Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Where have all the Endorphins Gone?
I have lost two posts - the "save now" button seems to be non-functioning. I much preferred the old "save as draft." At least that one saved.
Have been mired in technology traumas which are shredding my nerves. My new camera has a problem with adjusting for lighting - or I do. Needs lots more practice. I spent two hours downloading drivers for my scanner that quit working, checking connections, etc., and it still won't work. I have been trying to saw a copper circle for hours on end and am 99% convinced jewelry making is not my forte. It makes me mad though, because there isn't one artsy, craftsy, creative thing I have tackled that I have not been able to conquer and be good at it. Not the best, but pretty darn good. The metal and the saws laugh at me. The heat from the torches and lights in the studio make me feel ill. The class is overcrowded so it takes five times as long to achieve something than it should.
The elliptical hasn't arrived. I called the store and threatened to bring the receipt back for refunding. Just received a call though that the delivery guy is on his way. I'm thinking I probably made a mistake. The evil side of me is saying, just go to bed, eat and watch TV. The channel lately holding my fascination is Discovery Channel and the battles of the extremely obese. I'm thinking, "oh my gosh, that could be me!" Then I think, no it couldn't - these people obviously have someone in their lives that would be extremely codependent because they weigh so much they can't even get out of bed or roll over. Now, that would exclude cooking and grocery shopping - so what is going on THERE? Love gone wrong? Actually feeding someone to the point of death is not love exactly. I'm afraid to have back surgery because I won't be able to take care of myself. No codependents here. Well, maybe there are - just not the overfeeding type. And "J" cleans up enough poop at the hospital, I would not have any luck there. No one here to feed me until I reach 800 pounds. Hey, how's that for an impressive bout of morbid compulsive thoughts?
In regard to the folks on the Discovery Channel, I have to admit to some admiration - I realize eating can be an addiction as well as anything else. I struggle. At some point, they made a decision to regain their lives, and against all odds began the climb back to active, whole lives.
Next, aren't the above pics wonderful? I love the water - I love it so much. It soothes my tortured soul - mountains scatter it. The crawfish - not so wonderful - but thought y'd get a kick out of seeing them. Maybe.
I made rice crispy treats with a thick chocolate crunchy top. The boy likes a treat when he gets home from school. He would live off of sugar if left to his own devices. He has to be rationed. I wanted one. Didn't.
Yas, I'm in a weird mood. Give me an hour on the elliptical and i'll report back in! Hopefully I still have endorphins waiting to be released somewhere!