Saturday, November 13, 2010

Getting Ready for Christmas or Nevermore's Night Before Christmas

Too much action here. Had to stop and draw for a bit to get my head back - he wasn't done in this photo - the ornament is now redder with a more realistic light on it.

One of my friends, said "How do you be so prolific writing when you have all that stuff you are doing?" Well, writing brings me back from scattered-ness often.

My dog is mad because I am gone so much now and he is pooping in my studio. Cute, eh? Sooo poor baby is going to have to go to a cage when I'm absent. He thinks he needs to go with me each trip. That is not always practical - for him. The Mama Cat has been put on a diet by the vet. She tore her Cruciate Ligament in her cat knee and we thought she would have surgery, but he wants her in a more safe weight zone first - which is something we needed to do, just didn't know how. Well, both cats are very ticked now about being rationed and are beating up on Guido. Maybe the deposits were in retaliation to that, or maybe they just scared the poop out of him. Who knows what animals think.

This week is the last week to the Event - I'm nervous but excited. A few more tweaks and the gallery setting will be looking great - and then Gallery Night, and I hope I sell all of that, although the charcoals will be kind of like selling off my children.

So, enough for now!

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Blogging

This is a drawing I did about a man who lost four of his dogs in a house fire. This was the only dog he could save. I call it "Housefire." Well, I'm thankful that a couple of blogging friends have much happier looks on their faces and lost no lives to their house fire (apartment) - the incident set me to thinking............

I don't blog nearly as intense as I used to - I think that might be a winter project, to get back in touch, be more faithful with the blogging and checking in. After Candy and Stagg's close call I realized how dear my blogging pals are to me and I never want to lose touch! You all have seen me through a desolate time in Wyoming away from family, marriage problems, sickness, injuries, moving, erratic sometimes behavior and accepted me anyway. That means a lot, a whole lot in this life. Thank you.

Oh, fall hit suddenly here - it is cold, seems a bit nicer today. The Greater Gulf Coast Arts Festival is underway, and humbling as every booth we visited yesterday during our quick walk through had stunning art. Grandson helped me hang mine in the gallery and I signed up for gallery night duties, but it will be fun. Does this mean I do not get to isolate a lot now? Maybe.

Much to do this week - the plumbing flood seems to not want to go away - the insurance company sent us an inventory, less than the damages and replacements, so I have work to do there. The Event is not coming along - totally amazing how its NOT coming along. I will be so embarrassed to go ask the art bar if they have a problem with me keeping to a tiny event, which means tiny money for them for the day!

Daylight savings time change today - aaackkkk - love having some more light in the morning, but its downright depression to have to take my walks in the evening in the dark, and i worry about the school kids getting home ok.

My Wyoming friends ought to be arriving at their place for wintering - we call them "snow birds" down here.

Time to fix grandson some breakfast.....

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Getting There

The painting is called "Getting There." This photo was taken when it wasn't completely finished. Today it resides in Blue Morning Galley.

It is official! I am now in - Blue Morning Gallery.

The gallery is chock-full of some really great artists. I think this is going to really be fun. It is a coop, involved in the community, and everyone I've met seems really, really nice. I put the charcoals in to begin with. In fact, I'm sort of taken with the charcoals right now, so probably will do a few more pieces before moving back to paints.

Today grandson and I attended the Greater Gulf Coast Arts Festival - a November event that gets better year by year. I always feel humbled when I see all the fabulous art there.

Well, my huge jobs are getting done - I have 10 more pillows to make for grandson's school and the "Paint the World with Hope and Healing" workshops and I will be able to just relax, keep a clean house (I hope) and do art.

Still have myriads of paperwork to fill out from plumbing flood - at the rate they are moving it will take many more months to finish it up. Have to go back to hardware stores for more estimates.

Our cat has a torn ligament in her cat knee - so she has to have surgery to stablize her tibia. Its been one of those months! Can't wait for turkey for Thanksgiving. Don't know why, but I'm craving turkey! Yum. The animals said that sounded good to them too.

So sleepy - have to take a short nap to keep moving later on today.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Mollybon - she's up!!!!!

It's official, folks! Now all we have to do is get a proper domain name, but she's done - The Mollybon Website. What fun, I will miss working on it. Perhaps a site will come along this year now and then! And the cool thing was working with someone in another country, the owner of the property - the internet is a marvel sometimes.

Next good news is that I have been accepted into the Blue Morning Gallery on Pensacola's main street, downtown! Only the charcoals so far, but its an open door now. So now I have to get busy and produce - I have been at a standstill since the plumbing flood, grandson's volunteering me for a pillow project for a class, planning the "Paint the World with Hope and Healing event," the website, and getting out there and marketing everything. It's been a challenge for a basically shy person.

And I have conquered the naysayer prediction that after 60, you can't break into the art market - yahoooooo, yes, yes, you can do what you want after sixty!!!!! Hear that, all my young friends, you can do it! Whatever your heart's dream is, keep dreaming and doing.

The weather is cold here in the morning now - by that I mean mid sixties (F.) - for Florida its cold. Much social activity has been going on as well. My personality would much rather hunker down at home to putter and paint. Tonight some close friends have a Halloween party, I'll go for a while, but probably not in costume. The passing away of our Tim has put a damper on our festivities. The Blue Angels will fly this coming week in a show, and his family is gathering up here to watch - I may go, though I've been able to pretty much see the show as they practice over my roof!

The kids will "trick or treat" tomorrow night. Grandson and I have gone to the store for candy. I usually try to give out something else and don't know what got into me - instead of pencils, little booklets, etc., I bought sacks of candy - it will be hard to stay out of and not eat!

So have a wonderful, save, and joyful Halloween - be careful out there - I have a wild story about being out with my daughters and having had something put in my drink. But another time!


Sunday, October 24, 2010

Lately Happinens

I won our LBL painting - one from our every 3 -4 mo slumber party paintathons - painting contains a piece of each woman, er, from each woman, er created by each woman. There, got it.

Luck to get this collection of bird houses. i need to find Nevermore and get busy with some sketches - charcoal!

My daughter has been visiting almost every weekend - cool! Love it.

Other daughter displays her new harido!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

This is Keeping me Busy - - - - -

November 20, 2010

Paint the World with Hope and Healing – Sketching and Painting Workshop

November 20, 2010
Paint the World with Hope and Healing
Dolce Vita – 309 S. Reus, Pensacola, Florida 32502. Join us for an amazing day of insight and inspiration, sketching and painting. Plus an elegant evening of artistry. It's an event you won't want to miss!
Join us for a unique day long workshop with a guest author as speaker. A local artist will facilitate art sessions. No experience needed! Stay for participants and invitational evening art show with silent auction, portion of proceeds to go to benefit ongoing Gulf Coast healing, monitoring, and cleanup.
For more information and to register go to events page on dianakayeart or
More information about art show and call to artists at Paint Hope.
Or contact Diana Obe at 850-380-5083

I am determined to make a difference in the world. A little bit anyway. :)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

So Into Myself


Yep, I admit it. For a while I took so many pictures of myself that I appeared obssessed. I was, losing weight and all and feeling like a new person. That has worn off, a little of the weight has come back and of course that has me freaking, but it offsets because I'm working out at Curves - and its worked (doctor suggested) - my heart is at regular rhythm most of time, am stronger, so assuming the heart muscle as well is stronger. No longer take many pictures. Won't be long and I'll hit the big 66. I look in the mirror - I look more like an ol' Indian lady everyday. Still have the vanity of having my hair striped - and my daughters dress me, so sometimes look like an aged 30 year old, some weird combination.

Life - gets better and better in my head. Yah. It does. There is hope - wooo hoooooo! I probably live a far more exciting life than ever - and fulfilling, art is blooming, I am more able to be who I am without fear of what people will think of me. Way less perfectionistic, though sometimes anxiety haunts me some.

Winter is comin' on - and I think back on last winter, my routines, my long nights on Farmtown, my dear friend that I email with everyday - other friends - family - getting dark too early, still battle with weight, learning to love better - hopefully. What will this winter bring? I don't know. It's been a weird year, a tough year. Friends losing family members. My own mother just had an episode of 3 blood clots in her lungs - good thing she had a reaction to a flu shot, though it tore her up, at least they found the clots before they killed her. Whew. My girls struggling, grandkids struggling. But then that's life. It's harder though to "make it" when an acorn squash costs $4.00 - and radishes almost a couple of bucks - etc. etc. And I'm not even in Europe where prices are worse than they are here.

Anyway, we live - we live a day at a time. And hopefully our plans don't fall apart - too often that is. I remember back, one job I hoped to retire from - wall street went - my retirement totally disappeared. I tried again. Boom - at least I got out with my contribution. "H" is not a planner - I've made my own way, and never enough left over to stash. Or maybe I've been too generous - no, that's not it, there is a principle, you reap and you sow. No seeds, no reaping.

So - as we slide toward November, I'm thinking - what will happen next year? We don't know. I hope it brings more strength because I don't think it will bring more peace.

Well, moving on - I have to have about 15 pictures to enter jurying for acceptance into a really cool gallery on the best street in town! I'm so excited. Have moved mostly to charcoals lately...
need to paint, if I could get everything done, I would, start. Time counts down.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Whirlwind





Guido and I went walking the other day - I had to take some time for solitude and getting to nature before losing it. There has been much going on - and I've been all over the map, literally and figuratively!

First a report, as it comes to my ears and eyes through various sources: The oil lies deep under the water, the dispersants keep it pushed down - and the story is that BP thinks out of sight, out of mind, and that might be partially true. However, a lot of us fear swimming in the Gulf now, not sure of what the effects might be on our bodies now and years down the road. The gulls still hold their vigils of looking out to sea even though they are back from where ever they went before the disaster.

"H" is getting news of some of the employees getting their checks for the loss of wages they've experienced, so he has decided he is going to file his - I pray we get reimbursed - we need it!

Right before I was to go to Landmark Forum in Orlando, we had a plumbing problem and since it was on the other side of the house, I didn't find it until two and one half rooms plus a hallway were flooded. I worked 24/7 trying to clean it up with a borrowed "wet vac", and couldn't so had to call a recovery company and our insurance company. Furniture is ruined - sheetrock - vinyl, baseboards - so I left for Orlando while the drying machines were on, and then when I came back, started in on the paperwork, and putting things back where they were. We will replace damaged furniture when the insurance check comes minus a huge deductible.

The Forum was fabulous, far more than its website indicates. A friend who went through it insisted I go, and I finally did. It is truly life changing and I hope I can complete all the series (3). Anyone experience a dozen train tracks of thoughts running through their heads? Can you imagine being free of them? Yep. It works. The forum facilitates in three long (13 hour) days and one evening, a freedom and improvement in relationship that one can't imagine unless experiencing it. And that's just the first in the series.

But anyway, back home, and planning an event - Paint the World with Hope and Healing, which I need 30 participants. I have five - and I'm shaking in my boots, I admit. Also found a gallery I want my art in and it will take a miracle to get in, I'm pretty much accepted, but the space comes at a small price, but with my current income a small price is a big one. Right on main street - and window exposure, shows - I want in before the Christmas season.

In the meantime, my mother in Wyoming goes into the hospital with several pulmonary emobli, and suspected pneumonia. We believe she had a reaction from a flu shot which may have saved her life as they found the clots. But she seems to be doing well and I don't have to run out there.

Then a dear friend, Hattigrace's husband passed away - you can find her on Facebook - she has posted her journey of grief. We were all shocked, even though Tim had experienced a stroke we had no idea he was fading as he was. He was just over here at noon time the day he passed away. He went home after running errands and went to bed and when Hattigrace got home from work she found him.

In fact, I stayed with Tim's daughter in Orlando. She's a beautiful strong amazing generous woman.

So many people have lost loved ones recently - its just been a very strange time.

That sort of catches me up - I need to visit you all - and need to start painting again, and to make the Event work - I have a speaker coming from Wyoming - it will be so much fun - will be a morning where she talks on "The Artistry of God"(an environmental theme - she is author of "Green your Church") - and we do sketches while she speaks and then in the afternoon the participants will create a painting, with assistance if needed, and in the evening their will be an art show for the participants and also guest artists. Again, I'm excited, but scared. Having fun networking out in the community and found the fabulous gallery in which I would love to share my own work continually.

But....more later. I want to visit ya'll before I let the cats in and have to do animal duty and before "H" gets up.




Friday, September 24, 2010

Soooo Busy or Not

Yep, that's how I feel. An old self portrait, but lying on the floor - that's me. Fighting a flu bug. Half in and half out of the art mode.

Used to disdain Facebook as a frou frou program, and truly I miss the richness, the more personable, more arty, more - - - blogspot! Blogspot is just deeper and you don't have to worry about Uncle Judge Your Stuff giving you a hard time. Most of the time anyway, a few have leaked through though, right?

I don't where my time has gone - I have practically quit farming (Farmtown) - and have been on a short painting hiatus (darn!) - my house is dirty, still cluttered -

Going to Orlando week after next to a week long seminar - which I hope will break me through to being able to bring in a fairly steady income from art - I have ideas - but fear often finds me not working them....the ideas, that is.........my water/health product business leaves much to be desired, haha, like sales! The products fabulous, the getting them out there makes me cringe - why have to push something that is marvelous, is good for health and in the case of water, saves the environment? Besides, now they are finding that some of the bottled waters are even worse than the tap water! Most of the stuff we buy is heralded by a bunch of bunk, and I have something tried and true and the money part isn't working, so my thoughts are, don't keep working on something that isn't working, right? My heart is to paint! I will keep the water and health business, but only as a side for our use, and if someone needs help along the way, then we can share. So a time of new discovery is underway.

On a sad note - my blog pal, Hattigrace, in fact she got me started on blogspot, lost her husband last Wednesday - it seems like weeks ago, yet not - he was over at noon getting water and ran some errands, went home and went to bed and she found him when she got home from work. A huge shock and he will be terribly missed. He was a kind, supportive kind of person. He had suffered poor health for 15 years since he had a stroke, but he was always "there" ya know? He'll be missed. Funeral is tomorrow - I am hoping I feel better, don't want to carry any germs!

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

My Zoo


Never thought I would see them watch a dog eat THEIR food, though they surely feel that they are entitled to his food- they are alpha cats.

This is Manuel Guardo Montoya. He sings to you from his throat. Totally different than a growl, he does that too! He is too sweet.


Guido Romeo Basseto and Big Mama aka Big Meowie. Now, if Psycho darling will accept Guido we're in!

Sometimes we add my granddaughter's Weezy, a chihuahua and yorkie mix to our zoo mix.

Had a great Labor Day - oldest daughter came over (youngest just got off of night shift) and we went to a Tiki Bar and beautiful pool to hang out and renew our tans. Youngest grandson went with us, found people to play ball with and he had a ball - we people watched, the band came on motorcycles with their instruments - if he hadn't had to go home, we would have stayed till the sun went down.

Does Canada celebrate Labor Day?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Tetons

The indoor mountain restaurant and the outdoor mountain restaurant!

Grandson's first Chuckwagon lunch!

Hmmm - how much is the rent? I want to stay. In the summer, that is!

Finally - our cabin room!


Quaking Aspen - - beautiful white barked trees with tiny green leaves that turn brilliant yellow in the fall, and when the breezes blow they shimmer like a thousand sequins....

The sky in Wyoming is deep, so deep and so blue and so clear (usually).

"For purple mountain majesty............"

"Above the fruited plains............"


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

August 25, 2010 Sunset - on the Water in Florida

My daughter called tonight and said she had some of Rod's things she thought I would want. On my way over, I passed this point where I stopped for a picture. It was poignant, as the first time Rod saw this body of water, he was awestruck. And, I'm thinking - oh no, I thought I was over it after 21 years and here comes fall again. Then when I stopped at her house, my youngest grandson was acting much like Rod when he was upset and my heart and mind, for a moment, broke.

No, one can't run away from life, nor can one avoid the pain. The only way for both is to go through it. And keep going through it until one comes out on the other side. I am trying hard tonight to be in a vibrant and passionate state of being, but it is muted for another day's try.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Yellowstone







Finally back, a few days to re-enter, nap, be patient while waiting for energy refuel. Flying 4,000 miles and driving a total of 2,500 miles. It was a blast. Youngest grandson a completely wonderful travel companion. My energy was good, though my back was giving me fits.

Decided this was going to be a "Heritage Trip" - my grandmother left Missouri at age 5 in a covered wagon and they ended up settling in Snake River, Wyoming, eventually landing in Rawlins for the remainder of her life. We all went in and out of Rawlins - and also lived in Casper. High Country, even the dessert - thin air, and before this last boom, the sound of silence reigned along with hawks, eagles, herds of antelope and deer, and in the north, elk, bear, and bison. The horizon lasts forever, the sky is a deep shade of blue with huge clouds and the depth looks like you can get lost in it as you gaze up with feet planted firmly on earth.

All the grandkids need to see the land and remember before the pine beetles (allowed to eat on the pines all winter as well as summer because global warming does not allow a long enough cold season to kill) take all the forests. Before man encroaches so far, the wildlife fades away forever. This trip back, I noticed the herds of antelope and deer were nowhere to be seen - a few strays here and there - not many. One lone, tired looking bison (buffalo) wandered across the ground by Old Faithful as if to herald the triumph that the geyser would indeed blow, even if he (the buffalo) never made another season.

Yet, there was a bittersweet pride - this land is my land!

We ran into a rainstorm heading into the Tetons - jawbreaker sized hail pounded the car and the biggest raindrops we'd ever seen. The Tetons loomed in the back of us with their majesty and snow covered peaks - a song burst out on the radio making me cry, "I see my reflection in the snow covered mountains......" The pounding of rain and hail on the sagebrush acted as a pestle against a mortar to make the most exquisite of perfumes!

So next post - perhaps the Tetons - or the Hot Springs in Thermopolis - or the Wind River Canyon where one can see the Cambrian and Pre-cambrian era rock, across the Wind River Indian Reservation - the Buttes -

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Three Weeks - Yellowstone, and Etc.


These are latest works - I still have some corrections to make on both - but they will have to wait two or three weeks.

Road trip is on - flying and driving. Reservations made, packing in progress. Some worry over funds, but believing that memories that Grandson will have for life will be more important than things I probably won't remember, like cash in my pocket from time to time. We will be covering lots of miles, Wyoming, Colorado, and Idaho.

Will take lots of pictures - it will be nice to return to the mountains - Milla's blog keeps me alive with her mountain pictures, when my heart longs for mountains and meadows!

We will stay in a Lodge right next to Old Faithful! Much of my life I lived in Wyoming but never saw Old Faithful! I got such a good price on the Lodge, I am wondering if they are putting us in a small attic room somewhere in the recesses of the Lodge, however it has a long history and will be fun, even if we have a stall in the stable!

I wish I could pile my whole family in a bus and take off for this adventure - but I believe God knows who should go when, so it will all work out.

Hopefully I will be in good enough physical condition to get some stuff done for my mother while while at her place, perhaps my company will be enough. Yesterday I was in crazy pain throughout my body, today its confined to my right foot and ankle - I think I may have fibromyalgia - would explain acute episodes and recoveries.

Grandson wants to hike. And perhaps will have his first horse ride. Next on his list is the purchase of some giant gum balls, the candy store is in Fort Collins, Colorado and right close to a huge wholesale art supply house - Jerry's Artarama!

They tell us the Deepwater well is plugged, though they have to make it more permanent, however news comes out about seepage from the sea floor around the well. They are also telling us the oil in the water is "breaking up" - I don't know what that means because it doesn't evaporate. They haven't told us about the effects of the untested chemicals they have put in the water, so much yet remains to be seen.

This will probably be my last post for about three weeks - wishing everyone a wonderful rest of the summer! It seemed like it would never get here - now its almost gone! Grandson starts school a week after we return!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Road Trip

What a weird convoluted situation I find myself in. I had not planned to go to Wyoming this year. However, my mother suggested I come and she would help youngest grandson and I with a trip to Yellowstone and also get us all tickets for the Bob Dylan concert.

Well, to make a long story short, she decided that concert tickets were too expensive when the town was so full of poor people, and that instead of Yellowstone, the Municipal Swimming Pool would be fine for grandson. (She must have forgotten that we live in the land of water, albiet polluted water.) I've decided the whole disappointing fiasco shakes out to she had broken up with her boyfriend and was lonesome, but now that boyfriend is back, she is not going to loan her pickup to anyone as she chaeuffers him everywhere, and everything is off but poisoning her weeds and transplanting some flowers and walking to the municpal pool so grandson can swim.

I should have known. But, determined to make the best of a situation where tickets were already purchased for the plane, I've thought about driving the 4,000 miles round trip. BUT, at last found an affordable rent-a-car for the last week of the trip. So I can take him to Yellowstone! We may have to sleep in the car, and wash up in restrooms and eat bologna sandwiches but that would be the fun telling in the trip. So, Old Faithful, here we come.

At the same time at the end of the trip, I am supposed to be in Denver for an intensive seminar to make a years' old dream come true, of which I will write later, and no one to watch Sage and no money for seminar and no transportation - and airline tickets would have to be moved! However I have free lodging in Denver, so miracles might yet happen!

My oldest daughter will babysit the dog....and "H" will be here for the cats, the boy across the street will water the flowers some of which are rotting - the hazards of growing in 90% humidity conditions.

The next installment will probably come about after August 13th! Unless I can find WiFi connections in the wilderness!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Fun Day - Visit from a Handsome Man!


Painting again! Always seems to relieve the blues. At least some! My handsome (and sweet) grandson came to visit today and take us to lunch. I loved it. All grown up - gives me a tear or two, and then great pleasure to see what a wonderful person he has become - his life ahead of him. It's been good - my grandkids, my daughter from Mobile visiting often lately, and their ADHD dog, Weezy. But I even love the Weezy. Guido continues to "grow" on me - as dogs do, wanting usually always to be at the owner's heels, bed, etc. Will go to Mobile this week sometime to drop off Guido with daughter, and to visit with my granddaughter, and lunch if she desires.

Tickets purchased for Wyoming trip with younger grandson. Plans being made, although the plans I WANT to make involve a rental car, and the cost is insane! Buses are an option, however much walking in the heat and I am out for the count lately, don't know what that is all about.

Reading my book recommended by Wandering Coyote and I love it so much - "The Spice Necklace" only it makes me more homesick for islands. BUT I have come up with a mission statement - it is forming and will go into written words, and most always what I write comes to me in some manner.

Ok, going to take the Guido for a walk, the sun is gone, the dark is descending - and then paint some more! I love everything I paint lately and don't want to part with it. I think another show is coming up in September, which is exciting! The Farmers' Market downtown draws artists, but it is too hot. I would faint. Marketing plans WILL come to me, I'm sure. Soon. I hope.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Sigh.

Have been going through a bit of an emotional time again. Struggling to get equilibrium back - the melancholies are hard to unwrap from one's head sometimes.

They tell us the oil deluge has been stopped. They now wait, test, and wait to see if it will hold. One report states that the well is 14,000 feet into the bottom of the sea which is also a mile down. Even man can push the limits of even the earth. Why should I be surprised that man can also push the limits of another man? Speaking in broad terms - the word "men."

My painting is stalled in the midst of the melancholies and I not feeling up to par in the body as well as emotions.

Grandson and I are scheduled to go on a two week vacation out of state and I shiver a little thinking of the long travel times and convoluted connections with this particular trip. Perhaps a change of scenery will help. I hope I am not fooling myself about my stamina. He is supposed to be on the internet looking for places to see and things to do, but is preferring to watch TV.

I have been able to continue with Curves (cardio strength training for women). Though I love feeling stronger in the muscles, I am reminded three times a week just how much I hate exercise! Have aggravated a knee - but the whole program is so flexible, I can work around aches and pains and bad days. If this is what I must do to slow aging and stay reasonably healthy, I must.

Another art show is coming up in September and I am getting prints made of a few paintings and some cards. That is exciting because it brings up possibilities for other materials; cards, smaller prints, etc. I MUST paint as doors are opening! Now, the continual artist's bane- will it sell?

With the prints, my "babies" - the ones that are emotionally meaningful can stay with me.

So, I have nothing more exciting to say.

Friday, July 09, 2010

Nightmare in Paradise



Painting "Blood on the Water" done by Rod Obe - about 25 years ago. It is interesting to me that the rust color floating on our water looks like blood.




Disasters come in many forms - I have read about oil "spills," and visited California beaches and wondered at the oily film on the water as far back as 25 years ago. I have been through three hurricanes, of various intensity, even one that claimed about five to six years of our area's life in cleanup and restoration and over 100 residents' lives. I have been through snow storms that buried houses across the street from me, and read of tsunamis and earthquakes and seen pictures of the devastation from those types of disasters.

I have never seen anything like this.

Fisherman speak into the reporter's microphones, holding up blackened powdery oysters saying that the oysters are gone and it will take at least three years to grow more, that is IF the water were clean. Our water may never be clean or friendly to life again as no one knows how long the puncture in our earth's crust that is allowing this science fiction sized deluge to pour forth will continue. Some estimate if the deluge is stopped today, perhaps ten years for clean up, but there is secrecy and lies and speculation. BP has effectively killed off a huge fishing and tourist industry and before this is over, if not stopped soon, most, if not all, of the marine life in the Gulf of Mexico. The potential exists that it could eventually affect the Caribbean and the Eastern Seaboard of the U.S.

I have pictures on my cell phone from a trip grandson and I made to a favorite fishing pier. It is roped off, equipment marring the coast line - metal "booms" - and a guard to make sure no one gets too close to the whole scenario which is clouded with secrecy and $40,000 fines and Class A Felony charges if one passes a certain demarcation too close to "clean up" efforts. Yet everything within sight is still, no one is there but the guard. We can swim in, wade through, and cleanup the mess when it hits our backyards though.

The President meets in secret (to my knowledge, no public or press allowed) with the military and the County Commissioners. People work in the "clean up" without proper protective gear, with few, if any, long term studies on the effects of exposure to the oil, the fumes, and the chemicals that have been released into the Gulf of Mexico.

It is like something out of an Orwellian scene to see the long lines of people whose incomes have gone to nothing from the spill standing in lines and picketing, hopeful that BP will hire them to clean up BP's mess for a whopping $10.00 and hour! Yes, I know, in our destroyed economy that is at least enough to feed one's family.

No one has the answers of what will happen, or speaks of it anyway, as this stuff moves into our wetlands, our waterways and seeps underground through the porous limestone soil base in this area into our drinking water and into water we use to irrigate and cook and bathe. Maybe they have the answers, but that is another secret no one wants to talk or think about.

I watched a video made by a resident of the area, and BP's idea of beach clean up in this case is clearly shown - in early morning hours, a bulldozer moves down the beach, pushing sand over the top of the oil and I wonder how many times can this be done before our beaches become a toxic waste dump - is the answer already obvious? They already are toxic waste dumps. The oil is obviously toxic and we don't have clear information exactly what chemicals are coming ashore with the oil. We know large measures of methane and benzene are included. One of the videos shows the surf boiling like water in a pot on the stove.

Where were the inspectors, where was any ounce of integrity with the company? Did anyone ask any questions as one of the, if not the largest deep water well in the world, if not this hemisphere cracked into the earth's core? When an exception to having a tight plan in the case of a "spill" was granted when the permit was issued? An alarm was not sounded when BP's top executive reportedly sold off his shares about a week before the explosion. Or Goldman Sachs reportedly divested its holdings in the company before the explosion.

It is reported that now there are 17,000 wells in the Gulf of Mexico, off the shores, that have been capped off since the 1940's. These wells have the potential of blowing at any time as they are not inspected to make sure the caps are holding according to one investigative report. I posted a map of the amount of wells in the Gulf, the yellow dots marking the wells are almost wall to wall for miles.

A politician, a senator from Louisiana, states on TV that she has accepted thousands of dollars from BP for her campaigns up to two weeks before the oil spill. And sees nothing wrong with that while being involved in overriding the President's ban on offshore drilling. A law is passed by our politicians that corporations will not be limited in amounts they can give to politicians and their campaigns. Have we lost our country to greed, to money mongers? I can't remember for sure, but the amounts may have amounted to hundreds of thousands the politician had accepted.

In the U.S., we have become the proverbial frog in the pot - never questioning, never researching, never caring as long as we are comfortable, what the long term consequences are of our blind obedience to our comfort and big money, in this case oil corporations which have become a world economy, thus controlling our lives. We deride, at the worst, or ignore scientific findings of what is happening to the planet we call home. ("We" being the majority of the population.)



My heart is sick - I am one person, a half healthy retired grandma, I am not an organizer, not even sturdy enough to pick up a sign and go stand in protest in the 100 degree heat for a day, I long to throw myself in front of the bulldozers, but "H" tells me I could cost our family the loss of our home and my presence because of the penalties and not make a difference anyway.

BUT, I have become passionate where I can - I recycle, I compost, I change to energy efficient light bulbs, gather my errands into one day to minimize use of fossil fuel, I am writing people who send catalogs and junk mail, and tell them to stop. I do what I can in my tiny sphere of influence. And I shout out what I see, what I think. I show my grandson the horrors of what has happened - a sea holocaust- and tell him, "remember!" Maybe he will be the scientist who makes a difference, an honest politician, a geologist, an environmentalist. I post on Facebook the obvious truths of what is happening to our planet and face ridicule and anger from people I thought were my friends. I don't care, alarm after alarm has been sounded and we (including myself) go on as if the air we breathe, the water we drink, the planet we live on will go on the same forever. It won't.

Yes, I am heartbroken. Scared. And angry. Not just because the most beautiful landscape our area has to offer as been irrevocably ruined, but because we (our society's way of life, our corporations, and many of our politicans) are killing our planet, our creatures, and ultimately ourselves. Thanks for listening! It is my heart for people to realize that this disaster is not just here in the South, but the same bomb is ticking, is lurking in the waters all around the world, with the potential for the same type of disaster to cover the earth with blood covered water. Water is life - our body is 70% water!