Friday, September 05, 2008

Mammarical Structural Engineering

Well, after reading a prophetic word about saying bad/critical things about people, leaders, etc., etc., after what I've been working so hard to stop doing, I have to say I'm not too proud of the last post. So how about a crazy one - ?


An email from Victoria's Secret today announced a newly engineered bra - a space age bra - a bra to end all bras. It was pretty. Not $50 worth of pretty. My mind, my poor aberrant mind, asks "Why do women's mammaries have to have special engineering anyway?" Imagine a social gathering. "What do you do for a living" "I am a mammary structural engineer."

Then the next thing came to me (is it ADD, these strange brain roamings?) was that Howard Hughes had engineered a bra for Jane Russell. I couldn't help it - I had to go there. It was entirely interesting, especially since I was raised on these movies and movie stars and one of my favorite movies was a not-so-far-in-the-past one about Howard Hughes.

Famous bras: Madonna's early costumes. Nurse Cratchett from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Does anyone know of any other famous feats of bra engineering? Ah, the maternity bra with the flap that opens to provide nourishment to lucky babies. Any others?

Ok - one more curiosity. Mammary implants. As a joke, I said to "H," "Let's get some new ones." Reply: "Huh?" "I like them just the way they are." "Ok, why do you look at the women who are so, uh, so, uh - perky."
Reply - "Harrrrumph!"

Soooooo, since this also falls under the category of structural engineering, I began another poll. It seems about 50/50 - boyfriends and husbands "liking them just they way they are" and "yay, let's go shopping!" Some replies were dependant on the variable of who would be paying for the implementation once the prelimary structural studies were completed. Most women said they "did it" for themselves, one way or the other. Now I am going to do something much more constructive - I'm getting off the computer and I'm not researching to see who invented these more invasive structural feats.


tweetey30 said...

Bigger Boobs for the lucky ones but hey if they get em to big they will have back problems.. LOL.. Sorry a little humor I used to get from my mom when I was just starting out..

Gardenia said...

I know :) !!!! I meant for most of the post to be funny in ways

punxxi said...

i hate wearing one and usually don't at home unless humans are visiting =O nobody can really tell the difference unless it's cold.

Wandering Coyote said...

Man, the greatest bra I've ever had was $11 at W-M and is Hanes Her Way. I'm wearing it now. Very low tech, and extremely comfy!

Candy Minx said...

I don't think you should apologize or feel bad about your last post. Most of US and the world, had to respond by instinct and intuition when McCain announced his nom for VP. She was barely heard of before. This potential VP has serious drawbacks. Her opinions about the parenting and fredom of women to decide for themselves if they are ready to have children is the very major issue as a drawback. It's frightening!

Meanwhile here is another article to consider...a different perspective from England:

And I haven't tried one of these but they are supposed to be amazing bras...(I have to go bra shopping this weekend, yikes!)

Milla said...

I have been wearing the same kind of bras for years: £14.00 from BhS, black, underwired and comfy -and not very structurally engineered :)

Zorro always says he adores my breasts, while instead I have always hated them, because they are ugly. Zorro is like H, that he looks at other women's and when I ask him why he does so, he says 'Why not? If these women are showing them off...'
And what do you answer to that?

Gardenia said...

oh Milla, I'm sure he does love your breasts, you are his woman! - guys are just guys -i think in primitive times they were just engineered to make sure the race continued so the mass mating instinct, scanning the herd, has not completley died out - and consider - our men are with us, not someone else - and we are real women - no one can look like a movie star all the time, not even movie stars - I wonder if men are as insecure as us women?

Babe said...

Go Hanes Her way!
I have too many bras that are pricey and uncompfortable!
Hanes from WM are GREAT!
This coming from a newly large breaster.
Thirty Lbs. will do that.
Have you ever seen the bra that contains these gel like pads in them?
I saw some and thought it was "interesting."

Babe said...

Get this......
It was actually a woman who invented the bra!
Mary Phelps Jacob.
And the name,"brassiere" comes from an old French word meaning,"upper arm."
Go figure......
Her first one was made from 2 silk hankerchiefs and some pink ribbon.
Google knows everything. LOL

Gardenia said...

LOL, yes I own one of the jell bras, but had to take those out, because "the girls" were falling out the plunge of the bra. Then I own another one that is for special dresses - like the top I wore to the wedding - but it really needs an instruction booklet as well as an assistant to get everything in place.

Another LOL - yeh, thirty pounds does make a difference - most of my bras now have enough extra room in them to carry a cell phone, hand sanitizer, snacks, kleenex, and other accessories for outings.

I think I could use a box of shrink wrap - LOL. Naw, its not that bad, its just that I am used to having cleavage up to my chin.