Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day
Is Valentine Day supposed to be a day of love or romance? Or both? Or friendship? In grade school I looked forward to that day more than any other. I would take my hoard of valentines home and look at them over and over. With luck there would be a few candies too. Kids would scan the valentines for anything that looked like "love" - then there were hoots and giggles.
In other countries and other times, Valentine Day has been for friends as well as lovers, for children and for religious reasons.
Can romance and love be different? I think......yes! Its best when combined though!
Wouldn't it be awesome to have both?
But when I think of romance, I think of the movie "Dr. Zhivago," Frieda Kahlo and her lovers Trostsky and the man she married who devastated her with his affairs - Bogart & McCall - most of the time romance doesn't turn out so well.
Then - is it love that kicks in for the long haul? Who knows?
This is most absolutely awful - but I have to confess the most romance in my life occurred when I was not married. The exotic foreigner who wrote me tons of love letters, extolling my virtues and beauty. So he said. Romance in the forest on the reservation filled with the scents of woodsmoke and sounds of birds. Romance with the wild Irishman. The professor whose smile was dazzling and lit my days. The artist who wanted me to come with him to an artists' commune in Canada. Would I have married any of them - no. They were wildly romantic but poor long term prospects. Or am I afraid and have been afraid for a long time?
Why is it that often those that one should be most intimate with - those are the very ones one a person will avoid such intimacy with. Yeh, bad sentence.
The wild Irishman is dead. He wanted to marry me. I looked at his ex-wife and five kids and thought, "You've got to be kidding." That kicked in some reality for me. We split. A few years back, "H" came home from Iowa and told me, "Faber is dead." Then watched me closely for my reaction. I guess we are a piece of everyone who has loved us. That was my secret. That piece was tucked far away in my heart. I just said "That's too bad."
The days with thoughts consumed by the object of romance. The waiting by the phone - (when we didn't have cell phones). The thought of meeting soon...........
of hearing a song and every word belonged to the romance....wouldn't it be nice if this could stay in marriage?
Is it possible to be in love with romance?
What is it all about anyway? Remember being consumed with the thoughts of someone? At least for a while never being able to see their flaws nor they yours. The heat of passion - the sweetness.
Valentine Day can have as much disappointment for some as any other holiday because of expectations. Anyway, I hope you have a Valentine to share with today - or you have a good book to curl up with, maybe a box of fabulous chocolate (yeh, just go buy some yourself if you haven't a box!) - have a good romantic read or movie or music on your agenda tonight! Fond memories. Or someone in your past, present or future. Or, grab someone, and MAKE a good Valentine Day! Might be the cat or dog....sorry, just joking!