Friday, July 10, 2009
Puppet onna string...............
This is me - bag under arm - glasses - loping along the beach. (I've been told I really don't walk, I "lope.") Actually this is the avatar I painted for our collaborative painting at the beach - I obviously wasn't in the mood to paint. She is supposed to be a gray heron.
I've been so busy preparing to go to Wyoming for my mother's surgery - the circumstances keep jumping this way and that way - and I hate last minute stuff but I feel like a marionette being pulled by strings I have little control over. Anyway by Wednesday I should be on the plane, understandbly nervous about this for several reasons. I have felt like crap - that's blunt I know, this last week. Still not all the way back.
As I told my sister, anticipation is the worst of anything.
Yesterday my mother called to tell me she had a heart attack but was cleared for surgery, but what the doctor may have seen as heart damage could also be a breast. My first panic reaction was that if the doc didn't know the difference, I would cancel surgery ASAP. But what I did was call the doctor. Everything looks good for surgery - he said sometime in the far distant past there had been an "event" in the left side of the heart but her heart was working pretty well, a bit of blood flow not quite as it should be in lower base of heart, but the rest was pretty good.
So, while I had him on the phone, I ask what was the deal she was telling me about now for the last two years that they had told her she only had "three to five" years to live, and that two of those years had past since the doc's office had told her that. A silence ensued and then, did I hear laughter in the voice, the doc's PA said that they had never said that, and if that's all she had left, well, they could say the end would NOT be from a cardiac event, that she was actually in very good health. Busted! So when I told her she could stop worrying because there had been a misunderstanding and they had never told her that, she said "YOU didn't TELL them I told you that, did you? Well, yes, I, uh, thought it could potentially be a significant matter but aren't you happy because you do not have to worry about dying very soon now. I have a sixth sense to know when she is jerking my strings and I was right. Oh boy.
Will probably be a bad blogger for a while, at least until I get settled in there - and then after the surgery, I figure the nights will be long. I already have developed a habit of roaming about at night sorting paperwork, drinking coffee, checking to see what's on TV.
I've convinced myself I need to focus more and watch TV less AND save money for silly things like food, so I have cut back to 24 channels plus a few add ons - no more 70 channels. Grandson came to stay a few days and is in major shock. "H" hasn't come home to the bad news yet, haha. That means no more "Sci Fi" channel or "SyFy" as they have renamed it, for me. Egad. Will there be withdrawal?