Beach Mardi Gras

Despite cold and windy weather, a low key party took place down on the "Key." Folks are looking up to the Jelly Fish Bar where most of the beads, moon pies, and cups are being tossed to the crowd below. The band was very, very good and we had tons of fun despite the chilly air. It was a cool, laid back crowd.

My beads are hanging on the dresser, giving the bedroom a bit of an exotic, old time movie flair - well at least I like to think so. Grandson is taking his beads apart and thinking of a million crafts projects.

Now, if we can navigate March, it will soon be beach going time - swimming, fishing, and tanning. That's the life. Pura Vida.

The Sasquatch in My Bathroom

There are just some days where you get out of bed - and things - well, "things" just run a bit askew...ever had one of those?

Yesterday I mopped our bathroom with a new mop that the advertisers PROMISED would pick up all the dirt. This morning I prepared for my shower and my feet felt like they were sticking to - "stuff." Drives me crazy. Ok, I'm weird. So, naked, I get on my hands and knees and start scrubbing - OH MY GOSH - where did all this hair come from - pushed up on baseboards, behind the toilet, all over the floors - ????

I peered over the countertop into the mirror - yep, my hair was still on. Last I looked the cats were not bald, and "H" still has most of his hair. This hair was black, not salt n pepper nor identifiable with any kitty kat in residence. Hmmmm. Judging from the copious amount and the state of all furred creatures in the house, I could only come to the conclusion that "Big Foot" aka Sasquatch has taken residence in the Panhandle and waits for me to leave the house so he can shower and groom where the floors are not often cleaned and he figures no one will ever notice.

Another product goes to the garage to be placed in the "Someday Garage Sale." Will I ever learn? I have a box of travel mixers that promptly broke and did not have a return address, a Rhumba vacuum "H" bought and no one knows how to program, various pieces of exercises equipment bought at garage sales that need repair and will never be repaired, and the list goes on and the garage gets more full.

I need to clean. Sort. Throw. In the meantime, I blog.

Building Life

Wasn't going to post, decided to do a short one though. I've been busy working on building that business, marriage, new life, new body, - still - ongoing - not having built a business before and forging a new thing, trying this and that, etc., is a bit trying and I'm finding that I really have to set my mind. I also want to build that garden, build relationship, build, build, build in so many areas of my life.

So what is stopping me? I think back to when I was doing websites for folks, and think "Well, that was a business, I just didn't call it that." I didn't give my whole heart to it, so I didn't think it was a business. I just did it. I wonder now, if maybe I have a subconscious time line - ok, girl, time is running out, you gotta make it or not - no in between.

One drawback I have is analyzing so much I never get anything done. I'm buying nails, counting them, holding the hammer, tapping here and there, but nothing is happening it seems!

This time of life I am faced with all my self-destructive tendencies and a need to weed them from my life. A seed planted in the ground has to be watered and fertilized and protected from storms. Us too. So why do we do the self destructive things we do, why? It's an ancient problem; The Apostle Paul, thousands of years ago wrote wondering why we do the things we really know we shouldn't do. Sometimes the whys don't matter either, only that we find a way to stop doing self-destructive behaviors and do only those (hopefully) that build ourselves and others up. For me those behaviors include procrastination, living in other places besides now, negative thinking, neglecting relationships and self-care for "busyness" that leads nowhere.

I hope when I get it together so to speak (that shift into the next life phase) that I will fall into the routine I had in my 40's, accepting it, flowing in it, fitting into it. (Then it will be time to shift to another!) There is the thought too, that this upheaval is not necessarily a change to another life stage, but a whole new "being" paradigm.

There isn't much discussion about having to change to accomodate life stages. When one reaches 55 or so, then, and from listening to the few older friends who will talk about aging, (mostly my mother) to me it feels like the beginning of a fade from society and life as we knew it. I've always believed in integrated generations. Somehow our society has categorized and divided age groups up. Our churches are the best at that! It doesn't make sense - each generation has something to give the other. I am privileged to have friends from age 3 to 93! What richness I have because of it! I think I would like to, like explorers of old, leave a trail blazed for those who are coming this way.

Anyway, approaching the second "middle age", I think there are two choices in front of us. We can either get in the rocker and continue to fade or you can re-invent yourself and your life along with it. Oh, I so want to gracefully transit and not go screaching into a gray haired ghetto.

I see photos of gray haired people doing their thing - basking on a pier as the sunlight fades - no, uh-uh, no way. That is as deceiving as the Cinderella story perpetuated on the very young!

This was supposed to be a short post, I am signing off!

Be My (Low-Cal) Valentine

Early Valentine's Day Flowers


My Valentine Day Dinner - a low low cal version of stuffed peppers - I made "H" jambalya.


When I am very serious about dumping pounds, this is what I use - pretty tasty and they work!!!


I also make 4 to 6 shakes a day and wore a blender and a Magic Bullet out - so "H" bought me a super duper commercial blender for Valentine's Day - it makes the most wonderful creamy shake!

Who says I can't have candy on Valentine's Day? I made these little fellows out of diet shake mix by using less water. I ate all eight of them - and even felt guilty so I know they were good! Didn't share, either! One hundred forty calories for the total mess!

Valentine fare around town included a dinner at a "Cajun Asian Restaurant" - that sounds pretty interesting - ! Also several "Anti-Valentine's Day" parties - well, there were times I would have celebrated that too! We won't go out - and the past few years - that's ok, don't need to. We had a great time cooking together and....

We watched "Nights in Rodanthe" and cried. And I wondered maybe if love never fully realized is not the best love? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe there are several kinds of the "best love." (Just seems that way sometimes.) But back here on Planet Earth - it was really a nice Valentine's (Early) Day! And I had to smile when "H" said, "I hope you don't think I'm weird, but that Gere is a good looking man." I said the right thing - "Well, if you break his features down, his eyes are too close together - his nose rather strange.....mmmmm, maybe."

How To?

The Humanure Handbook: A Guide to Composting Human Manure, Third Edition - Joseph C. Jenkins


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rainwater Harvesting for Drylands (Vol. 1): Guiding Principles to Welcome Rain into Your Life And Landscape - Brad Lancaster

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All New Square Foot Gardening - Mel Bartholomew - This book will show you how to grow enough food for one person in a space of 5' x 12" - for a year!
Where do we get the water if we have no power and no water systems? Check out the above book!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
These are some of the books that the emergency management person recommended. I'm ordering off of Amazon tonight. The gardening and the rainwater thing I can start - not too sure about novel ways of recycling poop, although I've thought about that subject before. I've always wanted to read "The Toilet Water Papers" because it does seem to me its pretty crazy to poop into our waterways, then extract that water, put it full of chemicals, and then drink it. Figured there had to be a better way.

Oh yeh. Some folks are now looking at me askance and saying "She's off on another trip again!"

Life as We Know It

I attended a presentation the other night that, if I let it, would scare me, a lot.

Imagine a "crash" - oft predicted nowadays. Where the monetary system collapses, then the governments collapse. No sewage systems, no water, no gasoline, no grocery stores. How does one survive?

The presenter had some pretty impressive credentials, before he quit his career ten years ago to begin the development of a self-sustained community not too many miles from here. The community will not be dependent on anything but itself for utilities, food, jobs. A new economy will be developed. I'm waiting for this man to write a book, but he thinks he will not have time for the book or the finishing of the community. He thinks possibly this crash will come within a year's time. Maybe. Maybe not.

At any rate, we are ordering the list of books he recommended - on how to grow food in small areas with little water, how to recycle rain water, (our neighbors with the cute kids are working on this), how to compost and properly and santitarily dispose of human waste, how to take care of your own private sewer system when lift stations collapse (you don't want it draining back into your own home, along with everyone's elses' waste), and other pertinent information for survival. He believes we can form neighborhood coops. He describes the shock many will be in if they don't at least think about this possibility before it happens.

No one wants to hear this. I surely don't. But my common sense tells me that all the signs are there, at least in the U.S., of pending collapse. We have sent most of our jobs overseas...many people are desperate NOW with no jobs to be had,, homelessness is higher than it has been since the "Great Depression." Even "H" has decided we need to get the books and begin the gardens and the composting and learn how to gather our rain water. We live close to the water, but salinized water isn't good to drink.

I also think perhaps a rifle and a shotgun and a guard dog would also be some good items to add to the list of survival "musts." (Although wildlife here of any size is limited to alligators - the deer are little dog-like creatures.) There is lots beautiful, but contaminated water bodies that produce beautiful and contaminated fish, however.

He didn't mention guns - the soaring crime rate here as the economy worsens doesn't indicate that ALL people would come together in a cooperative effort to sustain life.

I imagined an "end of the world" scenario, but I thought, no, it would only be an end of the world as we know it in this affluential country. Other people groups live exactly as I mention above - no proper sewage disposal, desperate for water, no jobs, thus no income...

So, all these thoughts go through my mind. Then I wonder - why did God put us here? Is it to prepare for an eternal life on a different level? There has to be a purpose - I don't believe in accidental existance or accidental anything for that matter. And I wonder, have I fallen down in my responsibility to my fellow man in not helping more with the resources I have and learning to live more simply myself? Again, its the question of purpose. I refuse to just exist, there has to be reason.

I started taking Melatonin so I would quit waking up four hours after I went to bed and I find at least the thoughts stop at night, except for dreams. Last night I dreamed we were at some beautiful highrise condos on the beach. Everyone was playing in the water, boats and yachts were pulled up to the docks - people were even jumping from the condo into the water to play. I was afraid that grandson would try to jump. It was extraordinarily beautiful. But it wasn't mine.

In some ways I can see advantages to a crash sceanario - we would not have to worry about drinking pure water - any water would be appreciated, or being poisoned by industrial waste - no industry, or contaminated food - we would be glad to be able to eat food. No worry about anti-aging - when we got older and slower and sicker we'd just die. Our current system, especialy employment, has indicated it doesn't want our wisdom and experience anyway. A crash would soon leave the young to survive and rebuild, if rebuilding would be possible.

I just happened to read what was on the label of a tube of toothpaste - the words, "if swallowed, call medical help or your poison center." Companies are purposefully sending out poisoned food to old folks' homes and school lunches with impunity. The company here that knowingly sent contaminated peanut butter out should be closed and all the executives and testers jailed, along with others that knew about it. What about moral responsibility? Perhaps it has only existed for the few.

Frayed

My inner peace is much too loud.

Week in Photos

The home of "throwed rolls." This place makes dinner rolls like Grandma used to as well as the best apple butter you ever tasted. I stopped for carry out rolls for grandson and put them in the trunk so I wouldn't be overwhelmed with the scent and eat them all on my trip.


Looking for inspiration and found it - now I just need to paint!



"H's" store - always like to drive down along the beach and shop there - amazing how friendly an employee owned store is compared to a corporation owned store.



Beware that last sip of Grand Marnier!


LOVE this painting - only this friend could pull it off so wonderfully.

Eclectic Mix

I don't know where the time is going! In the last three days I have become an Ebay merchandiser, watched more of Chelsea Lately and Chewie than I ever want to see again, taken care of grandson, made a trip to Mobile to see daughter and granddaughter, picked up prescriptions, received a letter from Met Life telling me that I was NOT a candidate for life insurance (awww, what's a little fibromyalgia - what? No doctor has EVER told me I had the fibro...what's that all about).

Gee, I can't wait until we get a nationalized database system listing all our medical records for these guys and who else. And since when did fibromyalgia become a fatal disease anyway - and chronic back pain - and, well, they did put COPD down - that's not a good one, but my health is so blasted good, perfect blood tests - dang, I guess I should investigate, would not want all that going into the national database, might make it a little hard to get employed. Especially since a pulmonary doctor told me his patients would only wish for lungs as good as mine. I almost feel like a victim of identity theft. Who me?

(By the way I see advantages to such a database, but really Americans are used to FREEDOM - it is scary the way our freedoms are decreasing, bit by bit - this to me seems a huge privacy issue.) I did sign a release - but not to send information I had never been informed of such as certain medical conditions.

So Met Life goes on to list several maladys reported to them by doctors that doctors have never told me I owned. Did they get someone else's records? Have doctors hidden diagnoses from me? If so, why? Is this a mystery that will end in material for a medical mystery novel?

What else. Church. Facebook, I am becoming a Facebook junkie. Oh yeh, and trying to clean "H's" spilled coffee out of the pale silver carpet. Exercising. Trimming bushes. (still).

I love my get up at a 6 a.m. routine and go to bed at 10:00 p.m. "H's" hours are killing me. My whole family seems to have days mixed up with nights and I feel as if I am being chased by a night vortex that wants to swallow me whole and turn my hormones upside down.

Ah, whine. I am thankful he is employed. I am thankful I can get out of bed by myself, I am thankful for a full life, full of people, and humming, thrumming life.

Ebay merchandising - oh my gosh - I have two emails wanting to know what a size 24W chest size would be and how long is such and such portion of the garment. Well, I google it and find out that it is like 50" of breast material and back. No wonder my cleavage never would end.

I wore a really low cut blouse to church today and lo, and behold, breast bone - no cleavage - ahhhhhhh - I LOVE it!!!! It is hard to be six foot two inches and do the church hug thing since most people's heads are perpendicular to my chest. I learned when men head for me, put my hand out quickly to shake hands - no boob squishing to their face, nope, none. I have always been way too suspcious of shorter men who ask me to dance. Ooops sorry, no squishy squishy now. "H" turned me on to why short men liked to dance with tall women, LOL!

Sorry, I'm in a weird mood. Maybe tired. Now that I know Met Life doesn't expect me to live very long, ah feeeeels weak. Just kidding. Getting ready for art party - need to find source material and art material and papers. Bye!

Awesome pictures

Viewers in Afghanistan



My sister sent me a link to some of the most awesome pictures of the innauguration of our new President that I couldn't resist sharing with those who might be interested.

Welcoming the Sun

Haven't slowed down except to wait in the warm sun at grandson's school with my audio book waiting for him to get out.

It's a balmy 73 degrees F and the birds are happy - so happy and I'm feeling a deep quiet passion as this sun soaks me in its warmth....

I'm regaining a lost art, left behind many, many years ago. That of sitting. Being grounded, bare feet on ground feeling blades of grass, hearing nature, trees rustling...am I finally slowing the mad race of life?

Sitting in the sun on the porch listening to birds talking - don't know what they are saying but is giving me great peace....kitty sitting at my feet (probably wishing she had one for a snack) - - contemplating stages of life and ebb and flow while practicing letting past go.....ah ha - she has just spied a bird and is lumbering off after it - poor thing has an eating disorder and is rather portly.

Thanks for sharing my golden moment. Now time to fix grandson dinner and get him off to Boy Scouts - I have to stay in there with him, that will be interesting.

Take heart, I think the birds are saying - "Soon, soon, let's gather and head north!" I shopped for bathing suits over the internet today - - - thinking of the beach - - -

Gimme Your Money

The latest beggar:

Citigroup, recipient of another $45 billion, made the opposite call. While trying to keep a low profile, the company is still fielding an army of Washington lobbyists working on a host of issues, including the bailout. In the fourth quarter, it spent $1.77 million on lobbying fees, according to its lobbyists’ filings.

These banks are griping my butt. Yep, crude language, but DANG! So far no one has proved that the last "bailout" using our tax dollars benefited any hurting homeowner. In fact, we are being told that the banks don't know where the money went, that their accounting systems just absorbed the money. Other reports include executive bonuses and offices being remodeled. That makes me mad. Now, $1.77 million of lobbyist fees? Fightin' mad. So I'm writing anyone that goes to Washington that I can find email addresses for.

Yep, I am.

Next, I am not sure about appointment of Geitner to oversee our tax system - not when he makes "innocent mistakes" - forgets to report wages he paid to housekeepers and forgets to pay his own taxes for four years. I really was hoping for someone who could count better than me.

Ah well.

Week of a Wild "Ride"

We had over 125 oranges from our orange tree - incredibly sweet and juicy!!!! "H" is culturing seeds and planning for an orange grove in the back yard. After I have stopped laughing, I am thinking of the scent of all those orange blossoms in the spring - and there is a farmers' market downtown year round....hmmmmmm.....

The problem with oranges - they need to be sprayed - the birds will peck at them, then the injured skins darken - doesn't hurt the inside fruit, but the aesthetics are then gone - and I have yet to find out if a safe, organic spray exists. I will take my dark skin losses if not.

______________________

What an exhausting week. A neighbor had surgery so I watched the children - up at 5 a.m. after going to bed at midnight....however, the upside was that these kids are a pleasure - it was a flashback to the past as I loaded them in car seats, buckled, took my grandson to school, fixed meals, answered questions - I like to watch kids - pre adults in action! The smallest boy is art in action - what verbal skills and thought patterns. The little girl is incredible as well - I love to see her observations - she's an artist and gets them on paper. The older child, age 9, is incredibly well trained and sweet. Grandson, well, he's like no other....he's taken to wearing a top hat everywhere. Doesn't care what people think. That's cool - to a point. Depends.

___________________________________

Then - at 2 a.m. the next morning - arise - after taking grandson home and getting him to bed at other home - travel to Mobile for granddaughter's surgery. The rods are out of her back, she was up already, although in pain, but did not seem to have the shoulder dropping foward or her head tilting to the left. I so hope this is the answer to all the pain she had been living with. Now she needs to get caught up in school, but she's super smart, she can do it. Life, is constantly ever so interesting and often demanding.

______________________________________

Today I work on some "self-care" - "H" is off for four days so hopefully we can find some "us" care as well. A lack of that for years was part of the downhill road we traveled relationally for so long. Cats are demanding some cat care. Psycho is lying on my arm - no, its not love - he is enjoying the heat from the computer - but with his little pink toes and body warmth, he melts my heart too.

_______________________________________

Have been given a gift of a TomTom - so will try to figure out how to use it! I had put one of those up there as a luxury like a diamond ring, or mega huge TV screen, or some other what I consider frivolous thing - a boob job - lol - for a long time I would not use a cell phone but then kids talked me into one - and I panic if I go out the door and don't have it - so do the kids - they lose track of an on-call babysitter - uhh - hhhhmmmm - perhaps I should pursue a nanny job - no, don't want loving kids to be part of a "job." Don't get me wrong, I love them. I just need to learn to balance it, my life, that is. Balance is the key to living life successfully I think.

On to the day...............

Innauguration Day

(photo from AOL)

Today was supposed to go to Mobile, but that fell apart, so I am watching inauguration festivities. What a momentous day in American History! In the not so far distance of history, folks with the skin color of our first family were slaves of white skinned people. They couldn't eat or drink where white people ate or drank and everyone knows the history of the injustices and cruelty that was perpetrated by our nation upon a race of people. Today an Afro-American will be our new President of the United States of America.

Around the White House appears to be a joyous celebration! I can't help but join in the emotions, the tears of joy and relief that so many are feeling. These feelings aren't just for the joy that prejudice has been defeated a blow, but because I believe this incredible couple, Barack and Michelle Obama, will be up to a truly daunting job.

I had my doubts two years ago, but slowly and surely this dynamic young family has won me over. (I am now watching two very beautiful young girls come down the steps on the way to the speech area looking so very self-assured.) I will research anything that captures me to the bare atoms and yet inside these atoms. I, personally, am satisfied. No, I don't expect walking on water. I do expect and believe that we have one of the best leaders we could ever have for "such a time as this." At any rate, a President that is not afraid to cry on national TV has my heart, all the way.

The past living presidents and a man we should never have let go as President, Al Gore, come down the steps looking wonderful. Ted Kennedy looks better than he ever has despite his recent illnesses. Barbara and George Bush look like they've been at a spa - they must be SO relieved!

Fashion - ah, a new day in the White House. Michelle looks like a queen in her goldish green matching dress and coat. The last time I saw her on TV, she had on a gorgeous bright red dress. Hillary Clinton even had on an electric blue coat...ah, like a coat I have been swooning for.

The main part is over - Obama's speech was awesome - I feel an era of depression, discouragement, and cynicism is over for the U.S. It is my hope that we will join together to work with an amazing leader to bring our beloved country to a standard where we will be proud once again.

Family

I may have used this image before, but if I have, sorry. Things have been a bit wild. All to do with family. Precious they be.

I went to Mobile to see M. and kids before granddaughter has surgery this coming Thursday to get rods removed from her back, so my posting, etc., might be rather skimpy until its over and things settle back down as we will be going back down there this coming week. I have to switch out magnetics from grandson's bed and make granddaughter a healing nest so she can heal more quickly. I may even download the series ("Twighlight") and loan her my Zune for recovery. She probably won't feel like doing hardly anything for a while.

Have also stuck some business calls and demonstrations in between as well as visited my doctor Lovely. I have tried to get into regular doc for a very painful lump on the side of my hand and he wanted to refer me to orthopedic doctor and that seemed to die on the vine, so I'll put that on hold until the surgery is out of the way.

Started being rigid on body wellness program going for those last pounds to leave my body. It'll be a challenge with all that is going on.

It is soooo cold here for Florida - 20 degree F. last night - and I left my coat in Mobile, darn. I'm digging out some warm sweaters - and layers - "H" and I are going to see Clint Eastwood's new movie tonight since we are childless. Youngest grandchild came after school yesterday until this a.m. I tried a new recipe for beignets today and it worked!!!! Here it is:

One can of buttermilk biscuits (easy, huh?)
Divide in half, roll out halves, cut in four sections like a pie
Drop in hot oil (I used olive oil) and fry until done - I found I had to turn down the heat and fry slowly to get the inside done -
Drain on paper towels and then sprinkle with powdered sugar - -

then.... put on some Zydeco and pretend you are in New Orleans for a little while! No, I didn't eat any - only a bite to see if this shortcut beignet thing worked - it does!

Read to Rev and Read to Sleep

A new discovery: Audible.com

I love to exercise, but hate it because I get really bored. Something Doc "Lovely" had recommended was to use the time to study, "read," and improve yourself mentally as well. He recommended Audible.com. Not being a person of great patience when it comes to time matters, I've never enjoyed listening to someone read - its just too slow, so I haven't followed through until yesterday. Being able to do something while reading sounded just too fun!

Yesterday, I signed up on the site and downloaded the recommended book, a collaborative effort by a different author for each chapter, "The Chopin Manuscript." So far, it has been attention grabbing, not as disjointed as it could be with a different author for each chapter. I love collaborative art pieces, so why not a book? So, I am tolerating the pace, and even finding some relaxation in it.

I also downloaded a book of Cormac McCarthy's and that one is next. Since seeing No Country for Old Men, I've been intrigued by the author. Perhaps I will be able to pursue some contemporary writers - and exercise more at the same time.

I let my self be "read to sleep" last night.

Be Careful!!!

Be careful out there. A friend just dropped by today and his face looked like hamburger.

Our economy here is so bad, that crime is now rampant. Two friends who have stopped for gasoline after dark at mini-marts have been assaulted and robbed - in the presence of plenty of other people! People too afraid to intervene.

There have been shootings at the gas places almost every night as well. One friend was hit in the face with a baseball bat.

We are going back to survival mode. Remembering to: Keep doors locked and be careful when we go out. Don't leave purse or packages on the car seat while filling up with gas - carry something small to hold cash, etc. that's not obvious. Keep open eyes to what is going on around you. Because of my height I forget to have a healthy fear and am not as cautious as I should be. Don't mean to be an alarmist, but these incidents were just "too close to home." A while back it was a rash of home invasions. We have had a murder every day during and since the holidays - and the County's population is only one million spread over a big distance - we are not a hugely dense population area.

Be alert when out, keep locked doors when inside.

SAY WHAT?

Our President Elect, Obama, is muttering something very scary - about our social security benefits and medicare. The word the news is using, and I hope Obama is not using is "ENTITLEMENT PROGRAM"

A legal definition of Entitlement Program is: A federal program that guarantees a certain level of benefits to persons or other entities who meet requirements set by law, such as Social Security, farm price supports or unemployment benefits. It thus leaves no discretion with Congress on how much mo.....The legal term, however, carries no value judgment: it simply denotes a right granted. For example in the United States of America, social security is an entitlement program.[1]

Now, I'm not quite sure I understand this. A right granted to receive back our own money?

We pay a hefty sum of our earnings throughout our working lives into Social Security and Medicare with the expectation we will get this back in monthly payments or services at the end of our lives. Should we be "entitled" to receive these payments back - of course we should - we have already paid our federal income tax in addition to our Social Security and Medicare payments.

The government has "borrowed" all our money that we entrusted to them for our old age "security program," so, of course government doesn't have the money to make future actual payments to the retirees of baby boomer age and elders.

Perhaps the government of the U.S. is adopting this translation of "Entitlement":

In clinical psychology and psychiatry, an unrealistic, exaggerated, or rigidly held sense of entitlement may be considered a symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

So when the government doesn't like things what do they do, change the law? Pur current President had quite a push for a while that we should be changing the program and place these contributions toward our retirement Social Security program into the stock market. Boy, that would have been a fine disaster for people who are retiring right now and in the future, would it?

Entitlement is a guarantee of access to benefits because of rights, or by agreement through law. It also refers, in a more casual sense to someone's belief that one is deserving of some particular reward or benefit.[1] It is often used as a pejorative term in popular parlance (i.e. a 'sense of entitlement').

How terribly cocky and presumptive of me, to think I would get back the funds I contributed all my life to these programs - yes, I confess, I do have a sense of entitlement -

I guess what our President Elect's exact plans will be remain to be seen. I will only say this: Obama, you said you knew what the common man goes through in trying to survive - don't let the nation's elderly population disappear into even worse poverty (granted, a few lucky or well planned people who have had no terrible life disasters still have their 401K's and savings left to rely on - but it doesn't take much to rob us of those nest eggs - that was the purpose of Social Security and Medicare - to provide a cushion in case of a failing economy!!!!!

Government can use our money to bail out banks who don't know how to manage their businesses - and then blandly sit back when the banks tell them that they just can't tell them where the money went - "into the pot" some said. I hope when Obama takes office he lets us have our own money - no more bank give aways, no stealing it for other uses - !

Meet "H"

Ah, back to life! Exhaustion is gone - head feels clear. I've cleaned kitchen this a.m., done two loads of laundry, searched high and low for some SD cards I bought (didn't find) and next, I'm going to get dressed and get on with the rest of the day's activities.

"H" has joined me on Facebook because we have tons of alumni and friends that view us as an "us" rather than just me spreading the news. We'll see how a man of few words negotiates Facebook land. I think he'll have fun. We spent part of the morning getting him up and running. Sooooooooo - he is being formally introduced today on blogspot as well. The bird in the background is grandson's toy - I'm really into parrots right now, so I've recycled him into living room deco.

Temple is organized now for coming year - all I have to do is do it. By "Temple" I mean the body that houses my hyperactive brain, my soul, my heart, and my spirit and other odds and ends. I promised Temple I would do good by it this year and quit forgetting that it is an integral part of me.

Next, I need to make a plan for my business goals, and family goals. We've already made plans for a trip to Biloxi to the Hard Rock Hotel for our March anniversary. I think this will be the first time in 35 years of marriage that we have celebrated our anniversary. Has this been a year of paradigm shifts for us? Yes. Definitely yes.

Day Two of Exhaustion

Woo hoo - what a Christmas. I am still exhuasted. Think I've picked up a wee bug - chest hurts, coughing a bit and experiencing the ol' I can't move my body thing.

The big shiny thing? Oh, it's a Christmas present from "H." I call it "The Hershey." That's because it is the size of a giant Hershey chocolate bar. It's actually a super size TV remote. This is supposed to be some king of funny joke. Or is it a sublime message that "H" is tired of tearing the bedroom apart looking for the remote to the TV? Oh, his mysterious ways of communicating. Just joking - everyone, including me got a big laugh about it - AND, guess what? It is just down right handy - - I haven't lost it, not once. The only bad thing is - - - I keep thinking of chocolate Hershey bars.

Goal today - go to Walmart - check out sales on ornaments. Come home. Make plans to accomplish what I want to do this year. A road map to resolution! Revolutionary resolutions!

Then maybe climb back in bed - finished the John Grisham book, "The Painted House" that is lying across my belly in the photo. I hope to finish "The Shack" this evening.

Maybe I'll be energetic tomorrow.

Zombie-isms

Ahhhhhhhhh - after Christmas holidays zombie-ism has attacked me. I am almost comatose today. I worked six hours cleaning the kitchen yesterday, much of it on my hands and knees on the floor working on baseboards, floor, cabinets - microwave got it too, but this morning when I opened it and found that someone's tomato based concoction exploded and they had walked away leaving the next person to clean it up, I wanted to "rampage." But the rest is clean. Anyway for the next few days. Bathrooms are next, and the plans for living lay stretched out in front of me like an impossible triathlon.

Strength will come back - my toes cry for a pedicure - a facial would be nice too - I heard a rumor that zombie-ism can be reversed with the right kind of pampering. Or at least if I perked up a tiny bit I would possibly find myself appealing to another zombie who would love to rampage......when my strength comes back.

Goodbye 2008 and Hello New Year

The last beautiful sunset of 2008. I am sad in some ways to see the year end - I don't think I've had a better year of so many personal changes, ever. Because of that I am looking forward to 2009, but this 2008 was really special.

Grandson and I came home from the movies to an invitation to go on a Midnight Walk. I wish I had received the invitation before I left for the day, because I really want to go - it's from Doc Lovely and he lives in one of the most beautiful spots on this earth - in one of the most beautiful towns on this earth - - what a treat it would be to go watch the fireworks, then walk along the bay - - - and meaningful to start the New Year focused on health! If it weren't over an hour away, I'd put on my jogging suit, my walking shoes and jump in the car with boy and head that way.

The alternative is to walk here at midnight and join the energy from a distance - not quite the same as face to face, but . . . and I so would have enjoyed meeting this family on a personal basis, and making new acquaintances with other guests. So walk here I will - - - even if it is by myself - just to say to the New Year - "I will be here - present - in so many ways."

Here is something I am passing along from Doc "Lovely" that I thought was good in the "New Year Resolution" department -

1. Instead of making a New Years Resolution to accomplish something (like lose 10 pounds or get healthy), consider making a resolution to have a routine that takes you to where you want to go. Best I think (when it comes to health) is to have a morning routine that if you accomplish that routine you will achieve the health goal you want.

Where do I want to go? And what steps will I take to get there? By writing those things down, I will create a pathway for 2009.

What did you all do on New Year's Eve?

Twas a pretty fine art party

I had been wanting to tackle this.

The story behind the picture: The man had a fire in his home and it killed one of his five dogs.

What Now?

Kids just left, PawPaw is in watching ballgames, and I'm at loose ends. Sigh. The tree is bare underneath. The cats are mad at me because I gave them a flea treatment, and I'm invited to an art party tonight. I should go. I feel uninspired. But I'm going to fix my hair, dig through resource materials and do it.

I feel a bit sad. Perhaps it is just part of the after Christmas let down syndrom. It will pass. I made a big pot of beans today complete with hamhock. They were too good. We watched "Burn After Reading" last night after kids went to bed and laughed and laughed. Now, I have work to do - January is such a blech month - despite birthday (I'll be 64, now THAT blows my mind - I shouldn't tell, but what the heck)- February will bring Mardi Gras and March will bring summer and then it'll be great.

Presents - ah, I love presents: A red velveteen jogging suit - not to jog, for looks only, a new set of very nice cookware - woo hoo - a bosch tassimo, more woo hoo, a cross necklace from grandson, purchased at the school Christmas store - I love to see what kids buy, I love my cross. What else? hmmmm.......oh a gift certificate to Belk Department store - now, what shall I get? Perfume? Clothing? Makeup? I'll take an afternoon and take my time.

Now, I'm going to do hair - again - I really need to go buy a good conditioner - but WHERE? Walmart products just aren't getting it.

Time to begin to hit discipline hard to get rest of pounds off - figure out the sewing machine, start tax info gathering, perhaps start writing that book. Or maybe just brainstorming a New Year's "want to" list.

Christmas Day draws to a close....quietly, quietly

New recipes for Christmas this year included a cajun 'tater salad (a new invention from my own taster) and my first time for cooking a standing rib roast! Both turned out incredibly good. The roast had a crisp outer crust rubbed with cracked black pepper, garlic paste, salt and rosemary. The inside was slightly pink....I used to love rare meat, but am afraid of it now and most of my family doesn't like it rare. It was tender and perfect anyway. The cajun seasoning we found at our cajun restaurant shopping lunch was the perfect tang to the potato salad. For non-potato salad eaters I made garlic mashed potatoes and homemade brown gravy. Yeh, I said I would not work hard - I did, but didn't mind, it was fun.

Christmas was done by 11:00 p.m. the day before Christmas. We spent most of today lounging about in our Christmas gifts of soft clothing....all three "girls" in our velvet jogging suits and, sported by daughter's husband (from Hard Rock Cafe - the road, not the husband), a robe that is to be envied!

We made green chili for supper. This is sort of a tradition to go with Mexican food, usually red or green chili after our holiday meals. It turned out to be fiery. Now, I truly can get back to regular eating - all this rich food - well, I'm full and ready to "clean it up!" We had Key Lime Pie for desert.

Tomorrow oldest daughter and I are going to the beach, tour PaPa's store, and then maybe hit a couple of sales. I'm buying no more clothes for a whilebut would love to find a jewelry armoir at a fabulous price!

Oh, yes - presents - PaPa was the spoiled one this year - however, I was blessed too - for the first time in my life I have a set of cookware that is true, first class, premium, heavy, marvelous serious cooking tools. Then, a new Tassimo from Bausch arrived too! I have overdone the cappuccino treats today and drank my fill of full bodied, perfectly, brewed coffee.

PaPa is dozing through a movie in his recliner - others are tucked in the magnetic bed - and I'm half heartedly watching the movie while blogging. Contented. And stuffed like a manicotti!

Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Holidays to all my friends and family!

This photo reminds me of the innocence of Christmas. We make it so complicated, but it is really so simple....so very simple that we often miss it...the true meaning.

I'm thinking of the story of the Christ-child's birth - and the amazing vulnerability all wee things possess in their newness and innocence and of the miracle of being placed upon this planet in our complete helplessness.

May your holidays be filled with quiet joy and fulfilling fun and future sweet memories.