I am mindfull of my friend, 4D, who has a tendency to post when he is snockered. Tonight I am snockered. Ugh. Went to the beach today, and then to an art party tonight, wherein I did get snockered. Posting more tomorrow when un-snockered.

More Gardening

Don't I grow great mushrooms?

The real story: the hard worker behind the gardening

The "bush butcher" has struck again - poor palm has been dissected from the bottom up

I never saw an aloe vera plant bloom, have you?

Despite its injuries, palm is putting out new g

Rainy Day Woman 1 and 2

The results are in on the MRI. I have a very severe and complex set of problems from mid back to where my tail bone begins. Next week it looks like I'm going to have several injections into my spine to reduce nerve inflammation (hopefully). Doc says he doesn't know how I'm getting around as the "stenosis" (narrowing of the spinal canal) & disc problems are so severe. I've always been able to tolerate a lot of pain. And, thanks to other Doc., Doc. Lovely, I am getting around, but I want a normal life. Normal! And, now, my right leg is starting to give out under me.

Note: Please do not lift heavy things - get help - especially if you are a woman. Women can have a macho syndrome as well as men (Yah, I confess! I've lifted washers and dryers, worked out with weights way too heavy for a woman) and, believe it, men suffer back damage too. Also, never settle a car accident without an MRI of your back. X-rays show me to have a healthy back. Xrays do not tend to show herniated discs or problems within the spinal canal. You only get one spine for one life. I'm discovering quite a lot as I search for solutions and ways to live with or fix (if possible) this.

I think I found a surgical center in mid-Florida that does non-invasive back surgery. It is necessary to do several for very severe back injuries and the other myriad of spinal problems, but recovery time is a few days compared to months to a year for the kind of surgery that is recommended for me. I'm trusting God to lead me to the right place for treatment and to provide for me so I can have the treatment/surgery or whatever is required.

The good news is, I have now lost 44 pounds. I'm edging on down, its getting a bit more difficult now. The photo is recent - in fact, I'm deep in thought over the back thing. Ha, my tell-tale white door - no, its still not completely painted - one of these days, I'll get it done, along with the windows.

I have changed since coming back from Wyoming. I find that plans are only sort of "maybe maps" for the future. Planning is good - but thinking that everything should go exactly according to "plan" is not so good. Plans need to be made as do goals, but plans also need to be as fluid as goals and we need to retain the ability to readjust when necessary.

So very rainy today, but its kind of sexy out there really. Unless there are tornado warnings and I had better check the TV as it is getting VERY dark out there. UPDATE: I'm editing this and right now am looking out at SUNSHINE and lots of it.

I have a good book about raising independent children and plan to curl up with it, then go to the store for orange juice for the sick boy and some snacks. I'm also out of coffee - that's REALLY unacceptable!

Worse yet, its an incredibly bad hair day!

Freedom Rider

Sitting here at the computer
Looking out at the palm trees now
And its really too dark to see
The wet painting sits behind me

Parrot awaiting his feet
With too many dark circles
Under his eyes

I feel loved tonight for
No particular reason I feel
The darkness cuddles me
Paint colors dazzle me with pleasure

And I love
Doc Lovely, my friends, my Kids & progeny
The smell of oil paints and turps
Seeing my new body in the bathroom mirror

My sister, my cousin and so many, so much
I love
Thank you God for making me

........Lousy poetry, but I had to sing tonight....a bit, I did

Lazy Day with Wistful Wishing

The view out my dirty window - that was one of the main reasons cleaning lady was hired - to get the windows cleaned up from the hurricane 4 years ago - or was it 5? I think I am just going to have to tackle one a day or something like that. What will remove four years of grime, plus well water minerals, plus a paste made of housing insulation from the hurricane? Vinegar, brillo pads?

Maybe next time I'll hang around while she cleans and then say, would you help me with this? No, the poor thing is 7 months pregnant - jees. Although when I think of I what I did when I was pregnant - I worked with one of them even into several hours of labor and stocked groceries through my 7th month with the last. And carried groceries to the pickup for the macho men of Wyoming. (My theory about work, is to work at anything reasonable until you find what you really want, therefore I've had a lot of really different jobs.)

Being tall, most people assume I am also part horse and much lifting, pushing, carrying was demanded of me in younger days (on the home front too) until my discs were crushed.

I put on this big pot of red chili this morning - grandson went out and picked more peppers and also the first yellow squash. So he had yellow squash lightly browned in olive oil for breakfast and the chili is in the crock pot.

"H" invited me to lunch today (yes, what IS cooking?) and I acquiesced, however lunch with a panic attack is not so fun, although it was fabulous food, what I could eat of it. Anyway, I have enough left-overs for two more meals. Now, I'm wondering if it will soon come up that I need to pay him back or if I'm home free. I keep waiting for the papers to show up, but he's acting like he's on his second honeymoon. And, after seeing all this, my youngest daughter is still intent on getting married? Oi.

I'm going to change clothes and paint as daughter is asleep in the living room, and grandson is bunked out watching cartoons - but I'm going to make him turn them off and then read his school library book the rest of the afternoon. Allowing him to continue to watch those things long after he's been told to shut them down is teaching him to not obey. He is not mature enough to make good decisions about how much TV to watch or what to watch. I think I need to go to Barnes and Noble for a day and read some books on how to get your child to do what you want them to do. Not that he's my child - but who knows, it might come in handy for the future.

Speaking of my nanny life, Dr. Lovely is advertising for an executive & personal assistant/nanny/cook/ that is into speaking Spanish and Italian, for three teen age boys. Hmmmm.........how fast can one learn a few phrases? Three teen age boys - oh, they look like angels...like Dr. Lovely....how hard could that be. Never mind. Silly me to even ask, right? But still, three days a week.......oh heck, I can't whip my own house into shape...sometimes I wish I had powers.......you know, those kind.....and Mary Poppins I am not, just a very determined granny....still, to have a house on the bay, an SUV to run the boys in, Dr. Lovely coming home to a gourmet dinner - - - woo hoo. Wonder what he needs assistance with? Oh, just joking....I keep meeting these honorable guys -

Speaking of, I met Joerg from the Tall Women Website he administers. What an adorable kind of guy. We had a nice visit over a cup of Starbucks, and I wonder what makes this guy adore tall women so? And I mean tall - 5'11", 6'4", 6'7" & higher. No ego problems there.....he's found shoes, tall sizes, medical resources, friend resources, and other stuff to aid us women who run against the norms of society. We do get treated differently sometimes - but at least we can drink out of the same water fountains and pee in the same toilets as those of average height...oh boy I am on a roll tonight, best get busy with the paint brushes.

Georgia O'Keefe

The all time sensual flower painter - also known for her skulls and bones and Southwestern landscapes - she is photographed in several poses almost as if she is protecting her heart. A pretty woman, later in life, she was a most gorgeous woman - I would have liked to have met her - living there in the dessert like she was a queen who owned everything as far as her eyes could see and her paintbrush could touch.

Sensual, Sensual Spring

One of the greatest pleasures in my life is to watch things grow. The top photo is the first harvest of peppers. These would make a great painting I think. The bowel is one that I did hand building clay, glazing and firing.

The next two photos are my day lilies - they finally are blooming after two or three years off and are being generous with their blooms!

Then, the orange tree has finished blooming and the tiny oranges are coming on - I'll be alert this year and spray them with an oil to keep the bugs away and buy a tent for them so the birds won't peck them.

Sex, sex, everywhere. I find it amazing and awesome that God created us with so much connection to the earth's plants - the soft folds of flowers, the alert pistol of the plant - all for reproduction...and I dare say, our viewing pleasure. I think of Georgia O'Keefe, master painter of flowers, out there in the dessert, painting even skulls and bones with a softness and visual allurement.

I watch the blooms on the squash plants and the cucumbers begin to form into the vegetable. I'm thinking too, as well, God made those not only for pleasure, but for purpose - like we are made - I wonder if they experience pleasure in their reproduction and growing?

Happy Mother's Day & Stuff

This is the second attempt at posting today. Its been a busy day. I cleaned house until I couldn't move anymore only to have it demolished when everyone arrived here toward the end of the day. Oh well, what is more important? The people!!! The people within the house. Homes aren't museums, but people-holders, right? Ideally, people havens. Right? Right.

Anyway, last night was so much fun. Grandson's school had an Arts and Literature night combined with a spaghetti supper. I was asked to bring some paintings and one in progress to work on and give a demonstration. There were potters, jewelry makers, and other artists and the kids all had a ball.

I had made some headway for several days on Parrot. Some of the children would stand watching for a long time. I would ask if they would like to paint some strokes. Of course they did. They respectfully stayed in the areas I asked them to, and one little boy did stray - but he was a little boy genius with the paint brush. I let him work on the banana stalk and the parrot beak. He later came by to check to see if I had changed his marks (I hadn't - they will stay there forever.) Later his grandmother shared with me that he was "obsessive-compulsive" and had a great deal of difficulty in school because of it and whatever could make him feel good about himself was appreciated. I told her she really did have an incredible child as far as painting went and to encourage it. So many labels for children anymore......

Was able to spend some time with grandson's teacher and meet his little boy, well, not so little. His daughter had done an incredible pastel drawing of a dragon. I have never seen such an outstanding public school....I wish our boy had the chance to go there a couple of years earlier.

Sunday I plan to meet a friend from up north for a bit of grown up time, and another artist friend emailed and has been missing me - I am so bad when it comes to friends and things outside my four walls...tomorrow going to the beach and sitting in the sun and letting the waves and water sounds soothe sounds like a winner - grandson wants to see Ironman, the movie. That's a lot for one day.

Mother's Day is Sunday - having my kids and grandkids doing well is present enough, and I will treat myself to a nice lunch of diet food. Maybe a new pair of capris. The two interim pairs are sliding down my hips, woo hoo, some more - Dr. Lovely - here is a big kiss for you! I'm beginning to think the medical establishment/pharmaceuticals/government are getting big payoffs to keep us fat and sick. Doc Lovely swims upstream against the flow and pioneers away.

Anyway, its getting HOT here - well, not hot, but in the 80's. Southerners get cold when it gets humid, but I start cooking - to me its like a steam bath. The fewer clothes the better. So anyway, it'll be another day, Mother's Day, but then I've had some fabulous ones at beach condos and given a golden ring with precious stones for each child's and grandchild's birthday sign and wined and dined - I'm content to see what God brings me for the day.

Younger daughter is engaged and I find myself involved, or rather sharing in her plans. We picked out a wedding dress yesterday. She thinks its the dress - we'll see. But she's secretly dreaming of a Las Vegas Elvis Blue Hawaii wedding - I told her I bet we could come up with one given enough time right here where we are. Wouldn't that be fun!

Anyway, all you mothers, whether to kids or cats, have a great day, ok?

Bad Man Speak

I am currently busy writing a new language translation. It has been a life long work.

Examples of phrases and translations, hidden meanings depending on cultural assumptions:

"I am not gambling." "I don't know how that betting magazine that arrives in the mail got my name."
Translation: "I've lost too much money."
Hidden meaning:"No you can't have $5.00, we can't we afford a chicken for supper for the kids"

"I don't remember."
Translation: "Shut up."
Hidden meaning: "I really slipped when I told you how much I wanted someone else while we had sex."

"I didn't say that."
Translation: "Oh, no, she caught me."
Hidden meaning: I was mad over spending $50.00 on some medicine for her and went and told everyone I was dumping her. They were really impressed because of all the difficulties she's had the last year and one half, so they called her and gave her a warning."

"I don't lie."
Translation: "I don't know how to tell the truth, therefore I don't know I am lying."

"I can't talk to you like I can talk to her, I can tell her anything."
Translation: "I won't talk to you because I am terrified of intimacy, but I can tell her what a rotten wife you are."
"Hidden meaning:" I spent $800 buying dollhouses from her because she needed the money and then gave them to my children for Christmas presents, never mind they didn't ever in their entire lives ask for dollhouses for Christmas."

"Oh, those boxes and stacks and more boxes of books, CD's and DVD's, and magazines, and periodicals, etc. don't cost me anything."
Translation: "Oooops, I didn't think you'd notice."

"You spent all the tax money, you irresponsible B-----."
Translation: "I need more money for bills now that I've had a gambling loss, etc. and I'm really regretting buying you that new outfit."
Hidden meaning: "Uh, what do you mean the tax rebate hasn't arrived yet?"

Entertaining, yes? Best seller material? Definitely.

Note: One must spend many years with Bad Man before understanding the Speak, therefore the new translations are a ground breaking new book!

Ok guys, I know you are going to trump me one..........I'm waiting.

Happy Birthday from the Shark Pool to my Sister

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER, MINE!!!!

Wish you were here - we'd go down to the Jellyfish Bar and Boogie. We would. Or wherever they boogie nowadays. Florabama? There we could not only boogie, but sling some mullet!!!!

All in a Day's Time

Come on, already, I said I want in!


Scream louder and pick on the screen with your claws, that'll bring her for sure.


Back in Mobile again.


'Shroom garden



The pretty Gerberas


Grape tomatoes - won't be long now.


Pink rose hiding in non-blooming Day Lillies


Big Meowie ready for bed.

Buyers' Regret

I went shopping today, I hate shopping. Used to love it. Even when I didn't have any money to spend. Didn't have that much today, but looking decent in clothes caused me to go unwisely, even for a sale, a bit bonkers - I needed something for a funeral and a "meet the family" dinner besides the clothes I garden or exercise in - but didn't want to get any mid weight loss clothes. But did. I bought two outfits. I like them. No, I love them. But I am having what marketers call "buyer's regret." Oh, well, stop with the negative - I will have all I need when I need it if I don't start getting way negative and a couple of outfits will not change the way the universe spins.

So much of what goes on in the today grows from roots of yesterday, doesn't it? Here, a step dad who was too stingy (fear, in his roots?) to buy clothing for his kids, a mother who did her best, but hid the clothing to pay the dues later, and what did I do? What I was taught, married someone who hates me buying any thing, even with my own earnings, especially clothes and flowers for my garden. But then if you are with someone who will not communicate, one really doesn't know for sure what they are mad about, so perhaps there has been a lot of unhealthy assuming.

Very unhealthy, mind you . . . but YES, I hid them. But this time for the funeral, he said "get an outfit." Errrrrrrk - he did not say two outfits. But wait a minute - wasn't half that tax return mine? ...and here we go....jeez....get healthy, self, will you, already?

Maybe will post a pic next week or whenever I can get back to the 'puter and quit feeling guilty that I bought two.

What makes the above sort of funny for me, is that in marketing class, my professor covered the very process almost down to the exact process above. He and I used to have a good laugh over my buying stories, it was so entertaining for me to find out this "syndrome" is documented as part of a marketing course.

Speaking of weight loss - am really stuck. Beeeeeg plateau. Doc prescribed that wonderful pill that helps so much with pain and my feet felt weird last night - I looked down and they looked like corpse feet. Or eggplants. They were purple, red, and SWOLLEN! Called the doc and he ordered me in for visit today. Nothing serious. We don't think anyway. So gave me water pills. Suspense - will that break the platt toe?

Did I mention the pills make me goofy and I can't remember my name?

Under Construction

Still planting! Today we bought Gerbera daisies, a blue bush to bring butterflies and birds, and some fire plant. I had to pull more of that devilish dollar weed before putting these in the ground. I love the bright simplicity of the Gerberas. The roses are blooming nicely.

Called the doc and told him, I'm done, can't stand the pain or being sick from the pain meds. He phoned me in something that is taken regularly twice a day for seizures, it just happened that a discovery was made that nerve pain was helped with this med. It does help a lot - but its only a "masking," I can tell. Also it makes me very dizzy and loopy (mmmm, what else is new?) so its not the answer. I also got a referral to a pain clinic that specializes in nerve blocks. We'll see, I go next week.

The calendar is whopping full until mid May.

My hair is now very short - don't know if I like it - went to Walmart and bought some large earrings. (Not driving across town to avoid Walmart!) We'll see. It's easier - just spray and push it around.

Psycho has peed on the boy's school backpack. I had covered the catnip with a laundry basket with a brick on top of it. Have the cats figured out a way to chew the plant to the roots anyway? Of course. Devious little whiskered varmints.

I've been watching the last three seasons of Nip/Tuck. And getting a lot of the elliptical done with the pain meds and the edited (no commercials) version. I have laughed, I have cried, I have identified, I have thought how ridiculous, yet I'm hooked. I don't usually like anything that has a lot of visuals on sex thrown in purely for entertainment value - I'm old fashioned enough to think that belongs in private. But somehow the steamy scenes fit in with the series without driving me bonkers. The writers and directors are brilliant as well as the leads. So, this is confession time, I have been hooked - popping in and out of these when I'm alone and no one is there to corrupt besides myself.

Still following the fast from negative thinking studies and reading the Bible and Tolle's book as well. A contradiction? I don't think so - maybe some do.

Still sorting clothes - egad. So hard to get rid of them out of fear that I'll gain it back. Especially with these sodium based pain meds - I'm not losing so fast now.

It is in the upper 70's and I think summer has landed - it will get hotter and steamy and that is my luscious Southland!

A Pea Green Kind of Life

Clothes! I'm still working on weeding out my closet.

See, its a problem because I think things should last forever. I tried on a twenty year old pants suit, No problem, it's still good - isn't it? Yeh, it is still good, but its not me. Never was. It's causing me to squeak putting away the big clothes that are still new (uh, new to me is three years old and under) though I'll never be an executive whatever any more - I don't need them - thank God.

I've never really known how to dress for sure - to please myself and other's expectations - often the two have been at odds - I always have gone against the flow of what is currently fashionable, or pushed over the edge a bit past trendy, but the last two years I have been buying what is timeless. I haven't purchased much at all compared to most people I know. I love the new slim looks, the geometrics, the cuts of the clothing - I would stay in this era forever!!!

I tried on the pea green outfit, era - uh, I don't remember - a mark down Liz Claiborne - and the pants were super baggy in the seat and legs - the top seemed to flare around the middle after I had sat down for a while. I looked in the mirror today and wondered what I could have been thinking to buy it even if it was on sale. Perhaps it was an effort to look appropriately middle aged????

Still, I wonder how to dress "appropriately" even now. My guts tell me to dress like me - to decorate my body with lush splashes of color and fabrics that flow in celebration. I look around in church - let's see, a blouse, slacks, lace up shoes - maybe an occasional pair of heels - a jacket. Well, the pastor's wife is middle age and she's HOT - geometric sleeveless dresses - blue jeans, cute sandal shoes. Looking good. Hmmmmmm. Should I end the wondering and just be ME, and wear what I like?

Never will forget one place I worked about 20 years ago. One day I wore black stretch leggings and was called in and told I couldn't wear knit pants unless the top came down over my hips. ????? Thereafter I went through a stage of wearing clothing a size too large.

Another place of work: I made a gorgeous black with red flowers flowing dress and wore it without a bra. The boss was a happy man.

The tattoo I guess was a way of waving goodbye to a pea green kind of life...and clothing. (Funny how doing stuff that is good for us sometimes doesn't feel so good on one level.) Give me the happy geometrics! The bright colors - bubbles, circles, combinations - clingy, so what - everyone just about seems to have a bit of extra at the waist. And if the tattoo peeks out - so?

Ok, I now feel better for getting the pea green outfit and the others to the Goodwill box. Just takes a bit of reflection.

Wish I was here.

Can't post much today - "H" on the warpath because I forgot to turn off the water in the flower bed - cleaning lady coming and I have a mess to try to clean up so she can clean - stuff needs sorted and disposed of and put away - its going to be one of those days that I am going to have to go look for something to do to get away from the "seething." The sun is shining. Maybe the beach for a walk if not some browning of the body covering -

God grant me the wisdom to change the things I can, to not worry about the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference - something like that. LOL, maybe I should go find an Alanon meeting.

So, I have to get moving - have a great day everyone.

So Much Fun.............

What a weekend! First we rescued a turtle from the highway - poor thing was lumbering along and stopped - I pulled off the road, put up my hand as a sign for the traffic to stop, and ran out and lifted him up. We put him in the wading pool until we could find a place away from a four lane highway for him. Today we located a wonderful place, a large acreage with ponds, and it was fenced as well. When I picked him up for transport, he was strangely still. He didn't make it - perhaps he'd been hit - yet one part of me feels like a murderess or something for interfering with nature - but I could not stand driving away letting him get smashed.

We had a baseball game, a trip to Target where I found a couple of things on sale to fit, the boy had crawfish at a buffet and chocolate eclairs. We moved on to Albertsons to pick up a prescription for a new non-narcotic pain med for me and Lean Cuisines (under 300 cal) for my meals. Next, came the ice cream store which I navigated through managing not to get ice cream.

The first dose of the pain med felt like three Martguerita's - which is nice - but, hey, most of my life is spent needing to function on all cylinders. Oh well, the pain was like 65% reduced. Now, I realize how bad I really was hurting as I'm on my second day of meds. I hope the "woo woo" feeling will pass. Apparently the med was/is used for seizure control and they found out it also controlled nerve pain. Ok, we'll give it a whirl.

Today was Missions Conference day and I met up with many old friends and folks I had assisted while they lived on the foreign field, and old friends from school days who came from all over the country to participate. I will go to a luncheon Tuesday to spend further time with some pastors and the missionaries - these were nine years of my life.

I was particularly intrigued with the talks from the folks in Nepal and then in a town in Chechnya, which was southern Russia. It is only a few miles from some "hot spots." I would like to go there in July. I'm going to look into it. Maybe it'll work out, maybe not. That's not much time in which to raise money.

The top photo is a fella that is completely nuts - in a good, fun way. He's worked in England, Philippines, and South Africa. He makes everyone laugh - he was on a TV show in England and had people rolling on the floor with laughter.

I also burned up my heavy duty shredder. Grandson inherited the insides and tinkered all afternoon with it.

Then last we did more gardening. Still have so much more to go - but I'm enjoying very consciously not "thinking" but being in the now with the dirt, the silence, and the war with the dollar weed!

Have a Great Weekend.

As a relief from the two disturbing posts previous to this, here is the orange first rose of summer. Isn't she gorgeous?

Do We Really Want to Eat This?

Yes, I'm on a roll this a.m.! Check out the new link on the left to Scientific...etc.
Also view:



I will never darken Kentucky Fried Chickens' drive through windows (or walk-in) again. And I thought China was bad, and we haven't cleaned up our own yard, so to speak.

Lately, I have noticed that sometimes I will get a chicken from the grocery store and I have to throw it away because the meat is mushy. The video probably explains why. If one jumps and stomps on live chickens for a long enough period of time I guess the meat would get mushy. The last one I bought from "H"'s store was awful - since he goes there everyday I asked him to take it back and get my money back, pick up another from a store he drives by on his way home (cheaper there too) and he could have the leftover money for gas. I got lambasted - that was the last big chicken fight - to me to return the chicken with an explanation would not only have been a good financial thing to do, but would also let the store know that the meat was unacceptable so they could maybe do something about it. This would also save me 40 miles of driving to make an extra trip to that store and seemed more environmentally sane as well. But then I have to admit, I have one of those inferior female brains. So what do I know?

OK! The computer goes off now for the day. I am moving on...........

Weapons of Mass Destruction in the Back Yard

My question is, why don't we just move it overseas like they did with our manufacturing, computer, and other jobs? Huh?

Dangerous Animal Virus on US Mainland?
By LARRY MARGASAK,
AP
Posted: 2008-04-11 08:29:54
Filed Under: Nation News, Science News
WASHINGTON (April 11) - The Bush administration is likely to move its research on one of the most contagious animal diseases from an isolated island laboratory to the U.S. mainland near herds of livestock, raising concerns about a catastrophic outbreak.

Skeptical Democrats in Congress are demanding to see internal documents they believe highlight the risks and consequences of the decision. An epidemic of the disease, foot and mouth, which only affects animals, could devastate the livestock industry.

One such government report, produced last year and already turned over to lawmakers by the Homeland Security Department, combined commercial satellite images and federal farm data to show the proximity to livestock herds of locations that have been considered for the new lab. "Would an accidental laboratory release at these locations have the potential to affect nearby livestock?" asked the nine-page document. It did not directly answer the question.

A simulated outbreak of the disease - part of an earlier U.S. government exercise called "Crimson Sky" - ended with fictional riots in the streets after the simulation's National Guardsmen were ordered to kill tens of millions of farm animals, so many that troops ran out of bullets. In the exercise, the government said it would have been forced to dig a ditch in Kansas 25 miles long to bury carcasses. In the simulation, protests broke out in some cities amid food shortages.

"It was a mess," said Sen. Pat Roberts, R-Kan., who portrayed the president in the 2002 exercise. Now, like other lawmakers from the states under consideration, Roberts supports moving the government's new lab to his state. Manhattan, Kan., is one of five mainland locations under consideration. "It will mean jobs" and spur research and development, he says.

The other possible locations for the new National Bio-and Agro-Defense Facility are Athens, Ga.; Butner, N.C.; San Antonio; and Flora, Miss. The new site could be selected later this year, and the lab would open by 2014. The numbers of livestock in the counties and surrounding areas of the finalists range from 542,507 in Kansas to 132,900 in Georgia, according to the Homeland Security study.

Foot-and-mouth virus can be carried on a worker's breath or clothes, or vehicles leaving a lab, and is so contagious it has been confined to Plum Island, N.Y., for more than a half-century - far from commercial livestock. The existing lab is 100 miles northeast of New York City in the Long Island Sound, accessible only by ferry or helicopter. Researchers there who work with the live virus are not permitted to own animals at home that would be susceptible, and they must wait at least a week before attending outside events where such animals might perform, such as a circus.

The White House says modern safety rules at labs are sufficient to avoid any outbreak. But incidents in Britain have demonstrated that the foot-and-mouth virus can cause remarkable economic havoc - and that the virus can escape from a facility.

An epidemic in 2001 devastated Britain's livestock industry, as the government slaughtered 6 million sheep, cows and pigs. Last year, in a less serious outbreak, Britain's health and safety agency concluded the virus probably escaped from a site shared by a government research center and a vaccine maker. Other outbreaks have occurred in Taiwan in 1997 and China last year and in 2006.

If even a single cow signals an outbreak in the U.S., emergency plans permit the government to shut down all exports and movement of livestock. Herds would be quarantined, and a controlled slaughter could be started to stop the disease from spreading.

Infected animals weaken and lose weight. Milk cows don't produce milk. They remain highly infectious, even if they survive the virus.

The Homeland Security Department is convinced it can safely operate the lab on the mainland, saying containment procedures at high-security labs have improved. The livestock industry is divided. Some experts, including the former director at the aging Plum Island Animal Disease Center, say research ought to be kept away from cattle populations - and, ideally, placed where the public already has accepted dangerous research.

The former director, Dr. Roger Breeze, suggested the facility could be safely located at the Atlanta campus of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, or at Fort Detrick in Frederick, Md., home of The United States Army Medical Research Institute for infectious diseases.

Another possibility, Breeze said, is on Long Island, where there is no commercial livestock industry. That would allow retention of most of the current Plum Island employees.

Asked about the administration's finalist sites located near livestock, Breeze said: "It seems a little odd. It goes against the ... safety program of the last 50 years."

The former head of the U.S. Agriculture Department's Agricultural Research Service said Americans are not prepared for a foot-and-mouth outbreak that has been avoided on the mainland since 1929.

"The horrific prospect of exterminating potentially millions of animals is not something this country's ready for," said Dr. Floyd Horn.

The Agriculture Department ran the Plum Island lab until 2003. It was turned over to the Homeland Security Department because preventing an outbreak is now part of the nation's biological defense program.

Plum Island researchers work on detection of the disease, strategies to control epidemics including vaccines and drugs, tests of imported animals to ensure they are free of the virus and training of professionals.

The new facility will add research on diseases that can be transferred from animals to humans. The Plum Island facility is not secure enough to handle that higher-level research.

Leaders of the House Energy and Commerce Committee also are worried about the lab's likely move to the mainland. The chairman, Rep. John Dingell, D-Mich., and the head of the investigations subcommittee, Rep. Bart Stupak, D-Mich., are threatening to subpoena records they say Homeland Security is withholding from Congress. Those records include reports about "Crimson Sky," an internal review about a publicized 1978 accidental release of foot-and-mouth disease on Plum Island and reports about any previously undisclosed virus releases on the island during the past half century.

The lawmakers set a deadline of Friday for the administration to turn over reports they requested. Otherwise, they warned in a letter to Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, they will arrange a vote next week to issue a congressional subpoena.

A new facility at Plum Island is technically a possibility. Signs point to a mainland site, however, after the administration spent considerable time and money scouting new locations. Also, there are financial concerns about operating from a location accessible only by ferry or helicopter.

The Homeland Security Department says laboratory animals would not be corralled outside the new facility, and they would not come into contact with local livestock. All work with the virus and lab waste would be handled securely and any material leaving would be treated and monitored to ensure it was sterilized.

"Containment technology has improved dramatically since foot-and-mouth disease prohibitions were put in place in 1948," Homeland Security spokeswoman Amy Kudwa said.

Cattle farmers and residents are divided over the proposal to move the lab to the mainland.

"I would like to believe we could build a facility, with the knowledge and technology we have available, that would be basically safe from a bio-security standpoint," said John Stuedemann, a cattle farmer near Athens, Ga., and a former scientist at the Agriculture Department.

Nearby, community activist Grady Thrasher in Athens is worried about an outbreak from a research lab. Thrasher, a former securities lawyer, has started a petition drive against moving the lab to Georgia, saying the risks are too great.

"There's no way you can balance that equation by putting this in the middle of a community where it will do the most harm," Thrasher said. "The community is now aroused, so I think we have a majority against this."

In North Carolina, commissioners in Granville County originally endorsed moving the lab to their area but later withdrew support. Officials from Homeland Security ultimately met with residents for more than four hours, but the commissioners have taken no further action to back the facility.

"Accidents are going to happen 50 years down the road or one year down the road," said Bill McKellar, a pharmacist in Butner, N.C., who leads an opposition group that has formed a research committee of lawyers and doctors.

Whole Lotta Shakin Going On

Dear heavens - I have been on the computer for about two hours trying to make MySpace work for me. I still don't care for it. But we'll see. I came back to blogspot today - it feels like a warm robe on a cold winter day - comforting somehow. I think MySpace is for the youngsters - but hey, I'm hip. Old, but hip.

Dang, the Blue Angels are practicing and shredding my nerves - I guess its that time of year. I will be back later to comment. Just checking in. I can't think with my walls shaking.

Yeh, too much coffee too.

Oh - the first rose of summer is breaking out in bloom - orange as sherbet! I continue trying to weed the flower bed, a bit at a time, so slow, so slow. I have to fertilize the grass somehow - will figure it out. Then I'm going to write a book on how to continue to live life with a bad spine.

Tall Women Rock

I'm blogging like crazy this weekend!!! Well, it is raining.

I just found a Tall Woman's Website, its marvelous. Loved the above video.

Catniposa Ecstarocia or "I get High with the Help of My Friends"

Dried catnip is usually a treat for the cats. When I planted my herbs and vegetable starts, I decided maybe a little of the fresh stuff would be nice. I have also heard of using catnip tea for various ailments. If it works for cats, why not humans. Well, the start for the catnip is now covered over with a laundry basket and a brick, as the cats nibbled off most of the start and rolled in that. Then Psycho began eating the dirt around the plant. Whoa. That must be strong stuff. How's that for a blast from the 70's?

Raining here - and I hoped for sunshine. We'll see what the morning brings, this may mean no softball practice. So besides enabling cats to get high, I'm not sure what is on the agenda this weekend.

I had better get a shower and prepare some breakfast just in case there is baseball practice. So I will leave you and wish you a very good weekend.

Early Friday a.m. befor a Happy, Happy Weekend.

Have a great weekend everyone.

I'm back to the ballfield.

Still trying to quit thinking negative/uncontrolled thoughts.

Trying to stop wondering if the mental states of people around me are a by product of tap water filled with prescription med residue.

Why? Why? Why? It just is.

I think I need a program - Al Anon?

There is squeaking in my walls. Are the mice having sex? (I only want to know, because baby mice will be a problem.) I am not kinky. Well, a little, maybe.

I let the cat in when she started tearing the screen off. I had to let Psycho out last night because he was all over the counters, the stove, the sinks, but he didn't come in with the screen tearer. Is he ok?

My back has felt reasonable for two days. And the vegetables are planted. Cucumber, 3 different types of peppers, tomato, thyme, basil, and catnip..........catnip probably will have a difficult time surviving - it attracts cats (no duh), cats that roll in it and bite off the new shoots. Maybe I should chew it?

My tooth hurts - I need to see the dentist - drat, I know I'm looking at half a grand with it.

I ate chocolate yesterday, last night. It was good.

I yelled at the boy because he is beginning to refuse to mind me and will have to go back to school without his assignments done because he is refusing to do them.

I slam the door to "H's" bedroom cave because he will not participate in life. That is, anyone else's life.

I regret both.

Toller's book is not for me. I've spent days trying to get through it, and he is just on a different planet than I am. I continue with my fasting from negative thoughts devotions, trying, trying, trying. I can't do it myself, I need God's help. There I differ from Toller. I am not God. Knowledge does not free me - I agree that is the first step, knowing that we need to change and what we need to change, but then we humans fool ourselves - and I think that is what Toller refers to as Ego, and the followers of Christ refer to as the "flesh" or "fallen man." I still have to rely on God to show me what I need to change because there are things in myself that I lie (or don't realistically see) to myself about. And for me, only a supernatural power (God) working within me frees me, enables me to change. But I am not God. So, I leave ascended consciousness or whatever it is to Toller and seek to become more Christ-like, or Christ filled. I yearn that "I would decrease so He could increase in me." I believe God wants the "I" to be very present or it wouldn't be there in the first place, but to have the "I" subdued and yoked with God. That way we could do ANYTHING, even replace fear with faith.

It's now 5:30 a.m. and Psycho is home and it is 73 degrees outside. I will pack the swimsuits and towels with the baseball gear - we'll go eat at the Shrimp Basket and at least walk the beach and splash a bit today - I bet it will reach at least 80 degrees. I love you, sunshine.

Missions conference is this weekend, a Nepalese friend will be here and I can find out what is happening in Nepal as well as Tibet from the people's point of view. I will see my beautiful friend from Kenya who has orphanages for street kids. I just received photos of 29 new kids coming in. I check my budget to see if I can get out the ridiculously low amount it takes to support one for a year and allow them to go to school. I will see my friend who is a medical missionary in the jungles of Nicaragua. I will cry when 100 people march through the church carrying flags high in the air from as many nations.

It will be a good weekend, one in which I am thankful for the gift of being alive, for sunshine, for the boy, for a beautiful, if a bit small, home, for dirt and plants, and grass, for little boys and girls playing baseball, for left over pot roast, even for the challenge of getting the clothes washed and dried without bending over and starting a war with pinched nerves. Yeh!

Cougar

Red posted a beautiful post about big cats which prompted me to share my experience with a big cat.

The above cougars are prints from oils done by a Wyoming artist who lived out on a ranch and painted incredibly realistic wildlife in dreamy backgrounds. She is now passed away, but I have three limited edition prints - The above two cougers: "Footloose" and "Golden Eyes." The coyote below is called "Belly Deep and Blowin'"


It is surprising I feel any affinity for cougars or wildlife of any kind.

Doesn't everyone have a crazy uncle tucked away in the family closet somewhere? Well, ours is buried now - which makes us all a lot safer, but this is where the cougar story starts.

This wacked out uncle would try to tame anything that walked out of the forest, prairie, den, tree, or other wild place. All the family members have stories to tell of being attacked by a coyote, a bob cat, a badger, or, yes, a cougar. I was around the cougar a lot. It had its front claws and fangs removed. Still, several hundred pounds of putty tat that would lie on top of cupboards so it could swat visitors (crazy uncle thought that was hilarious) was a bit scary. Once he claimed the cougar was constipated - I must have been ten years old - he told me to hold the cougar down while he gave it castor oil. The cougar was at least twice my size and it was quite a wrestling match with uncle standing by laughing his crazy head off. Finally he held the cat down while I straddled its broad chest and poured down a bottle of castor oil. I never did find out if the cat had a proper movement.

Another time he and my mother decided a picnic would be fun for my sister and I. They threw us in the back of the pickup with the cougar that, once we hit open road, heading for a remote mountain area and all the exciting smells added to the smell of little girls in deep fear, made the cougar start screaming. Ever heard a cougar scream? You will never forget it.

We lived through it. My sister came back with a huge burn on her temple where a discarded cigarette blew back and burnt her.

Next, Uncle decided to take a male cousin rabbit hunting, claiming the cougar was as good as any hunting dog. Yeh, you betcha. So off they went, until they came back to town full speed - Togie, the poor cougar who knew no better, got a whiff of rabbit blood and turned on my cousin and pretty effectively shredded my cousin's face with what was left of his cougar chompers. My cousin carries the scars to this day.

Needless to say, Togie went to cougar heaven that fateful day.

Why our parents put up with this behavior, (not from the cougar, but the crazy uncle) I will never know. A psychologist I once visited said, "Gee you kids were at risk, weren't you?" We all thought it was normal, what did we know?

Meeeeeeeeeeeoooowwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Diverging from the cat story, another fun thing my uncle planned for children was to take them "snipe" hunting. There was a small lake on the property and when it became dark, one child at a time was taken to sit by the lake to watch for the "snipes." I became very conditioned to love the night as I sat there alone, feeling brave to overcome the fear, and looking at the stars shining on the lake, inhaling the prairie and sagebrush smells as adrenaline, like electricity, would course through my body at any sound. I was also aware that big kitty cats, rattlesnakes, coyotes, an occasional bear, or bald eagle looking for prey roamed the area. Later I read in my textbook studies similar methods were used by satanists to condition children. No wonder there are more than a few in this family with anxiety problems.

Anyway, the good news is that I have no fear of any animal, but proper respect is due each one, besides strange large dogs (because I was bitten once) and am often found leaning over a zoo enclosure telling whatever is caged up that it is such a lovely creature and I hope it's happy.

What's Happening Here....

The kitty is our Psycho cat when he was an adolescent. His cold continues and one other cat has it mildly. The vet said to watch them, but mostly it was like a human cold but not interspecies transmittable. Isn't he cute - just makes you want to kiss his little cat lips (until you remember where they've been).

Sunday I sat on my haunches and dug weeds and planted some vegetables in the flower garden and some herbs, fertilized, babied existing plants, and watered. I managed to get up but could not lift my feet, so I shuffled in, and spent the next 18 hours in bed, afraid that it might be permanent. Turning over was excruciating. This morning I am up and better. Well, I can't totally walk upright, but I can walk without pain. It was so much fun being in the warm sun and earth, I couldn't be moderate.

All the sorting and getting "rid of" that I've been doing for a year is starting to show - today I walked in the house and there was a quiet, sort of serene atmosphere and I almost cried I was so thankful. That lasted two hours, the kitchen table is covered again - ahhhhhhhhhh. The pantry is back intact after the bug wars, with snacks in clear plastic containers (thanks, W.C.).

Have hit the 35 pounds mark in pounds lost - the scale didn't move, and didn't move, and didn't move - then two mornings ago, wow! I was happy. Am happy. Except I'm finding a bit of baggage I don't remember having when I was younger and my clothes are fitting even worse - but not complaining, not complaining.

Daughter just called this a.m. and the medical trip is off, instead I think I will drive to Doc Lovely's and spend a lot of time in prayer for her and her family. Supernatural help is needed when raising teenagers - true! She says a storm is coming this way from Birmingham - we'll see - I feel adventurous! I'll pick up fresh strawberries from the farm.


Forty days of negative thought fasting continues - the dailies are coming so fast, they are hard to keep up with, let alone blog them. I may give a summary a bit down the road. Spring break here and no classes - so I feel free as a bird for a few days.

Trapping Aliens

Having awakened two nights in a row to sounds of breaking glass, splashing noises, and a mess to clean up, I came up with a brilliant idea to catch the midnight counter top marauders.

We heard little smacking sounds as they landed on the tape, then "thump," when they jumped quickly off! Within two nights they decided they don't like walking on places that are sticky. We can now place a vase of flowers on the counter top without having to clean broken glass mixed with water and flowers. They won't even brave the tape for their usual food raids........They wouldn't stay long enough for me to get photos of their gleaming little cat eyes in the dark. They know enough not to jump on top of the stove - so I think they will remember the icky tape and desist.

Jocelyn's date showed up one night and asked why we had upside down tape all over our counter tops. With a serious look on my face, I told him we were catching aliens. It was so much fun to observe his face.

What a week! Tuesday I prepped for happy sleep tests as the docs want assurance of no internal bleeding. I was pretty much out of commission for at least 24-36 hours. I don't know what kind of drugs these guys use, but I was begging for the anesthesiologist to come by my house at 10:00 p.m. nightly with his needle and bottles. However I was informed he had been propositioned by many so I would have to get in line. Actually I've been pretty tired since then, so I wouldn't want his cocktail EVERY night. Everything was fine - I knew it was, so back to the blood doctor to figure out why I seem to be short of the stuff, though the tests were better for a while, but most recent one somewhat depleted. How could that be so fast?

Then - we found little Miller-like bugs in the pantry. That wasn't the worst of it, upon investigation, we found them in every step of bug development. Sooooooo......it has taken three of us since Tuesday evening to unload everything, inspect it, wash it or throw it away, wash inside of pantry, and then put everything back - well, I still have two large boxes to inspect, sort, and put away. I was so tired by this afternoon that I started watching "Dead Man Walking" with Sean Penn and fell asleep during part of it sitting up. I will never make remarks about old people sleeping while they sit up again.

On my list of to-do's are "the oranges." They have dark spots on the skin. I need to take them to the nursery and see if they are edible. I already cut a few and they are delicious, but don't want to feed my family some exotic fungus, if that is the cause of the spots.

Oh well, the price of living in paradise.

We all have colds or allergies, even the wicked cat, Psycho. He is sneezing, eyes watering and sleeping next to us at every opportunity, rather than terrorizing the neighborhood rats. Ms. Meowi and Big Meowi were clobbering each other today. Better be no abscesses or I will get them jobs to pay vet bills.

I've had taxes done for quite a while, but "H" doesn't trust me and wants someone from H & R Block to review them - and I'm freaking because the deadline is getting really close and the folder is still laying on my desk. TaxAct software is a breeze - even handled my quirky transactions last year brilliantly.

Day 12 of Negative Thought fasting - I have to get back into the right frame of mind. I'll hop on over to everyone's blogs after I get the boy to bed and try not to be negative. :)

Strawberry Fields.....forever?

The Easter weekend was way too short. The boy's and my short trip to Alabama was wonderful. The strawberry fields are producing, the green of the countryside is intensified against the foreground of intricate still-bare pecan trees that have not yet leafed. Thousands of azaleas are blooming in dazzling color, and the weather is "perfect."

The strawberry fields we have watched and eaten from the past 20 years reflect life's cycles have shrunk in acreage to a bare minimum planting. Instead of overflowing boxes for sale, each small basket is full of sweet large berries, but in less amounts though no less delicious in their freshly picked glory. Things change. The hurricane changed things forever here - many things will never be the same.

I had a good visit with my oldest daughter and my older grandson. My poor granddaughter was in bed in pain. I put my cool hands against her throbbing head and prayed for her. If only love could make people well! Today, I will make phone calls to help "M" find a surgeon for a second opinion. Her chest wall is pressing upon her lungs and heart. A major surgery has been recommended. She has already been through so much with the other surgery.

Today's fasting from negative thoughts: Get rid of "Grasshopper Thinking." This is the mentality that tells us we are tiny and ineffectual grasshoppers in the face of big problems. Another surgery with a long recovery time is a big problem for her to face. And, really, when those you love suffer, the pain is in you as well - I would gladly have the surgery for her if I could. We all have to put on our armour so we can surround her with strength and faith and courage and love. We have a higher resource upon which to draw all we need.

I wish now for the agreement and power that a couple can have when they stand together. I wish for strength for the kids and grandkids that could be a rock for them if it weren't for selfish ego. Reality does not present that option, so I reach for my God's hand and wait eagerly for that yoke that will take some of the care off my shoulders.

The rest of the weekend went too fast. "J" had to work 17 hours from Saturday to Sunday in a long stretch, so she arrived at Easter services in her hospital clothes looking dazed and bedraggled. We then went home so she could clean up for lunch at the Olive Garden and a Dr. Seuss movie. Out of the four of us "who" went, two napped through the movie. We still haven't dyed eggs. Maybe tomorrow. The boy and "J" woke up with very sore throats this morning. I had planned to take the boy to the beach for a buffet, but we had a good time and Olive Garden is always high on his list!

I had dropped a pretty good bunch of pounds yesterday, but today, probably because of salty soup, salad, and a piece of key lime pie, (why did I do that), I am back up. However, if the pattern follows, it will fall back off within a day or two and I will be very close to the next ten pounds. I pulled out my clothes to find something to wear to church and they all looked like gunny sacks - very baggy - which was good - but bad, in that I had some decent looking clothes that I can no longer wear without looking pretty silly. No sense getting more clothes than the bare minimum if I have more pounds to go, and I do. I found one black lightweight suit I could wear - and, for Easter, I looked rather goth against others in their bright spring clothing. I'm still waiting for that sewing machine - I think I can alter a few things....

Have had two and one half nearly pain free days with my back which I needed, because I was feeling sick all over from the pain. Yay!

I'm going to go now and try to get a couple of miles in on the elliptical, take a shower, and get myself presentable for the day before lining up early dinner for the boy so he can eat before baseball practice.

Time flies!