Monday, June 05, 2006

Continuation of "Tips for Flying in America"

1. NEVER take any personal information in your suitcases. My package with my bills is missing. Two hours on the telephone with TSA whose screeners surely are reading off the same script issued to all of them to blindly read no matter what the circumstance, yielded nothing. (Maybe they are not real people, but robots!) Some of my keys are missing, including my house key and car key. These guys have my address and house & car key? God help me.

2. NEVER dispute any item labeled as a weapon to be anything other than a weapon. This appears to move one over into the "lets take an hour and dump out all the contents of any bag this person might be carrying, over and over and then "lose" stuff," and also move you one step closer to criminal prosecution.

3. Don't bother wasting your time trying to recover any "confiscated" items, no matter what it says on the TSA website.

4. Don't call the confiscated items, "confiscated." That REALLY makes them mad. Their robot eyes glare red! Things disappear "accidentally." Sort of like accidentally attempting to carry a key ring and film developing gear onto a plane, only the shoe is on the other foot.

This was all so reminiscent of crossing the border from Albania into Macedonia. The police made us drive our vehicle across through a bath of disinfectant. Then we were ordered to get out of the car and walk back through the murky pool and back across the border again. We were searched, our cameras were seized and our film ripped out. (Mine was x-rayed 4 times durnig this trip, same difference.) My shoulders went to the same defensive posture as at the Pensacola airport with the same goose bump fear that death or injury was not far off. When TSA starts offering us a "shower" before we got on the plane, don't go, but run, run, run, run, remember the concentration camp "showers."


5. Last but not least, do not have a stunning haircut - it just draws attention! If you must have dazzling hair, drive, not fly.

3 comments:

FOUR DINNERS said...

Did you know - if you're in a plane that carries cargo (loose on smaller ones or built in containers on larger ones) that under your feet could be flammable liquid, radioactive, infectious substances, spontaniously combustible, flammable gas, explosives etc etc etc? Possibly all at the same time (although the US has more restrictions on radac than we do). Even worse, I could be the one who's signed 'em off as 'safe to fly'!!! It's a worry....take a boat

Hattigrace said...

I am still not believing all you suffered. Okay, do we still live in USA?????

Hattigrace said...

Thanks D!