Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Exotic Males & Medical Madness
Ah, Gustav! My life is filled with exotic foreign men today - the first...Gustav! Is he from Russia, the Balkins? Rumors are he's an exciting one, a likely category 3 or 4 which means you don't want him to land on shore, for sure in our town. Looks like we'll be on the dangerous east side. Gustav's probability shows a size storm that took out most of the Gulf Coast before. So we wait in suspense, watching, for the rest of the week, preparing to evacuate or stay. And I am reminded, size does matter. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
We went to the hospital, leaving the house at 4:00 a.m. after scrubbing my body twice in the night with a burning antiseptic soap then endured all the pre-op prep. I made it through R. N. #1, the surgical physician's assistant, and the OR nurse. She came in and sounded the alarm. Five minutes before surgery the surgeon came in, cute thing he is, and quizzed me about the antibiotics - well, seems as if I still have a small, but lingering sinus infection and he was not about to begin working with bones, metal, grafts, etc., etc. with possible bacteria floating about my body. (Seems his office person had not passed that tidbit of information on to him when I informed them last week that I was not well.) Since he is so very cautious I am so very impressed.
Sooooooooooo - he sent me home, with a two week surgery goal. I was pretty looped from the pre-op meds so I merely laid there looking at him with a silly grin on my face, lost in my weakness for Italian men.
"H," my Norwegian husband, was rounded up from the cafeteria where he was eating breakfast with a man he met that was there for his ex-wife's surgery. "H" got the low-down on the man's testicle removal and marital experience and had quite a conversation in progress.
I was introduced, thinking this man, Ivan, or was it Igor - or perhaps something Greek - my head was swimming - was perhaps an old friend of "H's". I mean how often do us girls meet a stranger and offer the news that one of our ovaries is missing? Only to a close friend, if then. But we ("H," Ivan, and I) had a pleasant breakfast - and I am more convinced than ever that I need to stay away from the combination of mind-altering substances and food as the food suddenly becomes irresistible.
I loved where the hospital is - the location and atmosphere reminded me of a small town - where everyone says hello and at least appears friendly rather than short tempered and grumpy.
The hospital ER staff where I had grandson Sunday did not even look at him during admittance and he was wristbanded as a girl. The resident didn't look at him either, all the time addressing us with questions referring to
"she." I finally asked him if he had the wrong patient, as grandson was obviously of the male sex." Resident still didn't look up.
Back at today's hospital, the facility was spotless, the food good, and everyone so nice AND efficient. I am actually looking forward to this surgery now.
In the meantime one of the Pastor's from our church came to visit, and we were having a fantastic visit, when the nurses came in and said the doctor would be very unhappy if I didn't attend to nature's functions and peed the bed during surgery. Soooooo.....not used to running around in front of holy men while in split back hospital gowns, I backed my way out to the "loo" as graciously as I could. We had a great visit with the pastor who is from England. Then we all gathered in a circle, including the pretty little veteran nurse, and prayed for the surgery. What fun! I should have had my camera.
Soooo - that was today and it just barely hit the noon hour - Wow! I hope I have sobered sufficiently to go pick up the boy. I came home, took a snooze and the family went their separate ways, so its me n' the boy probably for the rest of the day.