to the nursery and see if they are edible. I already cut a few and they are delicious, but don't want to feed my family some exotic fungus, if that is the cause of the spots.

Oh well, the price of living in paradise.

We all have colds or allergies, even the wicked cat, Psycho. He is sneezing, eyes watering and sleeping next to us at every opportunity, rather than terrorizing the neighborhood rats. Ms. Meowi and Big Meowi were clobbering each other today. Better be no abscesses or I will get them jobs to pay vet bills.

I've had taxes done for quite a while, but "H" doesn't trust me and wants someone from H & R Block to review them - and I'm freaking because the deadline is getting really close and the folder is still laying on my desk. TaxAct software is a breeze - even handled my quirky transactions last year brilliantly.

Day 12 of Negative Thought fasting - I have to get back into the right frame of mind. I'll hop on over to everyone's blogs after I get the boy to bed and try not to be negative. :)

Monday, March 24, 2008

Strawberry Fields.....forever?


The Easter weekend was way too short. The boy's and my short trip to Alabama was wonderful. The strawberry fields are producing, the green of the countryside is intensified against the foreground of intricate still-bare pecan trees that have not yet leafed. Thousands of azaleas are blooming in dazzling color, and the weather is "perfect."

The strawberry fields we have watched and eaten from the past 20 years reflect life's cycles have shrunk in acreage to a bare minimum planting. Instead of overflowing boxes for sale, each small basket is full of sweet large berries, but in less amounts though no less delicious in their freshly picked glory. Things change. The hurricane changed things forever here - many things will never be the same.

I had a good visit with my oldest daughter and my older grandson. My poor granddaughter was in bed in pain. I put my cool hands against her throbbing head and prayed for her. If only love could make people well! Today, I will make phone calls to help "M" find a surgeon for a second opinion. Her chest wall is pressing upon her lungs and heart. A major surgery has been recommended. She has already been through so much with the other surgery.

Today's fasting from negative thoughts: Get rid of "Grasshopper Thinking." This is the mentality that tells us we are tiny and ineffectual grasshoppers in the face of big problems. Another surgery with a long recovery time is a big problem for her to face. And, really, when those you love suffer, the pain is in you as well - I would gladly have the surgery for her if I could. We all have to put on our armour so we can surround her with strength and faith and courage and love. We have a higher resource upon which to draw all we need.

I wish now for the agreement and power that a couple can have when they stand together. I wish for strength for the kids and grandkids that could be a rock for them if it weren't for selfish ego. Reality does not present that option, so I reach for my God's hand and wait eagerly for that yoke that will take some of the care off my shoulders.

The rest of the weekend went too fast. "J" had to work 17 hours from Saturday to Sunday in a long stretch, so she arrived at Easter services in her hospital clothes looking dazed and bedraggled. We then went home so she could clean up for lunch at the Olive Garden and a Dr. Seuss movie. Out of the four of us "who" went, two napped through the movie. We still haven't dyed eggs. Maybe tomorrow. The boy and "J" woke up with very sore throats this morning. I had planned to take the boy to the beach for a buffet, but we had a good time and Olive Garden is always high on his list!

I had dropped a pretty good bunch of pounds yesterday, but today, probably because of salty soup, salad, and a piece of key lime pie, (why did I do that), I am back up. However, if the pattern follows, it will fall back off within a day or two and I will be very close to the next ten pounds. I pulled out my clothes to find something to wear to church and they all looked like gunny sacks - very baggy - which was good - but bad, in that I had some decent looking clothes that I can no longer wear without looking pretty silly. No sense getting more clothes than the bare minimum if I have more pounds to go, and I do. I found one black lightweight suit I could wear - and, for Easter, I looked rather goth against others in their bright spring clothing. I'm still waiting for that sewing machine - I think I can alter a few things....

Have had two and one half nearly pain free days with my back which I needed, because I was feeling sick all over from the pain. Yay!

I'm going to go now and try to get a couple of miles in on the elliptical, take a shower, and get myself presentable for the day before lining up early dinner for the boy so he can eat before baseball practice.

Time flies!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Happy Easter


Happy Easter. I always think of sunrises with Easter. For me there is always hope in a new day. The sarcastic part of me wants to say, "Yeh, well, you are slow in getting it aren't you?" The "good" part of me looks outside and sees the creation and feels like it is a gift each day, just being able to see it, smell it, touch it.

Fasting on day 6 from comparing myself with others - why wasn't I born financially comfortable in a family that loved education and each other and their children, why can't I run like the wind? In high school it was "Why do I have to be so tall and have curly hair?"

I'm a realist most of the time and know that people don't walk around without their own burdens that they live with everyday. Burdens we don't ask for. So mine are not so hard despite of how I "feel" sometimes. It is interesting as well that these daily reminders have made my mind alert enough to take control and stop the negative thoughts more quickly each time they come. Having spent more than a few years in the counseling field, I'm interested in watching this process proceed. I don't think negative thinking will just disappear, no......but rather that life will become easier to live free of fear and poisonous thought darts as this 40 day "fast" proceeds.

Tomorrow I'll probably take the boy to church, probably stop and make sure he gets a nice meal. I'm not cooking - daughter here will eat candy, and "H" will continue on with the sausages and I would eventually end up throwing it away and I can't stand waste. Then boy can do his backyard Easter Egg hunt. For him, competing with 100's of wildly excited children for eggs at a traditional hunt is not his thing. Today there is no ballgame - they are fun - but this will be a nice respite.

In relation to day 6 - I look back when the graduating grandson was a baby, "H" and I were both in school, and we were all poor together - both families - and we would go to Barnhills (ugh- but Barnhills is very affordable) for Easter buffet after we got out of church. I miss it. Things move on. Nothing stays much the same in life - our expectancies and what we really live with will change. I learn another thing to day - don't compare with the "good ol' days." Take the sweet thought of nostalgia as the gift it is, but don't compare. That is life. That is sunrise and sunset.

The uniqueness in this Christian holiday - is that the Christian God came as human as well as God, and then after death, rose from death showing that the followers of Christ will also have this eternal life. Take it as truth or myth - but what have we to lose? Again, the comparisons get us - we look at what other people who represent themselves as Christians do or have done, and let ourselves miss out because of them.

Well, if you celebrate Easter, I hope your celebrations are sweet as well as fun and you arrive at Monday rested in heart, spirit, and body.

I have dragged out my old bread making machine and also hope to fill the house with the smell of fresh baking bread tomorrow.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Rubber Chicken Chronicles



Ooooh! Day Four of the Negative Thinking Fast. I've already been sorely tested. Day three was to abstain from thinking "I'm Overwhelmed." The antidote: To understand that being yoked with God as applies to the reason for a "yoke" - so one can pick up the burden when the other falters. I need to see myself yoked to God and with that yoking I can handle whatever comes my way (with help).

Day Four came THE TEST: Day four was to abstain from thinking something bad might happen to me and my family. When enough bad things and tragedy have fallen upon our lives, we tend to begin to expect it. When we expect it, we bring it to ourselves. We have to STOP! Orrrrrrrr, for an analogy.....we create a "Catch 22" situation......we get in bed with the bad thinking and wonder and obsess on why we wake up pregnant.

My test: A huge fight with "H" - when I asked for him to bring home a chicken for supper. I got a nasty, berating answer. Which meant no, but also no, and you are a rotten person for asking when I work so hard for that 4.58 that a chicken would cost and I don't have because of YOU! I, AGAIN, lost my cool and lambasted the ball back to "H's" court, and of course it ended up back in my court to stay as I am the one to blame for "everything." Then, it started...."the thoughts." After a while, I woke up as if out of a dream realizing that I was replaying this over and over and wandering how, considering my circumstances, I could divorce him. Finish it once and for all. The awful part was I realized that in my head was a constant conversation playing labeled "Resentment and Fear and Doubting Myself." It messes with my head - he acts to the outside world as if we have a perfect marriage and, of course, there is his library of boxes and boxes and boxes of books on marriage. I was obsessing trying to figure this all out and make some sense of it. (Here, see Tweety's post - there is no sense.) But probably I wanted to justify to myself that I'm not nuts.

Screeeech, halt, stop! I will never figure it out. Just stop! "STOP! STOP NOW."

How? I played some music that was uplifting for me, and just refused to think on THAT stuff anymore. Did it work - not right away, but I was persistent in talking to the alien thought pod planted in my brain. (Attempt at joking here). I then would bring my thoughts back to the worship music.

Back to Day Three COMBINED with the thoughts of Day Four - "I'm overwhelmed." I had, in that negative thought festival because of a dead chicken, assigned myself to an assisted living facility as the ONLY solution by the time I had reached the top of the nasty thoughts ladder. (But free of the constant cement block around my ankle - or so I told myself.) Ok, you are probably laughing - I am smiling now after seeing the totally ridiculous paths that the trails of our thoughts, if left unbridled, will take us. It's also amazing how they will take us over and consume us. I felt helpless - but I prayed the prayer that God always answers: "Help me!" Then I had the strength to say "Stop Now" loud enough and long enough to make a difference.

I'm excited to find out if 40 days of fasting from all these thoughts will change the paths of the neurons running through my brain. Will 40 days kill the default program? We'll find out.......

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Refusing to believe I Can't...........


Ms. Meowi in the twilight. She was still having trouble loosing fur, then looked like she was getting really bad bites from the other cats. Yesterday we went to the vet (which cost more than the specialist I saw today) and discovered she has fleas and had scratched herself and had some infection. I'm glad to know it wasn't the other cats chewing her up. Anyway, I had to cough up gazillion dollar bills for the visit and the meds, but already her eyes look more joyful. Psycho doesn't give a rip. And Big Meowi is concentrating on mainly getting more of those small cans of "wet" food. They all got doses of the flea meds and I have to buy some Borax to treat all our soft surfaces. That time of year I guess.

The clothing arrived today and I take back most of what I said about Victoria's Secret. (And vow to quit believing everything I read on the "net" pending more research - I learned that in marketing and forgot.) The underwears feel wonderful and everything was excellent quality. I got a lot for what I spent because everything but the racer back bra was on a super sale, which I wouldn't have spent had I known what the vet would cost. Service was superb. Now, I don't know about those slave labor claims - the underwear were from Israel.....

Anyway this leads to Day One of the 40 day negativity fast - abstaining from "I can't." At first I thought, this isn't me - there is nothing that I can't do if I want to do it. I've proven that. Then I began to think.....of the limitations I have with my back, the circumstances that I have to work around, and other "I cant's......." Why do I keep SAYING - I can't ????? I am a believer that if we say something long enough - we get it. Dwelling on "I cant's" will eventually bring one down to the pits. Dwelling on the "I can's" brings me to higher places and makes me happy instead of sad.

Day Two dealt with lack - lack and lack of faith that my needs will be met. I have continually seen my needs met - why would I want to think so negatively? Of course my needs are met. This is so tied in with "I can't." It is so true that our decisions are controlled by our thought life. If we stay in the negative we make decisions based on the negative and fear and the decisions will bring about the very thing we fear!

This ties in with the vet trip and my doctor's trip today after buying a few clothes. Does God say I have to make a choice? Where is that coming from? The belief that it's my cat or me....can't have two doc bills in one week, don't deserve clothes that don't fall off the shoulders or slide down the hips - my goodness no, the world will crash. Will it really - of course not! The money won't drop in my lap from the sky - but it will work out, I believe it will, and I CAN! These things are needs, not wants.....I can manage - of course I CAN!

These aren't the sum of the daily email, but what they spoke to me.

Night, all.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Have a Fabulous Weekend!


The joyous weekend is here! The sun is bright and beautiful. I have options this afternoon - "H" offered to take the boy to baseball practice so I can have the afternoon for whatever I want - that is so unusual! I can paint or I can garden! Or both! It will soon be sunbathing weather! Spring Vacation! Easter! All joyous times.

Hattigrace sent me an email about starting 40 days of positive thinking and a fast from negativity. Then another friend sent me a forward that was perfect along these lines as well! I think I will print that one for my bathroom mirror! I prayed last night for help in this area. Interesting, yes?

No, it won't be easy, there are lots of things that seem overwhelming and impossible to solve. But I'm giving it a go! Will fit in well with my '08 program - might has well heal the mind as well as the body.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I Know a Secret

Wow. I just finished ordering some stretchy yoga pants which I figured would accommodate two more size losses. Then I ordered some underwear and two tank tops because summer is very near in Florida. All from Victoria's Secret. (I hate to go out of my house to shop - and V.S. has tall sizes.) I was even feeling a bit like a sexy ol' broad for a moment there and was wondering how to hide the package when it came from "H" so as not to induce a cholesterol ridden heart attack. For either of us.

Well, hindsight is better than foresight, I started idly googling through Victoria's Secret.

I found out they are not very nice people or a very nice company.

First, encountered report after report of rudeness about larger sizes (in whose eyes?) - so why then do they make double D cups? Either they hire clerks that aren't annoyed by double D cups, or they need to quit manufacturing double D cups. (Ain't coffee, guys)

Next, many posts were about difficulties returning items, and then:

The grand mal part of the expose' came in:

1.) Bob Dylan - oh, you old fart, you sold out, allowing your image to be sold cavorting with teenagers and very young 20's girls in underwear, that's supposed to prompt the largest marketable population to purchase?????

and next,

2.) Exploitation aka Slave Labor I can't vouch for the truth in this blog where I found this information, but it raised red flags with me - big time. It is worse than the regular sweat shops.

And what is this about J.C. Penny's new "America" branding - I called them and told them I was so proud of them having an American made line available and I thought they were going to choke. They never did tell me where these items were made. Marketing poo poo.

As expensive as things are now, why can't we just pay our workers in the U.S. rather than foreign workers to manufacture our goods....yeh, yeh I've read all the books, the U.S. is in the "Information Age" not the "Manufacturing Age." I didn't know this information age was going to go up to $4.00 a gallon for gas and milk. And the poor cows do not even have a gentle set of hands tugging their poor sore udders. Come on Victoria, how about some soft, cooling, udder bras and fair working conditions for humans? We promise we will stop giving the milk cows steroids and growth hormones, etc., so their boobs won't be a distasteful size for your sales girls.

I do really like, although there I things I don't like, Obama's "college for everyone" if certain stipulations are met. I really don't want to see my kids have to move to Bangladesh for jobs. Go to school young man. Go to school young woman. Or old men and women, since the majority of our jobs are obsolete now. Its never never too late. Well, almost never.

Enough.

Lay Around Day


Hanging around the house today. My back had me crying last night, it hurt so bad. I'm going to call some docs today about getting some routine things taken care of and out of the way and some refills. Also lay around with an ice pack and hope for relief. Boy has a game this evening, maybe will go for a while, but sitting in bleachers may not be possible either.

Need to wash clothes and poison those weeds, but just can't bend, not today.

And the social security office - you know, that program we pay into all our working lives in the U.S. in case we become disabled and can't work ?? tells me - yes, you are disabled, but you can still work - huh? (is that what the old Indian saying of speaking with "forked tongue means?") - they think I would actually like living off their pittance? Yet, it would buy groceries. I would like that adjudicator to try to sit all day at his/her desk with a couple of busted discs in their back. Divine justice. I think about surgery -

People should be careful - my beautiful granddaughter was hounded so by the principal at her school because she was absent so much that she finally just went to another school for the year. He found out what it was like to be sick - he had a stroke. But she can now go back to her school without snide remarks. That was a side note - to the revelation that surgery does not always turn out so perfect and also people should not make judgments until they walk a mile in the mocassins. What a mean man.

She'll be 14 in April. She has two steel rods up her back because of scoliosis, and another condition, pectus excavatum (something with her chest) causing large problems now. The surgeon said the scoliosis surgery would be a breeze - but she has suffered constantly since the surgery. She had to give up her dance and lost her heart to paint. Constant pain is a thief. She writes woeful poetry and still plays the flute, but that is getting harder because of lack of air to her lungs. She is one of those people that has so much talent poured into them.

Thinking a lot about art. Like getting busy with it. Wonder if that's possible. I love working with clay (photo above of a flower I did) but it takes a lot of bending. The metal smithing keeps one bent over a bench. Painting, drawing - yes, can do, can get up and wonder about and then go back for another dab here and there. One of my favorite artists is Frida Kahlo - the brave woman was so consumed with painting that she did it from her bed. She was physically damaged in a bus accident. You don't see this spinal picture in many doc's offices!


Wish it were just a little warmer - I would get a blanket, go down to the beach and hunker down and let the warm sun beat on my back and body. (LOL, between icing it.) I just got an offer on line for 3 nights and 4 days of free lodging at a resort in Cancun...looked up airline prices - its do-able because it isn't too far from here really - takes much, much less time to get there than to Wyoming. I'm too practical though I think to do it. Still daydreaming aren't I?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Passion, Mad Passionate Love


After the initial shock of learning a new medium - I can usually pick up most mediums and will flow with them in a very short period of time, at least passably so - the metals were, shall I say, a challenge and will continue to be.

Today, on a whim, I cut the wide silver ring in half to make two smaller width silver rings. The stone I have is a bit like the one in the photo - but I am wrestling with whether I should use a piece of Chinese turquoise instead of the pyrite - or make two, one with the pyrite and one with the Chinese turquoise. I have to think of a design as well, the teacher's prerequisite was not a plain ring, but to create a design on the ring circumference. I rather like the elegant sleekness of the "plain" ring above. Perhaps I will make the pyrite ring plain and the turquoise ring with an Indian design on the sides of the stone. I had better get myself into the studio off hours if I do that.

Each time I learn something new I dread it - any additions will require learning the dreaded "rolling machine" that flattens metal so one can make round metal or square metal strings to soften with a torch and shape. Now, I have to master "bevels." A bevel is the little seating that the stone fits (or is supposed to fit) into. We are learning "double bevels."

All said, learning to use tools and torches has been a hoot...and has given me confidence regarding tools. I got out my set of screwdrivers, took the entire sweeper head from my vacuum apart in the last two days, repaired it, and put it back together. Then I oiled and cleaned the motor in the vacuum. I won't tell you how ridiculously long it too me, but -it now works! I also used my jewelry tools and repaired the little award stars that lost their tips for my grandson to put back on his baseball hat.

Today, one of the guys showed me a metal he had made from an old 1600's Japanese method of mixing silver with copper. Soshu - something - it was rustic and beautiful - how intoxicating is that? It's like digging up your own clay to make pottery, maybe more exciting - like picking your own berries to make wine, or growing your own flowers to make essential oils.

I always thought my fingers were too big to work on tiny things. No - I am doing it. Sometimes with difficulty but I'm doing it. I'm in mad, passionate love with metal smithing. Can't wait to move on to the bigger stuff - boxes, etc. Times like these I am so happy inside and I feel fulfilled, excited, and then life becomes too short for everything.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Drug Cocktails, Breakfast, Lunch, and Supper and Snack Time Too

What would you do if you knew a company or a person was in your yard pouring a number of hormones, psychiatric medications, antibiotics, steroids, and other prescription medications into your water pipes? According to new research that is pretty close to what is happening world wide in developed countries.

So, we are packing steroids into our bodies and wonder why we have a difficult time controlling weight? Autism has increased tremendously, but pregnant moms and their children are drinking drug cocktails daily and we wonder why autism has increased? Uh, don't they send athletes to prison for taking steroids and "performance enhancing" drugs? Well, now its nice to know they don't have to have shots - they can just drink tap water. Then who do you prosecute?

Your child is ADD/ADHD? What is in your drinking water? The biggest insult of all, is that most treatment plants don't think we have the right to know about the pharmaceuticals in our water. Huh? Who is paying for that water coming through our tap? If we don't pay, watch where the water goes.

So we have a world where kids drink urine and feces contaminated water out of muddy puddles and streams. Then we have a world where kids drink a cocktail of drugs out of their taps. And we wonder why, with all the medical knowledge we have, we are feeling worse and worse in our minds and bodies? Hmmmm.

Now here's the response from the establishment - the deformed drug ridden fish that are being tested - well, the fish are probably just super sensitive to the drug cocktails in the rivers, lakes, ponds, and streams. Humans - oh heck, uh, don't we have some kind of magic filter that filters these things out of our body? Not that I know of.

Thank you AP - for blowing the secrecy surrounding this one!

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Take Me Out to the Ballgame.........



The "Braves" won - 9 to 1! I'm not a sports fan at all - but give me a live baseball game (not on TV) and something goes off in me. Add a hotdog and all is well in the world. And a beer if the temperature is on HOT.

Doesn't grandson look like a real pro? This has been so good for him - his coaches are stellar and the kids on the team are great. They all cheer each other on and get along really well. So far so good! He was one of two boys in Montessori, so this last year has been great he-man stuff for him. He has a wonderful guy teacher too, the best.

Three blankets, a winter coat, a babushka head scarf, and two cameras - we survived the wind and chill. I put two T-shirts and three shirts on the boy - its a wonder he could bat.

Then, one of his classmates had a birthday party at "Fun City" - oh no, more cold! So off we went for three more hours. I still haven't been able to get warm. He had a time riding all the rides and wanted me take take him to the Monster Truck Show as a finale. I had to tell him that I didn't think I could climb the stairs to the stadium, let alone spend four more hours sitting on cold steel in the cold evening temps.

After I got him settled, I crawled into daughter's bed (she was at work) under her winter weight down blanket and watched "Awake." It was a good movie with a plot that hadn't been beat to death. We slept in this morning and I've been cleaning what I can, changing light bulbs, oiling door hinges, and other maintenance things that have been let go for a long time. I need to get to the ceilings somehow - XSL and "H" dismantled all the smoke alarms while I was gone. I'm not comfortable with that, but climbing to cathedral ceilings on a ladder with balance problems isn't getting me all that excited about that project quite yet. The boy was catching up on homework, the cats curled up in whatever pile of down they could weasel their bodies into.

I missed Downtown Gallery Night, but there will be more this year and Hattigrace told me the best place to go look so I can still see the best of the best.

So it was a great weekend and went by much too fast. Hope ya'll had a good one too.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Being in the Now




Odd photos for the caption, I know - but let me explain. There is a small, very small island in a bay here. It used to have a big mysterious house on it until the night of the hurricane. It's gone now. There was no way to get to it except by boat. I always wanted to boat to the island and see the house.

Today, while driving around the bay to pick up grandson from school, I noticed the sign - "Island for Sale." Now for a daydreaming person, that is like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey. I stopped the car, took some photos and sat and daydreamed for a while. For a house - no - but for a treehouse - wouldn't it be grand to have a tree house on that island in the most humongous tree you could imagine? To spend the night in, to go swimming the next day when it turned hot, to lie high up in the branches and watch the clouds - -

I went to school with a boy who was a boyfriend for a short time - ever notice how short those beginning girl friend/boy friend things are? This kid was sweet as they come. Anyway, I ran into him at our 10th high school reunion. He had become a National Geographic photographer. He said he owned an island. So he said. He wanted me to go there with him. I said no. I should've, maybe. No, I shouldn't have - he said he was living with a woman but implied she was less than adequate - can't remember the terminology. That's why I said no. He could've said "Yes, I have someone, but let's just do it anyway." That would have gotten a maybe. No, no it wouldn't have - - but truth be known I have always wondered "what if." And I wonder what had changed his sweetness so............life I guess.

Maybe I should get a small business loan, buy the island and devlop it. (you would laugh if you saw the size of the island) Buy it and have a tree put there, and a treehouse built and rent it to friends and/or lovers who want to get away for a couple of days and nights - to feel the damp air, listen to the birds and gulls, throw a pole over the floor edge into the water, cook breakfast on a camp stove - "Your Dream Getaway - Tree House Vacation."

The next pic is the silver ring - the image of the stone that will go on it didn't turn out well. The stone is cut pyrite and is black with silver running through it - as if the silver is almost melting through it. If it turns out really well, I might give it to older grandson when he graduates soon.

'Nuff said for now. Except the "nows" seem to hold the "thens" and the dreams for tomorrows within them, don't they? So maybe the ring picture is appropriate after all, the ring is a symbol often for eternity - and that is what the thens, nows, and dreams of the future are.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Super Day..........


Had a wonderful day today. Took time for myself - went to see Doc Lovely in Mobile and came back through the back country roads - stopped at the outdoor veggie market - drove by strawberry fields and cotton fields. Cotton fields are awesome to see. I was sorry I didn't take my camera so I could share the sight. I got lost even though I've traveled that road hundreds of times. But it was a delightful "lost." Beautiful countryside - and so many spring flowers.

The meeting at Doc Lovely's was great, it is nice to have support in health improvement endeavors - sort of like art classes - there is a generating of focused corporate energy that makes things happen. At least I get off the "army rations" and can start to eat some manner of "real" food. I was discouraged going over because older daughter was too tied up to see me so I didn't get to see her or the grandkids this trip. Discouragment decided to eat at the Cuisine of India buffet. I worked myself up into a real desire for green, red, and yellow curry - and when I arrived at the restaurant the sign said "Open" but the doors where locked. Saved! I drank my unsweet tea and ate my army ration on the way home.

I read Doc Lovely's Libido and Sex Transmutation book for men as well today (haha, couldn't put it down) and was that an eye opener!!!!!! I am understanding some dynamics that have heretofore been unknown to me as men do hold their secrets. Things every woman should know about men - and things men should know about men (and women) too! His research is pretty amazing and I believe holds a key to a fulfilling life years past what we ever thought possible.

And speaking of.....next to me in jewelry class is a cute little woman. Tonight she told me she was 75 - I about fell over in unbelief. Then another older guy there laughed and said, yeh, this class is the cheapest Senior Day Care in the State. (Foks over 60 get free tuition to college - at least in this county.)

Class tonight was not on the agenda because my back has been so painful since my trimming binge in the backyard I can hardly move or walk, I'm glad I went...we laughed a lot. I gave in and fished some old pain pills out of my purse and halved them. They killed the nerve pain for an hour each time I took one half, but the spasms are so painful they didn't leave. I did make it through class.

I burned my hand with the torch again - it is beginning to look like barbecued hand. BUT the the solders went perfectly! I discovered silver melts whereas copper, brass, and nickel will take a higher heat. Finishing the ring without melting it will be a delicate balance. So far I have an unfinished pendant, an unfinished copper ring, and an unfinished silver ring.


The guy next to me was working with silver that he made from old coins. He has a coin shop at a nearby flea market. He's interested in making Native American jewelry - I love the turquoise and silver too but would never aspire to the craftsmanship I have seen in squash blossom necklaces and other beautiful native jewelry. I mentioned to him I always wanted some Buffalo Head nickels - and did he have any. Yes, he does and he said he would just give me some. Yay! I will make them into some jewelry.

Enough - more tomorrow - maybe pics of the rings.