Saturday, July 26, 2008
Kids and Pets
Kids and Pets are at the mercy of whoever "owns" them.
I had a pastor once who said that you can tell the value a town puts on its children by seeing how much the town tolerates animal abuse and neglect. Think about it.
My kitty looks so trusting, innocent and helpless doesn't he? The hunt for him still continues. Too much rain tonight. It left me wondering if he is cold and wet and hungry. The other ones stick close to me like they know something is terribly wrong. I pamper them with special canned treats and a little chicken. They are appreciative. Its almost like losing a child - it makes the remaining ones seem more precious than they were before the loss.
The kid photo - the one on the right is me - (the tall one of course) and on the left, a life long friend, Ann. We still keep in touch often. Two little girls who carry the weight of the world on their shoulders - who would have guessed. Ann was widowed when she was 19 and pregnant.
I have so much weighing on my mind. Children want so to keep things status quo and familiar. Even though that familiarity isn't necessarily the best for them. Its always hard knowing what to do. When I grew up, no matter how terribly complicated things were, the only place to go was in my head, and I didn't have any comparisons and I thought that's just the way things were. Dreary, always dreary. Trying not to make waves. Any waves.
The weight is almost paralyzing. It's nearly midnight now, and I want to go open another box in the garage. It is labeled "canvas." I wonder if perhaps it also contains pastel paper. There is another art party tomorrow night. I feel like making black ravens. But I am too paralyzed to do art. I miss fierce anger - at least I could get stuff done.
Went to get hair trimmed for wedding - Todd says that it is hard growing up, but maybe having it hard makes us more deeply attuned and more compassionate. He has a bitty black, baby toy poodle that the boy holds the entire time we are all in the shop.
I tell "H" the boy has finally found the kind of dog he wants. And, at home all hell breaks loose - I didn't say we got one, really, why the explosion? But I know that there will be no more animals in this house because they deserve to be respected by all the inhabitants of a home, and not treated as a nuisance or worse. Different values - a pet brings joy and peace to my home in my mind, not resentment and anger. One might get frustrated with some of their antics - but to hate them, no way. Maybe in his new home the boy can have a puppy. Maybe. Stepdad says he doesn't want the boy's cat, Psycho. "H" doesn't want Psycho here - so now what? IF, IF there was such a thing as reincarnation I would hope both stepdad and "H" come back as cats. At an animal shelter. Something about walking a mile in someone's moccasins to learn empathy.
I smile because the boy says that Psycho is the little brother he never had. I don't smile because now he's afraid Psycho will disappear too. Pretty darn lonely when you think a cat is your little brother. All of us fear loss because of the loss of my son. Because of the loss of property in a tornado. Because people go away. How do we teach children and ourselves to move on?
Ah, company is coming, I'm excited. Rays of sunshine! Some of my favorite people in the whole world, lively, stimulating conversation! Warmth. Yay. And someone to share a stick of butter with! (Smile) I think I will try pricing out a condo on the beach - wouldn't that be fun? Come on Monday so I can make some phone calls.
Went to see Mama Mia tonight waiting for the black cloud to leave the house - it was nice to laugh myself silly and to be so delighted by a movie. See it for some light hearted laughter - it has a good cast - great scenery - fun story line -