Sunday, September 28, 2008
When Love Turns Dirty
Every September and every spring our area is deluged with a flying insect, or rather I should say, thousands of flying insects - in pairs - and, uh, obviously - uh - in the throes of serious mating. Now these guys (and gals) must have a terribly high libido because they are completely oblivious to anything but mating - thus the nickname, "Love Bugs."
They are everywhere, in your hair, on the cars, your windows, in your house, on your clothing, in the kitty's fur - they stick to everything. No, the sticky is not what you imagine, rather it is Love Bug fatty tissue - read on.
I don't know anyone who loves these guys, because they are really, really messy in their romantic couplings. Just think of being the middle of mating and finding yourself in the whirling air conditioner of a vehicle. Being a Love Bug is not easy. Their short lives are fraught with danger, no one likes them (but I think they don't care) and they have a lot of fatty tissue despite their thin appearance! It is a good thing they die out quickly or they could suffer from all sorts of artery clogged diseases. Instead, they just clog our mechanical equipment.
An excerpt from a Love Bug report: Lovebugs are a considerable nuisance to motorists. They congregate in unbelievable numbers along highways and the insects spatter on the windshields and grills of moving trucks and automobiles. Windshields become covered with the fatty remains, and vision is obscured. During flights, the flies clog radiator fins causing cars to overheat. They also get into refrigeration equipment on trucks causing them to malfunction. The fatty tissue will cause pitting of the car's finish if it is not removed within a few days. Flies enter cars and sometimes drivers and passengers soil their clothing by sitting on lovebugs. They are also a considerable nuisance to fresh paint. The flies enter houses under construction in such numbers that carpenters refuse to work. Beekeepers complain because worker bees do not visit flowers that have been infested with the flies.
So, tomorrow is a no brainer for me - I am heading to the car wash for a really good scrub and a wax - and then to have my lovely car serviced and perhaps shop for a bra. No, not for me - for the car. I would love to find one covered in tropical flowers for "H's" little orange HHR. No, that's not a good idea - these little bugs are drawn to flowers and about the only good function they serve is to pollinate. That, and they act as recyclers as they eat certain matter and convert it to matter that is good for the soil.
So we endure a few more weeks until mating season passes. And wash our cars a lot.