:Life Lessons from Painting

Still working on this darn thing, determined to make it work. I think because I am working with transparent colors, that when I get done they seem to disappear into the canvas. I'm not familiar with working with night scenes - and the light source is coming from the front....wrestled with the dang thing last night and parts of it got better, parts got worse.

Painting is a lot like life - you start something, excited about it, and all of a sudden realize its not working so well, and now its a big problem to solve. Now, I'm sure more experienced painters would know exactly what to do with this.....so really, I guess it comes down to education and problem solving skills. Then somewhat, finding what one is really good at and focusing energy into that area.

I paint from emotion - usually. I think what I need to do, since I relate to the flamingo and the flamingo's soul, is to just paint a flamingo, without landscape - a portrait of a flamingo - look in its eyes and let it speak to me, and paint. Sooo will that work -? I looked in the eyes of the parrot and all I have is a pretty picture. I want the magic!

Ok, getting ready to go to church - I am a bit huffy as "H" is getting all showered, perfumed and is running off to church without me. I have to go to second service, because that is the only time grandson's age group meets. I feel hurt - I tell him - he pays no attention - a source of contention from long ago - church as avoidance. Ha, ha, I tell myself, put that one in your hat, and paint it.

Never paint with negative feelings in your heart. I started an angel and got in a tiff with someone else who means a lot to me - it was a pencil drawing and I was touching it ever so lightly with washes, and my hand got heavier and heavier and I made it mediocre, the hotter I became in temper, the more I ruined it. Its ok, but its not "wow" so its going to garbage. I think that is another life lesson.

Will be glad when I have a more peaceful spirit and tolerance. Its Lent now. I miss the traditions that point to the importance of the coming of my Savior and the reasons, and the cost, and the emphasis on the whole importance of the Easter season. Mardi Gras and the partying are gone - I've never quite figured out how the craziness and extremities of Mardi Gras fit in with the concept of Christianity - not that I haven't gone to the tamer celebrations (I am not into having someone peeing on my shoes at the wild parades and parties!)

Ok, the old grouch is going in for her shower and perfume and the second church service. Perhaps God will meet me there and soothe the grouchiness, maybe even turn it to joy.

A Cat Named Psycho

Secrets, Herons in the Night, Tired too.

Eaaaghhhh. I have spent the last 3 weeks it seems running up and down the road in my car and buying gasoline. I am so tired I can't even sleep - I didn't get to the pharmacy today to pick up some Ambien - and here I am, bright eyed and bushy tailed at bedtime again. I haven't even watched TV for three weeks.

Today, I took a fancy. I never have secrets. But now I have a secret. A very big secret. So I went to Target and bought a big locket that I've been looking at, hoping, jus hoping I could find a secret to put in it. Now, I'm going to carry my secret next to my heart in the locket. And see what happens. It will work for me as I smile mysteriously at locket compliments, if I don't die prematurely.

Picked up my grandson - took him to Shrimp Basket where he ordered huge basket of friend er- yes I'm tired, I mean, fried crawfish. I ordered veggies and glad for it, because I feel nice and clean inside. Yeh, weird, huh? The older I get, the more I am enjoying the enjoyment of being free to be weird.

This beautiful stately bird was waiting on the entryway to the restaurant - a Blue Heron - it was like a moment of magic. After dinner we fed him/her french fries, left over crawfish and, weird person that I am, I told him how beautiful he was. Or she was. I wish it had not been so dark when grandson snapped his photo.

I am excited - the son of my best friend in the whole world back in Iowa contacted "H" today on Facebook - I hope I can find my long lost friend once again!

Finished.

I'm such a procrasinator - its always a triumph when I actually finish a piece of work!

This is oil on canvas.

The Casa Pantheressa

Just taking some pictures around the house. I finally cleaned it this month, haha.

Mojo Workin'

Where have I been? In a strange, but definitely not unpleasant place. In the last two weeks I have done two paintings - the guy in the hat needs a houndstooth pattern added which hope to finish tonight. And I think the flamingos need a second going over - we'll see. Just so pleased to have the urge to paint again.

Lots going on with family, and lots going on with me, none of which I can really talk about but I think the ends will all be positive.

Have been driving off the weight gain of the holidays - from henceforth I will remember how easy it is to put on and how hard it is to get off. Only five more pounds to go - but that can be a lot.

Cats have been chewed up and had to have vet treatment. Steering shaft out of car and had to have new tires - four car accidents in the family between my two daughters and grandkids. That's just a sampling.

Also I might have a web design job which would necessitate me spending a an expense paid week in the West Indies - now that makes me truly happy!!!! I hope it works out with another must do appointment in April.

Spending hours on computer with finding old files, preparing for CD's, offer, etc.

REcuperation

Cuperation - from the word chicken coop - I've been cooped up, haha! By choice! This is my coop. Where I hatch eggs of imagination, thoughts for art, food planning, reading, praying, napping, ideas for recipes, also a cat habitation - the warm little furry creatures curl close and we both fall asleep. I do these every so often - therefore - the RE before the coop.

If I sound slightly nuts I am. But its ok - just passed a birthday that would make a thirty year old tremble - if a thirty year old even thinks about this decade at all. I didn't, except in terms of my grandma.

Here ah am. A Southerner. Not famous. Not with a good retirement. Yeh, should be counting all the things I am. But I'm tired, going to take another nap - right after this movie -

Snake Tails

Found a little - well, skinny but very long, snake our cat bit through. I picked him up to dump in garbage, but he was very alive, so I put him in a tupper ware and took him to the park. Once there and exposed to his habitat, he was so quick to move out I couldn't get his picture.

So, here are some pictures of the swamp in the winter time! The snake is somewhere in there!

Weezy

Perhaps I'm prejudiced but I think this is the cutest dog in the whole world. He's tiny -
I love him - his personality is HUGE and I would steal him if I didn't have a conscience - he's my granddaughter's dog, but all of our darling! Even "H" who does not really care for animals adores him. You should see him in his padded green winter coat. She almost bought him a cowboy hat - but he was too indignant about that, but has agreed to the sweater and the coat because its so cold down here.

I just saw on the news the sea turtles off the Carolina coast were being fished out of the water and thawed out - poor things are freezing! Our temperatures this time of year are usually in the 60's - this is just too weird - of course we are in the conservative Christian demographic and this is absolute proof they think that Global Warming is a farce. I keep stubbornly pointing out that it doesn't hurt to do as God says in the first part of the Bible to be good stewards of the earth at any rate - but the whole concept is political and very polarizing. Oh well - the sun shines, and its pretty - as I drove grandson to school the shore was breathtakingly beautiful! Still as a mirror, and the sun was shining on it.

They say the citrus industry is done for - but "H" found many more oranges on the tree that I missed - we probably have forty - sweet juicy beautiful unfrozen oranges for the winter. At least I grew SOMETHING!

Hope to visit everyone soon - my time is being eaten by an invisible dragon.

One eyed, one horned flying Purple People Eaters....

We had more oranges than I thought - we were out picking after dark - not smart - resulting in blooding hands, that is sort of somewhere between bleeding and bloody - but lots of delicious sweet oranges. They are amazing this year!!!

The purples fuzzies? Cold feet this year. I wanted the ridculously expensive Ugg boots - but someone said they were very remniscent of Pamela Anderson, which totally frightened me away from Uggs. However, while touring Sears today and returning some Land's End shoes, the cashier offered me free Dearfoam slippers if I applied for a Sears credit card.

Ok, I applied. I got these insane purple people eater feet warmer slippers - sooo yummy comfortable but so completely silly looking! I was approved for credit, but the annual fee was $76 - silly people, I said "No thanks." But still got the free feet slippers/warmers!

There once was a song while I was growing up - "The Flying Purple People Eater" song - by Sheb Wooley. Lord, does that date me! My slippers remind me of that song.

The downtown lights for Christmas are still up - but that's ok, they are beautiful.

Saw the movie BLIND SIDED - was really good but then I love soppy sentimental movies. I do. For a feel good movie, GO!

Enough! :)

January 3, 2010

Still playing with my new camera. I love pine trees. One of these days I will paint them in a dark night sky from a view of looking up into the sky. These fellows are BIG - when we bought the house - "H" told me to pick out a lot without pine trees. Well, the pine trees looked to not be in the lot - but somehow ended up with three of these big boys. One of which broke during a hurricane and landed on the front part of the house.

Grandson went home from a 4 day visit during which we devoured lots of rice krispy treats - now, I wouldn't think they would be fattening - but those dudes are high in calories, plus grandson likes to put candy sprinkles in them, and then decorate them with canned frosting.

Tomorrow I have to go to the dealership and see if I can get them to fix the lousy steering that my model of car is known for. It started out with a recall not taken care of by dealer before I even bought it, and I wasn't told about it.

I have had two or three "fixes" since then that don't really fix it. I am hoping for the best- like, "sure we'll replace your steering column and assembly and there will be no charge since the car came with that problem." I NEED to hear those words and see that action! They need to quit tightening a screw and sending me home and FIX it! And I've been pricing out tires - they are shot, AND it needs its 50,000 mile transmission servicing. After Christmas wake up call!

Then I'll go visit my friends from Wyoming who are cozy-ing into their own winter place down here.

If you are a Face Booker and find I'm not posting much, I have an odd situation there. Not quite stalking but maybe over interest - or, not sure, but someone may be getting a bit controlling. Or even more than someones. Staying anonymous has its perks, haha.

Still have massive pain problems (especially after trimming bushes in the yard) when I don't take NSAIDS but I'm not supposed to take them.

I looked for jobs for about 2-3 months before Christmas. I've quit looking again. I dunno. Once in a while it hits me - I want to be working. I feel like working. Feel good enough to work. Then sometimes I just physically crash - need a job that wouldn't mind me bringing the work home during the crash times. I can get on a program to re-enter the work force with assistance - but - but - I can't even get into my doctor for a discussion of how I am doing now. Doc Lovely doesn't treat anymore except for his Pygmalion endeavors and I couldn't now afford the treatments even if he was practicing in that area. Now, if I could get 120 pounds overweight and develop diabetes complications, I could probably see a doctor - but not now. Our health care bill as it was last approved does not seem to offer much, but details are very nebulous. I need to find a new primary care doctor, I know. But its a needle in a haystack search. I do know one thing, I need to start getting up in the morning and taking care of business - setting a regular time to paint, and quit drifting, which I've been doing since that flu bug hit. Even if I'm drifting along, at least keep a journal about the drifting!

Gad. G'night everyone. New Year's Resolution - to find things I've lost - like the silver ring I made oldest grandson - the pages for my son's book - and lots of other things! Small house, big black hole somewhere.

The New Year 2010

Well, its New Year's Day! We are still in the monsoon season! Last night we (grandson & I watched Alien Vs. Predator - well, actually I fell asleep about 10 minutes after it started). Then today we went to AVATAR. What a beautiful movie - absolutely beautiful. I wish I could fall asleep and dream I was in that forest. And, of course, extremely tall blue people, long, graceful and cat like including a fierce ability to hiss - I LOVE it! It was lush and beautiful. A little bit of everything for everyone - a love story, a science fiction, a statement for protection of earth and a way of life, redemption -

Took oldest grandson for his 19th birthday to Olive Garden - it was also a nice family time.

Continue to learn new cameras features. Addicted to Farm Town. Being much more restrained with Face Book as some people are becoming far too concerned with what I'm doing.

Looking forward to the year. (I think!)

I had a sad moment today - realized my beautiful 2,500 foot home in Wyoming would be paid off this year! :( That would have been a wonderful thing! But the past is gone - we have today - and the future is open to us.

Christmas Review

To daughter's house for Christmas
Presents in the Elvis Room

Movies for later

THE CHAIR! Christmas present to make gaming even more awesome!

My youngest daughter's house

This a man dog?

Oldest Grandson with lst born daughter

Leopard Skin Shoes done and ready to hang

Youngest grandson - can't stay off the computer

Nana & Christian

Shop stop for some seafood



We had a great Christmas. Good snacks, fun together, a new puppy, Weezie (which I really wish they could clone me one - he's adorable and soooo good. The weather a bit drizzly with rain, today sunshine. Too many lemon drop martinis - whoooooo - too many calories - but good times - even remembered how to jitterbug much to the grandkids, or at least the one who was "jitterbugging" with, delight.

"H" is out shopping day after sales, I'm too broke for that, so youngest grandson and I are watching movies -

My granddaughter would not permit any pictures on Christmas day - :(

"H" and I went to NINE and IT'S COMPLICATED yesterday, both about men who were egotistical womanizing butts - but the casting, costumes, unique presentation and plot behind NINE made up for that many many times over - and Penelope Cruz who never seemed more than a shadow did a number that was really powerful - she won't be forgotten. And even a few moments of Sophia Loren were worth the whole movie as well. I would give it a "9!"

We laughed so hard through "IT'S COMPLICATED" and cheered at the ending, she made the right choice.

That sums it up - now on to New Year's then Mardi Gras......

Happy Holidays

Hope everyone enjoys the slowdown and holiday(s), whichever, or however you choose to celebrate!

We're having a hodge-podge - Christmas eve with youngest daughter and grandson, and older daughter and grandkids coming from Mobile - then not sure when we'll put in a small turkey over here - need to accommodate those coming and going - "H" and I can always plan snacks around them.

Then celebration with friends on the weekend - but right now feel too tired to do one more thing tonight/p!

Snowbird friends will arrive to their place over the bridge after Christmas.

And I still don't have my fall yardwork done.

The pantry, however, and the laundry room have been painted and are fresh!

The poor potted plant's bows are beginning to droop - my visitors today made fun of our tree - well, they should come and put us up a proper one!

The Nutcracker Ballet was a good show, a bit non-traditional, but delightful as always. Grandson has gathered two additional new nutcrackers for his collection, one picked up from the ballet. We went to eat at Red Lobster and he had a proper Christmas with Grandma. Hope for some special time with each older one when they are here!

Time to find a snack! Happy Holidays!

Testing 1, 2, 3

"H" bought me a new camera for Christmas. So far it looks really super - I wanted one with a less limiting focal length than I now have, where I could print large format should the whim hit me, one that had good macro and the possibility to change lenses for wide angle, yet digital, rechargeable batteries, small - she's all that, plus does HD video! Now I wish he had saved this money before buying me the Flip video camera. Well, they won't go to waste! The only limitation I found is that the SD cards, I think are expensive but they can load - $19.95 for 490 photos not bad, the internal memory is really limited! Only two pics. I have the option of setting the camera for the large format size down to the size for emails and posting on web. Oh yeah, do I feel spoiled! I can't wait to hit the great outdoors!

An SD card that will hold the info for over two hours of HD is really espensive though.

The top photo was a night shot - the only illumination was the flash. Powerful for a little digital.

The berries - well, I know the macro works fine! The "natural" folage in our yard - from the swamp it was before homes - is not lacking in detail. I happy.

Christmas prep charges on - have to take a break and take grandson to doctor - he has an infected foot! His mom is sick. Stepdad on way to pick up his cousin for Christmas visit!

I'm not cooking much for Christmas - not like I did Thanksgiving - that cost me ten pounds (not pounds, but too much weight.)

Ok, someone sitting in the chair I need to get rid of so I can work or whatever in peace.....

Better call that doctor!

The 60's - 70's and Men

Shouldn't do this - but as Manic Street Preacher says - tonight I am knackered. And I'm walking down memory lane to the tune of music from the Pandora on line radio station.

Willie Nelson wrote a song to to all the women I've ever loved - - - here's to the men....some of them....whom I've thought I loved.

Sarge McClintock - I found him on Facebook tonight. I thought I loved him. A disc jockey extraordinaire of the 60's - wondered what ever happened to Sarge - we were all into protest back then - he drank so much and look at him in the photo - must have been taken a few years ago.

He worked for the radio station where I was Miss KATI Icecycle. Which meant I had to walk around the mall in the winter in a bikini and five inch heals.....and a banner on the front of my bikini and have my picture taken - KATI!

Then, oh my gosh, Steve, a real screwball who asked me out and wanted me to become a stripper in Denver! I dumped him. Fine aspiration. Needless to say sometimes I wasn't too picky about my dating - but then I was rather naive as well.

The soldier from Mississippi I met in a Las Vegas night club that wanted to marry me - he lost his leg in the service . . . our worlds were too far apart - I really didn't mind he was handicapped, but so far apart....

Then, the music teacher in high school that had contacts in New York and called my parents in to talk about a career for me in the Rockettes - well, I sure was excited, a hidden dream of mine was to become a dancer. I don't know what happened - I never heard anymore about it. Why did he do that?

The night club outside of town - with steaks and dancing and lots of drinks - such a small dance floor - but in an isolated place, surrounded by pine trees and regulars...the Goose Egg Inn. What men were there - ah, Terry, Bill - and Bill's brother from Memphis (tall men who danced like a dreaming). I was married to Terry for two years and he fathered my son. He is an artist - I think still alive. I don't know. I'm angry at him, my son needed a father, and he ran.

The 60's dragged on into Iowa - and Faber - the crazy Irishman who carried me on his back from bar to bar - man, that guy was fun crazy. Asked me to marry him, but then I decided he was too fun crazy for marriage material. Faber is dead. I didn't cry. Then Mike, the guy I did marry who drove his truck down the road and I barely saw him - and I finally packed my little kids up and left him.

Before that, there were the boys, no, men, all supposedly "family" men at the insurance company in Baltimore - all but one were hustling me in some way - or maybe wistfully wishing, who knows, I was always so tall - they didn't make panty hose back then, so my garter and nylons peeking out from under my pencil skirts - - one took me for martinis on Wednesdays after work, but was very proper. What did a 40 year old man have in common with a 20 year old? I don't know. And then the other guy who gave me rides to work and slept with me once - Milt. Another, a crazy chiropractor who dated a stipper - where was I in the lineup? The middle eastern men who stalked me in Baltimore......the Pakistani I married before going to Baltimore who left for his home country three days after the marriage....and I later found out he had a wife and eight children in Pakistan.......An Iranian student who wanted to marry me in Baltimore, but didn't know how to break it to his father back in Iran....told ya'll I was a middle eastern man magnet....

Then - Alvin - the Indian who brought me into his world where I almost became lost - I will never forget the smell of woodsmoke, the taste of pork and corn over an open fire, and Indian bread . . . his skin smelled of smoke.....

Mike in Baltimore - the artist who broke my heart - and whose sculptured pieces of jewelry I still wear....

Jim in the 70's in Rawlins, who was my protector - who loved me from afar - got me a good job -and with whom I worked hand in hand for many years......

Mike, my soul friend for so many years in the 70's, I loved him, but nothing improper there . . . except perhaps he depended on me too much.......

Lonnie, who called me, stricken with cancer - a youthful sweet friend and sweetheart who apologized for taking advantage - we were Jr. High sweethearts - all I could do in the future time was to love him because he needed peace for the end - - - I have my suspicions that he killed himself rather than face the debilitation of cancer.....

Then men who were stuck in my skin like porky pine quills = = - that i have a long time since shedded.

I met God somewhere along the line - He reigned me in, he made me HIS lover - and men have dropped by the wayside - still some times I remember - maybe I shouldn't.

I have always been a wanderer - I will never know what or who tomorrow will bring to me.

Shocked - well, yes! I am a bit myself. Perhaps tomorrow, sober, I will delete this! I don't know.

Getting Ready for Christmas

Wrap me please - don't forget to stick some sardines in my box, maybe tuna too....

Not a Good Day

It started out good enough today - got my first mile in on elliptical, drank all my green stuff, vitamins down - yes - shower, good hair day - grandson spending two days here - fun!

Well, grandson was dropped off with a present for the birthday party he was to attend. I was invited to a Christmas party. We left the house in the rain for the Christmas party and had a nice enough time, then left there for the birthday party.

Now, I really like kids, all ages, I really do. I adore them. Individually. In a group they scare me. The little varmits are like dogs - they are pack animals and they all want to be alpha. Nothing cat about a little kid. Thankfully grandson is 12 and super well behaved, didn't worry about him, and just tried to stay out of the others way and read until the ordeal was over.

This "birthday party" business - dozens of kids running around, screaming, screeching, dim light, about 8 things, 15 feet high, with slides, filled with air which hissed every few seconds, another sound that closely mimicked a car horn honking every 60 seconds, and Alvin and the Chipmunks singing something about "Christmas time...." and a dog barking to the tune of "Jingle Bells."

Two hours..........two looooooooooooooong hours. I wanted to put my head in my arms and cry.

I have decided that, despite the fact a 50 year plus person has much more experience and wisdom (theoretically) under their belt, their nerves are worn out, and that is exactly why God saw fit to give children to younger people.

Then, bright idea to take the recycling bags (three large ones that wouldn't fit in the pick-up bin) to the drop off point at the fire station. It was dark by then. I stepped in a deep puddle, slipped and my cell phone fell from my pocket into the puddle. I threw the recyclables into the air, retreived the cell phone and laid it on a paper towel where I thought it might drain the best, disposed of the recyclables and came home to dry the phone out with the hair dryer.

Blackberry acting like a crazed robot from the worst of Sci Fi movies. Sob. I am incognito - stranded - no phone!!!! It still beeps, I know people are trying to reach me, but no can see them or who is calling! Panic!

That led to another cookie binge - oh heavens, I feel like a complete failure today!!!!