Interview

For me, this "Interview" started up at Red's blog. If you wish to participate and be interviewed, let me know. I'll send questions which you can copy and answer on your blog.

Here's the questions from Red and the answers from me:

If you could pass just one pearl of wisdom to your grandchildren, what would it be? Mine the Bible and inquire of God, all you need will be found in it.

Could Florida really have made a difference in the presidential election in 2000? I think Florida did make a difference in the 2000 election. I have some very strong views in this area which I won't expound on here other than I think Bush didn't actually "win" the election.

More so, after working so hard on testing the software for the new voting machines that evolved after the 2000 elections and knowing that the software probably STILL is not ready - even though laws were passed to make States compliant by now. Seems to me the fiasco in Florida bought on the fiasco of trying to change all the State's voting systems to meet certain Fed standards, and now the last I heard, Florida is dropping out. And Florida is a crucial state. And even then, with new and different voting machines and procedures, I'm not sure it would make an iota of a difference, not anymore. I believe in my heart now that no election is infallible, that there are multiple ways to tamper with an election. Seems the Feds wanted to make elections more unified from state to state. Before that, the states had a lot of leeway in setting up their elections. Maybe too much. And in 2000 Florida decides who will be president? Not the people, but the political powers? Now, in the backlash and hindsight I don't want to offend Republicans but forcing the states to become uniform seems to me to be opposite of the Republican leaning to make states more powerful and government less powerful. My paranoid nature wants to stand on the White House steps and demand an answer. Perhaps the 2008 elections will prove me wrong with my election worries. I hope.

Our governor is new - so far he seems to be moving in positive directions. Don't know where baby Bush is now. (And enough said about elections since I've become at least a small poster child for political whistle blowing.)

If you could travel through time -- both past and present -- where would you go and why? Oh my, I would do it like the Orient Express - I would start at one point and keep traveling, getting off the train so to speak where I may. Why? Because I have insatiable curiosity and desire to know everything I can know. First hand witnessing of events - yes! I would hang around for some time in the WWII era - because that's when I was born and the period of history fascinates me.

When did your love affair with Costa Rica start? When visiting there about four years ago (I think). Before that, my daughter visited there two years in a row and raved on for two years about Costa Rica. I thought, "yeh, yeh, yeh." But when I went, I too fell in love.

When did you last do something that you knew would be scary, but you went ahead and did it anyway (and feel proud of it now)? Traveling to Albania about nine years ago for my first "out of the USA experience."

New Piece on "Art" Link

Family Trip

Note: More info: Tammy Faye didn't produce the "Eyes" movie, actually it was shown at the Sundance Film Festival and nominated for a Grand Jury Prize. The write-up states that the film "details the affair that ended the PTL Ministry of Tammy and husband Jimmy Bakker as well as Tammy's emergence as a hero to alternative-lifestyle communities. I wonder how one would link the two - affair and hero to alternative........, etc. Hmmm.

Well its Sunday evening and this weekend has flown away to wherever weekends go. Ex-son-in-law is mowing the yard, I found husband on top of my Barefoot Dreams robe in the study snoring away. Little guy & I slept two hours. Needed it, I awoke this a.m. feeling ill. I've been lying awake at least 4 hours a night fretting about balancing books at work.

Drove over to daughter's house to see grandson off to his prom banquet and take granddaughter her birthday stuff - they are growing up and it caused me some tears to see them turning into adults, though they are wonderful kids and will be wonderful adults. Had intended to stop at Farmers Market but took the fast route instead.

He picked out his tuxedo because it looked like James Bond's. He loved the patent shoes until he found out they hurt.

News from the County - they keep sending legal papers. They waited four months until I had left town to set a "hearing" date. They are insisting I show up for hearing, bring an attorney, and pay for all attorneys involved on their side. Hahahahahah. I've been out of work for a full three months. They want me to produce all paperwork substantiating my "claim." I didn't ask for legal actions, only asked for a hearing for cause as to why I was fired, and that by letter. Next thing I get is a legal document called an "Answer" and they want me to pay for attorneys for them. They broke? Do I look stupid?

They continue to demonstrate they are crazy. They can harrass, but by golly, don't dish it back. Sometimes I am afraid. Other times angry enough at injustice to push it. Although apparently from the newspaper the news I am getting indicates they are having internal problems, so what they reap, they will sow. Million(s) disappearing from the assessment roles? What happened? Not a small miscalculation.
Enough of that.

Tammy Faye Baker

I used to sit down and sometimes my channel surfing would lead me to the PTL Club network. I didn't watch it for long as Tammy Faye reminded me too much of myself, overly emotional - THAT side of me. Sometimes I would get sort of fascinated contemplating a woman gutsy enough to do her eyes like that.

During the 80's, during the Bakers' rise and fall I rather self-righteously sniffed at people who had so much, yet they screw it up, ya know? Then when Falwell went in to take over the ministry I started paying some attention - as I personally think Falwell has a, well, a problem - rather he thinks he's pretty fine and everyone else has a problem. That IS his problem. It was kind of like watching a shark come in to finish off a wounded manatee.

Anyway, I didn't give the Bakers much thought except to feel compassion as they worked their way out of such a fall - Jim Baker's book was a good read and I began to think more of him. He wasn't one of those evangelists that think they can do anything to embarrass Christianity and then come back and continue to walk on water. This man was truly humbled.

Tammy? Well, I heard she began running with the gay crowd, her necklines were worn much too low - and those eyes? Yah. Still thick and black and mostly mascara. I don't know what made me bring the movie "The Eyes of Tammy Faye Baker" to the top of my movie watching queue. I LOVED the movie! So honest, so earthy, so HUMAN! And I realized this woman lives humanity, loves humanity, and my heart grew warm toward her. I cried as her daughter told how she slept in the hospital next to her mom, Tammy, as she went through a bout with cancer and how that time bought them so close together. I cried as I watched her brave struggles, her genious and talent that contributed toward the largest Christian broadcasting network in the world at one time. I cried as I watched her survive her husband's affair and the mockery and shunning she endured. Yet, she comes out still larger than life and glorious.

She was innovative and loved too much for most people. She reached out to the gays when the AIDS crises began and caused so much anguish for so many, and she boldly reached out, she didn't care what anyone thought - in the name of love. Wow.

Ahh, here's to ya, Tammy Faye. The pic at the top was captured off of a website of a person that is into "shrine" art. I have never thought of shrine art. I wish I had the URL - this dang new version of IE doesn't let you see the URL. Kind of like labs that take your blood and you pay, but only the doctor gets to know the results.

Anyway, its worth a visit. Tammy's movie is worth a visit. Love ya'll.

Krispy Kreme Donuts

When I first moved south, part of the local tradition was a Krispy Kreme Donut treat. At first I thought people were nuts - surely Dunkin Donuts were the best. But as time wore on, I became a died-in-the-wool Krispy Kreme believer. When I came for a visit, the rounds always included Krispy Kreme. I guess they are indigent especially to the South, but let me tell you they were literally unknown in the mountains.

Today was the grand opening of the new KK building, as the old one had been pretty well done in by a hurricane. But, some of us mourn the old one with so much "character" where you had to squeeze in behind the stools at the counter to pay for your prizes. One man even camped in front of the store today to be THE ONE to get the first donut from the new building. I'm waiting for a week before buying ONE, yes, only ONE donut for myself. The little fellows are quite addictive - before you know it, you can put down four and feel very woozy, stuffed, and have the "oh, I wish I hadn't done that" syndrom.

Sunday I fell on my rump and my tailbone is beyond sore. At first, I was terrified I'd injured my back again - but so far so good, it feels strong. But my bottom is soooooooo owwwwie. I think I should live in a bubble suit maybe.

Take care, going to go lay on my side for a while.

A Little Bit O Everything

Ahhh, working is eating my lunch so to speak. Acckkk. However after a little over two weeks of my brain seriously hurting, sort of like studying algebra, I can now balance pretty much to the penny, and my brain doesn't hurt so bad. I remember my yummy marketing professor - he said math is easy, all you have to do is count. Well, I was too embarrassed to confess that I am "counting handicapped." Yup.

I blogged last night, but was using AO-hell, and lost the blog, along with various emails I was composing. Next, I have no checks and need to pay bills. I have lost the password to my bill payment program at the bank. Cute. BUT, the house is clean, so clean. Rosa, I love YOU, if you are reading this. Still have to get lots of repairs done, but - there is hope!

The lost blog was a run-down of "Daughter from Danang." Tear jerker and thought provoker. Seems like many airlifted "orphans" from the VietNam war era were not orphans at all. Maybe I'll write about the movie again later.

Locked the keys (both sets) in the car tonight - I gave "Onstar" a try, and after a phone call, I went to the yard to watch - and, like magic, my locks popped up and I was able to access the car. Oh, for cool. Every month I get a report on how the car is operating. Shameless luxury. I sure would like to have the XM radio too, because it has the best ever blues channel.

Hubby pouted over the cost - whooo - $16 a month for Onstar. I think it is cheaper than locksmiths, towing trucks, stolen car locater, taking the car into the garage for diagnostics - oh, well, I pay for it, why should he pout.

The next wandering here leads me to an upcoming festival - the Crawfish and Seafood Festival. Lots of both of those and art and crafts will lure me to the park and lovely downtown streets. Grandson's school carnival kept me entertained for four hours Saturday. Montessori puts out some pretty bright kids. The teenaged musicians were fabulous. Art, from the 2 year old preschool on up auctioned off for as much as $900.00 per item - that for a quilt made by the 3-6 year olds. I tried to buy a hand painted pottery dish that grandson collaborated on, but when the price went to $250.00 I had to back down.

Enough! I have to pay bills. Really do.

Barricades to a good night's sleep

The name of the spy book is "Sisterhood of Spies" by Elizabeth McIntosh! Just found the book on Amazon.com.

This working is kicking my you know what! And I'm wondering if I will ever get it. I made it through Algebra by living in the lab. I'm not dumb, just slightly math impaired. I feel like ducking and running, but how will I pay for these silly meds?

What's new? Psycho bought home a half decapitated baby rabbit and laid it on our doorstep. What is that - a cat thing? And I thought in the cat kingdom that the girls hunted to feed the boys - so what's a boy cat doing hunting sweet little baby rabbits? He's a werecat, that's what. He is a lanky sort of teenage cat that likes to tumble and also be alpha. Now he's not only up against a cranky old Maine Coon, Big Mamma, aka, Miss Meowi is a bossy ol' gal and the two older cats beat up on him something fearful. Maybe the rabbit was a peace offering. Poor thing.

I need a place to sleep. This house has three TV's all simultaneously playing all night long. Drives me wacko. The couch in the room without TV doesn't feel good on my back. Actually no couch does it for me for my night sleep. My friend suggests a Murphy bed. I've seen some really sexy setups complete with computer space but they are expensive and I only have three walls, one of them being not large enough to pop one down I don't think. The do it yourself Murphy is not in my line of expertise. I can't even get people around here to pick their clothes and trash up off the floor let alone build me a Murphy bed. I'm thinking about getting a blow up bed - hahah, with air that is. But explosives are tempting.

If I weren't working, it would be better. I would turn off the TVs when he goes to work and go back to bed and get some sleep.

Tried the black eye mask and ear plugs, but then I can't hear my alarm go off and hubby is not only a snorer with the same decible level as a moving train, but a kicker, jerker, and whapper. (Yes, I KNOW he has sleep apnea, but to admit it would mean he would have to do something about it and THAT is definitely not a subject to bring up.) A bed to sleep a good night's sleep in, besides my friends and the scenery and wildlife, and my mother are the few good reasons I miss Wyoming at times.

Maybe will go look at daybeds for the study, but even daybeds take up inordinate amounts of room. I googled for "alternative sleeping spaces" and I really like the resort in Hawaii. Sounds good to me.

Oh sigh, I wish I could write intelligent and lofty posts like Candy Minx and "Voyages..."

Women in War

Just had a scare about as bad as coming close to death with a blood clot hitting the lung! I downloaded a "pack" of programs including the new Adobe reader 8 as I thought version 8 might help inordinately slow times for PDF files to load. Ooops - fatal errors popping up. Then computer freezes. Time and again. So vast wails of praying and hours later, I think I have "removed" the offending downloads - one of them being a Spyware program billed as "the best." Once that was out, she started cookin' again.

Scared me because I think all my software is packed somewhere, who knows where and a wipe out and reload would not be an option.

HNR - the little initials they use to decide if your blood is ok enough not to worry too much about THE clot - is still not where it should be by a long shot. I'm about to put out another $200.00 on more thinners. Finally got the doc to respond and look at the labs.

I met a woman at the back pain clinic today that is reading a book about the role of women spys (OSS) in World War II. Turns out she is a professor and is creating a class about women in war through the last century. Or something like that - doesn't that sound fun? She is going to loan me the book. When I get the title, I'll post it up.

Going to spend time with family now.......oops, one more computer thing - I realized how much I hate IE now - I downloaded Firefox and it has the window where you can actually see the complete URL and it is much faster than IE. For whatever its worth.

Weekend on the Beach

Brrr! The only people "swimming" were in the hot tub! A few "die hards" wandered the sand with coats on. Most of us just sat in front of big windows watching the waters change with the day...a most relaxing option it was. Most of our crew gathered and we watched "The Good Shepherd." I need to watch it again - my first impression although I couldn't hear parts of it and was interrupted lots, (that's ok) was that it was rather chilling. Anyway, on to work today - and the lab, and the back therapy place - and home. I hope my stamina soon returns and will meet the day!

HOPE

Happy Easter for those of you that celebrate - or Happy Passover - or just Happy Sunday! Hope you are warm and cozy and in the company of those you hold dear.

I'm feeling good enough I have some hope of functioning normally - for me that is, 50 mph! We'll start at 10 mph though.

It has been a sweet Easter - time with older daughter at condo yesterday - pics coming later - oh, its cold, everyone wanted sun and swimming so bad, and its too cold. They tried but shivered through it - I reminded them we have long, long summers so its not the end of the world. The view of the Gulf and soothing sound of the sea is balm enough. Youngest daughter planted plastic eggs here at the house and we had mini-egg hunt, and then a story of the resurrection, with even the cats curled up contentedly at our feet.

I missed the church service, hubby went while I got myself together and made pancakes. I missed this season of Lent services that I learned to enjoy in the United Methodist Church, the focus made the meaning of the season come home to me. Today I feel content, the rituals that comfort our hearts, that guide us, and assist us in the flow of life, that remind us of what we believe and even often encourage us to seek further for a higher purpose and to honor what is important to us are important to me. Yet, I am not rigidly held to them. I remember years of children, of remembering the Easter baskets, the Easter clothes, and panic to get to church, and get the right meals ready. Today, we'll wear our jeans, be together as a family, and not feast so much for the stomach but for our hearts.

Bless you all - - sending fondest thoughts your way for all the encouragement, ideas, advice, challenge to widen my world, kitty cat and art kindship, and much more - - - - -

Needles

The primary doc released me this afternoon with the rest of tests, etc. to be done "outpatient." Oh dear. I'm afraid I'll be fired before I start work. It the first transfusion caused a blood clot which lodged in the right lung. It took three emergency room visits to get the diagnosis down. (The transfusion caused clot is an extremely rare occurrence I am told) That transfusion also did not work - within the short time between the transfusion and the third admittance to ER, the red cell count was lower than it had been the first time around. Soooooooooo, into the hospital I went as an inpatient. Another transfusion later, millions (well, it feels like it!) of needle pokes in my body, a big bag of intravenous iron -- and here I am home now. Weak and dizzy.

In the mean time my mother is calling me as the County was mailing her certified mailings to notify me that I needed to produce all the "evidence" that I removed from the office. What evidence? Why my mother? When I returned to work my office had been ransacked, the computer was gone, my procedure books, and I was not given the time to find out what else had been "purloined." The new Clerk had stated in the local newspaper that she wasn't firing anyone, so why would I take "evidence?" Evidence of what? What are they afraid of that I might know? I really hope I don't need an attorney - or victims' witness progrm protection. (Just joking.) All I did was request a hearing from the Commissioners per our personnel policies to find out why I had been fired. I wanted them to say the reason.

So, when am I going to start having fun? DUnno. BUT am going to try to go into work tomorrow. Then oldest daughter has rented a condo on the beach for Easter holiday. I will join family overlooking the Gulf and perhaps get a book and bask in the sun. Couldn't read at the hospital - I was either being poked or on a gurney being wheeled somewhere for a test.

Going now, my youngest daughter is holding a needle saying something about its time for your Lovenox. (blood thinner) She informs me the drug is named so because they stick you in the love handles.

Time Out

Oops - Sheriff knocking at door, hospital sent out an all points bulletin - (joke) - they couldn't get ahold of me - I was sleeping - pulmonary embolism - gotta check into the "joint." (Hospital). Be back when clot dissolves and they loose me.

Weeds are not always Ugly

An early morning walk in the yard this morning to check our native plant patch netted this new bloomer - Spiderwort, considered an invasive plant in Florida, but charming in my patch with its delicacy. Bumble bees were already at work in some other plants. One of the banana trees seems to have survived, perhaps the other will soon come peeking through the old brown dead leaves. I love gardening, it is a quiet communication between me and creation, an intimate connection of mutual respect and silent thanksgiving for just being alive. Spiderwort illustrates that even weeds can be beautiful and thriving.


Feel as if I've nothing much to blog. Thought I would have gorgeous pics of the southern Alabama countryside by today, but as we prepared for the trip, I realized my chest hurt awfully bad and I was short of breath. I ignored it and we loaded up. We stopped at a popular restaurant for salad bar and neither of us could eat. My head was spinning still - even after two pints of blood!

So I called my daughter and she chewed me out for always doing too much and insisted I go to the emergency room. Oh no, not more hospital! Was she only trying to get even with me for all the times I insisted she take the kids to the doctor and nothing was wrong? (Family joke.)

I went home and took a nap and woke up feeling the same, so referenced the release papers from the day before. Ok, there they were - three of the symptoms that I was supposed to call the doctor about should they occur. Called doctor and received same instructions as I did from daughters. Soooooooooooo, back to the hospital I go. Another day shot all to pieces.

Seems I had a mild reaction to the transfusion and while looking for blood clots in the lungs, they decided I had an inflammation of the cartilage between the ribs. Oh fun, and I have to go to work tomorrow. More scolding from daughter about doing too much - well, I refuse to let life sit out there all by itself without me in it! The eerie thing is, is that my granddaughter is suffering from the same thing with the cartilage/ribs - perhaps it is just a new popular diagnosis (costochondritis) for chest pains. Maybe I could get a job being studied for annoying health things that happen to people.

Chickie poo, no blood, and beyond

Ah wants one, ah wants one baaaaaad. There is a plethora of little chicks for sale here. I see them everywhere on people, sort of like the tiny dog thing with movie stars. Oh they are so cuddly, so cute, and chickens make quite good pets I hear. However, I think all of our meowies might become werecats should I bring a chick home. Sigh!

Hubby is sick of doing litter boxes and me being down - he would probably freak out and head to Alaska if he had to rake up chickie poo in addition, do ya think?

Tomorrow I go for a transfusion. Doc's office called me freaking out - they had just received my bloodwork results. The red cell count was half of what it should be. I told them weeks ago I needed something, way too tired then!

Some signs of anemia:
Exhaustion
Pale Skin
Paler Gums
Sensitive mouth (I can't eat my usual hot stuff!)
Wierd cravings - (mine: ice, more ice, string cheese, carbonated green tea, and Coke)
Heart flutterings
More exhaustion
dizziness (no duh)

I'm not too bummed - I will feel better. (Although I wanted to spend my last two free days on the beach getting brown.) I will take a couple of the books I'm reading, string cheese, a Coke and sit in a plushy recliner with all the people getting chemo, have my car valet parked, be served lunch, and then I will FEEL BETTER! Just in time to go back to work. The back just keeps feeling better - hattigrace thanks for telling me about this - I love ya!

Sunday afternoon bummin' around

Little boy and I put Bob Marley in the CD player and we cruised the water areas and went down to the beach to the Crab Shack. I treated him to snow crab legs and I had an oyster po'boy. He played on the playground but the breeze turned chilly and so we headed home. It was wonderful after two years in winterland. There is a joke about Wyoming having two seasons - winter and next winter.

Eclectic Post

Sushi makes life worth living. This sushi-preparer wanted money for the photo I took which is a reason I am not a bold photographer although I see dozens of wonderful faces to take photos of.

This sushi in progress in fresh indeed - most of the fish, shrimp, etc., comes right out of the water, into the boat, which goes to the dock, which then is unloaded into the sushi place!

Just an update on life in Florida - the weather is 80 degrees, no wind, lawns are finally green, spring flowers breathtaking, sigh, perfect in other words as far as weather goes. Next September I may be singing a different tune.

My back appears to have made it over some kind of "hump" so to speak - no pain during treatment yesterday - I usually get up from the table and as the weight settles back down the nerves start screaming - well, no screaming! I cried and the assistant thought it was pain - I said, "No, no, no, I'm just estatic -that's all!"

The relief continued until I tried to give Ms. Meowi her meds - she spit them out with much squalling and squaking. I began to clean it up and found little white half dissolved pills spit all over the floor. No wonder she's not getting better. So I thought, "OK, ol' girl, its a war of the wits here!" So I put tuna juice on it and put it in again! She started gagging up foamy stuff and running all over the house, and I didn't know so much white foamy stuff could be in one kitty. She ran and sprinkled foaming spit all over trying to get rid of her pill and I ran after her and swooped her up without thinking. I locked her in the bathroom to foam away where it was easier to clean up, and came out to the kitchen for paper towels. I made a reach and POW! Electrical shocks shot through my back and down my legs - uh, oh, I forgot and not only ran but but picked up a 15 pound kitty (weight lifting is restricted to 5 pounds for next 4 weeks) and was back down on the couch again crying like a dumb baby. Scared I had undone a grueling week of work and pain to get to the place of no pain I had during the day. This morning is better.

The next news -- I got the job - talked to the boss some about the back and though I have experience in everything under the sun, I have no experience with Quick Books so he said we'll try it - and I said, ok, test run! Hubby is mad at me about the cat and about me hurting myself and afraid I'll mess up the early Social Security. If all goes well, I will be ahead financially - darn - I've paid into it all my life, and will still pay into it, I've checked with three different SS agents, covered my bases.

And, I find myself being fearful - duh! Scared I can't do it mentally and/or physically. Yeh, yeh, I know its dumb - and I have to shake out of it. Just made me realize how hard these last two years were on me mentally and physically....well, we'll see. Monday is the start date. The ironing board disappeared when I was gone, along with my sewing machine - I better find them and get busy getting my work clothes in shape. It's a very casual place which is delightful.

Doctor Daze

Today Psycho and Ms. Meowi went to the vet. True to form Psycho's problem was/is mental. Honest - while Ms. Meowi chatted with everyone and purred her way through an exam, Psycho was standing on his hind feet facing a corner of the vet's office with his paws up in the air on the wall - of course he just had his temperature taken, but seeing a cat standing on his hind feet in a corner was sort of odd even then. (Psycho is the kitty investigating the wind chime.)

Ms. Meowi charmed everyone in sight, which is her talent and inclination.

We found out that we need a minimum of 4-5 litter boxes for 3 cats. Holy cow! A small jar of "Cat Attractant" (that makes cats WANT to go in the litter box, not right next to it! - We'll see) costs $18.00. Now, adding up the "Attractant" and the litter costs, what are we going to use for gas money?

Then, on the way home, my old boss called and asked me to come in and discuss filling a position at his place of business. I scrambled into a business suit and swallowed some Aleve thinking that after my afternoon treatment, I might not be able to walk upright without a cane into his business, then what would he think!

THEN, ran to doctor for treatment, and a miracle occurred and I was not in awful pain during the treatment. I had to struggle to my feet and getting out to the car was slow and difficult, but it was in the "I can handle this range" - not awful. Have I crossed a marker into less pain? Yay? I hope, I hope. Weekends off from treatment!

THEN, to the interview, with my back brace which was laced so tight it was pushing my cleavage up under my chin. It was also pulling my pants up two inches too short. My hair is way overdo for a cut - I was not at my best. Had a nice discussion for an hour, also explained I would need some time for treatment - we negotiated, but did not finalize anything. We'll see. He has one more interview to go. I'm beginning to enjoy being home - uh, the time that I have spent at home anyway. I'm just getting to the point I'm not exhausted to the point of collapse from the last position.

Since my daughter is a nurse, I cajolled her into medicating Ms. Meowi - Psycho has his own anti-pee-pee-onna-nurse-uniform pills.

In the meantime, hubby called to tell me little grandson had asked him to pray with him to receive Christ. Initiated by little grandson - awwwwww. So I stopped at our favorite ice cream store and bought his little heart something he had been drooling for and asking about for a long time - an ICE CREAM CAKE! We had a short celebration. It was yummy.

Now, to lay down for a bit.......

May Lose a Few Days -

I started the treatments to my back yesterday. They are exhausting as I have to drive at least a two hours and then spend an hour or more there with some significant pain during the treatment, leaving me worth nothing afterward but pain.

However I had a wonderful clear morning (before treatment) this a.m. and walked for 1.5 hours - no pain! I still have faith they will work.

I find pain very interesting - I have tried all kinds of ways to handle it - from being slowly ate away to find myself unpleasant on all counts, to lying down and floating into it and asking it questions, (like "What is your purpose here, Pain?") to concentrating on it and feeling it on every level, resisting and crying, trying to separate the physical cause from the result in the brain cells....so ok, all this sounds like pain makes you crazy doesn't it - or does it sound very uh - Zen - philosophical - ???? I am such a chicken, such a chicken, a real wimp, I fear.

Hopefully tomorrah I will get on to everyone's blog......if not, please know I think about you and will catch up...

Foray into Sumi-e

My grandson came home from school with an elegant black Japanese letter for "Friend" painted on rice paper. Okay, that was a go ahead to break out the Sumi-e brushes, ink stick, watercolors, grinding stone and we experimented with Sumi-e.

I wanted to learn because I want to "free" up my artwork. I'm struggling because I want to put on thick blobs of wild color - and stroke and stroke - the art of Sumi-e is in THE (one) stroke....not to capture a "picture" but the essence of what you see. I found it a bit frustrating in that it is discipline. Hmmm, freedom in discipline? Maybe. Anyway, the frog is my work, the volcano is my grandson's work.


I've been having fun - "The Idiot" has sucked me in big time. I've been having trouble reading anything, but this huge novel with long Russian names has pulled me in! I love it - the forward warned that "The Idiot" was really the perfect man...but perhaps not, we will see as we go. He is a man, however, who says what he sees and thinks, he will not lie. He is also compassionate and too fair for an adult's way of acting. I've always wanted to read Dostoevsky. A year before I left for Wyoming I started buying a classic a month to read and didn't read any of them, left them here. Maybe I will have catch-up time now.

A contentment is drifting into my soul - how many of us are so uptight and tense because we don't do what makes us happy? We wait and wait for "Someday Isle" and then we never sail there and why are we here on earth - to enjoy, at last part of this tenure, I'm sure.