Saturday, July 26, 2008

Kids and Pets



Kids and Pets are at the mercy of whoever "owns" them.

I had a pastor once who said that you can tell the value a town puts on its children by seeing how much the town tolerates animal abuse and neglect. Think about it.

My kitty looks so trusting, innocent and helpless doesn't he? The hunt for him still continues. Too much rain tonight. It left me wondering if he is cold and wet and hungry. The other ones stick close to me like they know something is terribly wrong. I pamper them with special canned treats and a little chicken. They are appreciative. Its almost like losing a child - it makes the remaining ones seem more precious than they were before the loss.

The kid photo - the one on the right is me - (the tall one of course) and on the left, a life long friend, Ann. We still keep in touch often. Two little girls who carry the weight of the world on their shoulders - who would have guessed. Ann was widowed when she was 19 and pregnant.

I have so much weighing on my mind. Children want so to keep things status quo and familiar. Even though that familiarity isn't necessarily the best for them. Its always hard knowing what to do. When I grew up, no matter how terribly complicated things were, the only place to go was in my head, and I didn't have any comparisons and I thought that's just the way things were. Dreary, always dreary. Trying not to make waves. Any waves.

The weight is almost paralyzing. It's nearly midnight now, and I want to go open another box in the garage. It is labeled "canvas." I wonder if perhaps it also contains pastel paper. There is another art party tomorrow night. I feel like making black ravens. But I am too paralyzed to do art. I miss fierce anger - at least I could get stuff done.

Went to get hair trimmed for wedding - Todd says that it is hard growing up, but maybe having it hard makes us more deeply attuned and more compassionate. He has a bitty black, baby toy poodle that the boy holds the entire time we are all in the shop.

I tell "H" the boy has finally found the kind of dog he wants. And, at home all hell breaks loose - I didn't say we got one, really, why the explosion? But I know that there will be no more animals in this house because they deserve to be respected by all the inhabitants of a home, and not treated as a nuisance or worse. Different values - a pet brings joy and peace to my home in my mind, not resentment and anger. One might get frustrated with some of their antics - but to hate them, no way. Maybe in his new home the boy can have a puppy. Maybe. Stepdad says he doesn't want the boy's cat, Psycho. "H" doesn't want Psycho here - so now what? IF, IF there was such a thing as reincarnation I would hope both stepdad and "H" come back as cats. At an animal shelter. Something about walking a mile in someone's moccasins to learn empathy.

I smile because the boy says that Psycho is the little brother he never had. I don't smile because now he's afraid Psycho will disappear too. Pretty darn lonely when you think a cat is your little brother. All of us fear loss because of the loss of my son. Because of the loss of property in a tornado. Because people go away. How do we teach children and ourselves to move on?

Ah, company is coming, I'm excited. Rays of sunshine! Some of my favorite people in the whole world, lively, stimulating conversation! Warmth. Yay. And someone to share a stick of butter with! (Smile) I think I will try pricing out a condo on the beach - wouldn't that be fun? Come on Monday so I can make some phone calls.

Went to see Mama Mia tonight waiting for the black cloud to leave the house - it was nice to laugh myself silly and to be so delighted by a movie. See it for some light hearted laughter - it has a good cast - great scenery - fun story line -

6 comments:

tshsmom said...

You really do have a huge black cloud hanging over you right now! I pray for clear skies for you.

I don't understand people that don't have compassion for animals. When a pet comes into our home, it becomes part of our family and is loved unconditionally. And our pets have given us soooo much unconditional love in return! Losing a pet IS similar to losing a child.

Why would your daughter choose a man who wouldn't love and accept her ENTIRE family, including the cat?! Your grandson will have a hard enough time adjusting to a new man in Mom's life, plus leaving his home. He NEEDS the comfort his "little brother" will bring him. My heart aches for all the stability your grandson is losing!

Biddie said...

I do not understand people that simply cannot tolerate or worse - hate animals. My Ruby Tuesday is everything to me. Unconditional love at its best.
I hope that Mama Mia gave you a couple of hours of lightheartedness and a brief reprieve from your troubles.
I will pray that kitty comes home soon.
Hugs xx

tweetey30 said...

Wow. Hugs from me and the girls for starters and I hope all this goes away soon and you find your putty tat... That is sad. I know when I was about 8 or 9 my moms cat got let outside and we couldnt find him for weeks and then he came home and he wasnt the same after that and she had to put him down. It was sad.. But hopefully you find your kitty before then.

Its sad when people dont respect animals. You know Jeff isnt a cat lover either but he respects Snowie. I mean he just bought her a new toy today.

So is Mama Mia worth seeing then?? I have heard its funny.

Cherie said...

A post of emotions all over the map. I recognize such. Sigh.

I hope you find your cat, Gardenia. I know what you mean about pets - we love our dog/cat/rabbit so much.

I'm sorry that your grandson doesn't have the homelife he deserves. A weight on your shoulders for sure. A hard hard thing.

Like Tshs, I pray for clear skies for you and yours.

Thanks for the tip about Mama Mia! I have been wondering if it was a good watch. Lighthearted sounds pretty good right about now.

Hattigrace said...

Good grief girl. You know my computer was gone for a while so I have not been out in blogland. I had no idea your cat was missing or all the other crap you are going through. Yech. Double YECH.

I am so sorry. What a terribly tough time.

I love you boatloads and pray God's mercy and favor for you and your family.

Milla said...

I've come back to read this post again. The picture is beautiful, and you are smiling so happily!

I hope things will sort themselves out, Gardenia. I think you are doing everything possible that you can do, and I admire you A LOT for that.